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A short personal experience on forgiveness
An essay about forgiveness
Essay on the enigma of forgiveness
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Forgiveness has been defined in many ways by psychologists and researchers with no one universal definition. Hill (as cited in Maltby, Day and Mackaskill 2001) state that it is widely agreed that forgiveness involves a willingness to abandon resentment, negative judgement and indifferent behaviour towards the person who has hurt them Although research is recent, from the last 15 years, it has helped develop our understanding of forgiveness . Research has shown that forgiveness gives positive mental health and prevents the development of mental disorders such as anxiety, depression and stress. Two major models of forgiveness are Enright’s model and Worthington’s (2001) pyramid model to REACH forgiveness. Both these models involve steps and processes we go through in order to reach forgiveness. Individual differences are also taken into consideration such as personality traits such as the big 5 and narcissism which helps our understanding of why some individuals forgive and others do not and why as a result some individuals have