The Family System In What's Eating Gilbert Grape

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (Hallström et al, 1993) is an emotional movie about a family who lives in a small town. Gilbert takes care of his younger brother, Arnie, who is mentally challenged. Gilbert’s mother, Bonnie, is obese; so his older sister, Amy, has taken over caring for the house and his younger sister, Ellen. Gilbert has a few friends in town, but things start to change when a new girl named Becky arrives.
Gilbert’s family system consists of four other people including himself; his mother, Bonnie, sister, Amy, brother Arnie, and sister, Ellen. A role is a part or position that someone has in the family system. Gilbert is in the role of caretaker over the house and Arnie. Amy has also stepped into

a caretaker role, ensuring that Ellen and Bonnie are being cared for. Bonnie’s role of the symptom that is obesity is used as a tie to the house that her husband built and died in. She is not able to face her grief after losing her husband, so since she is tied to the house, her kids are also tied to her there. Arnie’s mental handicap plays a role as well, in the sense that Bonnie is able to baby him, because they do not know how long he will live. Not only are there roles in the system, but there are lots of family rules. These rules include never mentioning the family’s dead father, not letting mother know that changes are being made to the house to accommodate for her weight, not going into the basement, because their father died there, and never hitting Arnie.
The Grape family is a closed system that is very reluctant to make changes.

According to Becvar and Becvar (1982) a closed system is when there is not room from outside systems to influence the family system. Multiple times throughout the movie there are allusions to the idea that “we aren’t going anywhere” (Hallström et al, 1993), because nothing ever changes in the sleepy town that Gilbert’s family lives in. The hierarchy or position of each family member goes as such; Bonnie is the mother and makes the final decision about things around the house, but she does not actually implement anything, she is heavily influence by what Arnie needs and wants. Amy is the actual head of the household, advising everyone what should be done and taking care of Bonnie and Ellen. Gilbert is third on the hierarchy, because he takes care of Arnie and works with Amy to maintain the house. Ellen is ranked fourth, because she does not have much say on what goes on around the house, but has more power than her brother Arnie. Arnie is hard to rank, because his needs are what generally comes first, but he does not have authority to make key decisions around the house.
Gilbert is often placed in a double bind, where he is damned if he does and damned if he does not. For example, Gilbert is always in charge of Arnie’s well-being. If Gilbert is always present Arnie sometimes still gets in trouble. If Gilbert leaves Arnie alone, then Arnie will get in to trouble. No matter if he is with Arnie or not Gilbert

is stuck in a double bind, because his mother and sister always tell him that he has to do better and keep more of an eye on Arnie. No matter how hard Gilbert tries he’s damned if he does and damned if he does not.
Recursion or the idea that every member of a relationship or system is an ongoing mutual influence (Becvar & Becvar, 1982) is in every relationship. During a dinner scene the family is talking about who is going to do what for Arnie’s birthday party. Ellen describes what everyone is doing and then looks at Gilbert and says that he never does anything, because he has not set a specific task for himself. Gilbert responds in a sarcastic way, which in turn sets Ellen off and the entire table starts to shout and yell at each other. This illustrates recursion, because every single person’s reaction caused another reaction to happen and there is no one single person to blame. This also leads to circular causality or actions that lead to reactions the cause reactions. Ellen feels like she does more than she is supposed to at her age, so she reacts against Gilbert who plays more of a silent caretaking role, who then gets defensive and attacks Ellen, who then responds with more blame.
Equifinality is the idea that you can try something at any different point, but no matter where you start the end result will always be the same (Becvar & Becavr, 1982). Equifinality can be observed when no matter how many times Gilbert and Amy try to convince Bonnie to get up and get dressed or to come outside for the party she does not leave her spot on the couch. Becvar and Becvar (1982) define entropy as the “lack of energy or information in a system.” This is shown by how little Gilbert’s family system is effected by the outside changes of the town. When the new grocery store comes into town Gilbert’s family does not go there and they stay near the home to protect their mother from having to leave the house.
The dilemma of change can be defined as the consequence or repercussion of said change in the family system (Papp, 1983). Gilbert experiences the dilemma of change when trying to decide if he should leave Becky to go home to give Arnie a bath. Gilbert realizes that he is always on time to give Gilbert his bath, but does not want to leave Becky. Gilbert ultimately decides to leave Becky for the time being to give Arnie his bath, but tells her that he will be back. While giving Arnie his bath, Gilbert changes his mind and tells Arnie that he is big enough to bathe himself, so he leaves Arnie to be with Becky. When Gilbert comes home the next morning he finds Arnie still sitting in the tub. This problem can be defined as an unhealthy level of morphostasis. Morphostasis can be defined as the idea that the system always stays stable and morphogenesis is defined as the ability to change and grow (Bevar & Becvar, 1982). By leaving Arnie to try to bathe himself Gilbert was showing signs of morphogenesis, but when Arnie did not continue about his routine without Gilbert, Arnie established morphostasis and did not move until Gilbert returned.
Bonnie is a constant state of denial or is the cause of the term terrible simplification, which can be defined as someone who does not see a problem when there is one (Watzlawick, Weakland, and Fisch, 2011).

Bonnie is severely obese and will not leave the house. During a scene Amy tries to get Bonnie to change and maybe sleep in her own bed, but Bonnie just keeps saying she is perfectly happy where she is at. The concept of mystification or disconfirming Bonnie’s experience of being perfectly fine where she is sitting is used by Amy, when she mentions that maybe Bonnie would be more comfortable if she got up to change and go to bed (Laing, 1965). Amy is not trying to mystify her mother deliberately, but believes that is what is best for her mother at the time and wants her to change without outright telling her what to do. Utopian Syndrome can be defined in three different ways, but for the purpose of applying the term to the movie we will use the projective term that describes someone as not being able to fulfill their full potential due to society or their parents are holding them back (Watzlawick et al., 2011). I believe that Gilbert holds this view at some points in the movie, when he mentions how his brother was able to get out of town. Gilbert seems to feel that because of his mothers’ embarrassing condition as well as having to take care of his brother he was not able to escape the mundane town that he lives in to fulfill his potential. Constructivism or the idea

that the individual creates their own reality (Becvar & Becvar, 1982) can also be applied to this case. Gilbert sees himself as stuck in his situation and not able to leave like his brother did.
Context or situations that take place that determine behaviors (Bevcar & Becavr, 1982) can be observed when looking at how Gilbert responds to his friend Tucker. Tucker asks Gilbert to come help him in the basement and Gilbert immediately looks upset and asks Arnie to go help Tucker. Arnie shakes his head repeatedly no and will not go into the basement. Tucker gets agitated and asks if there is a problem when Arnie tells him that is where their father died. Tucker did not understand why Gilbert would not come into the basement until he realized the context behind the behavior. When Gilbert is speaking with Becky about his mother, she in turn asks about his father. Gilbert then sets a boundary or enforces a pattern that establishes his family system (Bevar & Becvar, 1982), by saying he will have to tell her about his dad some other time. This shows that the family system still has the rule of not talking about their father and that she has not been admitted into the family system yet.
One of the side characters Ken Carver uses a very modernist way of thinking. Modernism is the idea that you can have an objective knowledge of the world and that there are universal truths. (Becvar & Becvar, 1982) For example, when Gilbert goes to his office he advises him that he needs to get life insurance to take care of his family. He acts as though he is the expert on what is best for Gilbert and his families well-being and that the universal truth is that everyone should have life insurance.
Arnie constantly tries to climb a water tower throughout the movie. Resulting in trouble with the local police. First order change is when minor modifications are made, but the rules of the system are still intact. (Watzlawick et al. 1974). First order change can be applied to this situation, because when the police come to have Arnie climb down he tells them he will not do it again. He tells them he will be good and not climb the tower, but he eventually tries to climb the tower again leading to his arrest. Second order change can be seen as a change that results in the family system shifting its rules and behaviors (Shelly Smith-Acuna, 2011). This occurs when Arnie is eventually arrested and his mother decides to leave the house after being in there for years. After this incident Arnie never climbed the tower again and you start to see a shift in the family dynamic of how Bonnie is treated. Gilbert shows her more respect and Bonnie tries to get around the house more.
Becky and Gilbert set up a Paradox or indirect approach, which according to Papp (1983) takes 3 steps that include redefining, prescribing, and restraining. Becky is in a pond swimming and wants Arnie to join her. Arnie has never been in the water before and always refuses to with Gilbert. Becky beckons him to get in the water and as Arnie tells her no Gilbert tells Becky that Arnie cannot go into the water, due to his safety. Then Gilbert says that Arnie is unable to swim and Arnie finds this unacceptable. Arnie tells Gilbert he can swim and that he thinks he wants to get in. Gilbert warns against Arnie getting into the water, because it will be scary and new for him. Arnie jumps off the branch into the water and they all swim and have a fun time.
Throughout the entire movie Gilbert makes fun of his mother’s obesity and does not want to introduce her to Becky. Gilbert only wants his family members to be involved with Bonnie. In this sense autopoiesis is applied, because the family has a set boundary that no one comes in the house to meet or see Bonnie (Becvar & Becvar, 1984). In this same sense a consensual domain has been established, because of the way the family interacts with Bonnie and Gilbert is able to see how the rules look from the outside when Becky tells him she wants to meet his mother. He has a commitment to his family boundary that he can test or he can continue to hold up the boundary to prevent anyone from meeting his mother. Eventually Gilbert allows Becky to meet his mother and his mother at first responds with positive feedback or confrontation that supports the functioning of the current system. Once she realizes that Becky is kind and will not be rude to her she responds with negative feedback and decides to make a change, by not only being nice to Becky, but by later attempting to go upstairs instead of laze around on the couch.
Social constructionism or the idea that our social interactions influence the way we see reality is seen when Bonnie dies in her bed at the house. All of the children are very upset after the cops advise them that their mother will have to be taken out of the house by a crane. During the entire movie they see children and bystanders who stare at their mother judging her. All of the children decide that to save their mother from embarrassment it would be best if they just burned down the house with her in it. They did not want others to look down on their mother or for her to be seen as a sideshow that would be talked about for years if she was craned out of the house.
In conclusion, family systems theory is a very dynamic theoretical tool that has developed over about a century. Family systems can be used in many therapeutic situations and can help us understand how families work in many different ways. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape has a very interesting family system and many terms can be applied to how their family process works.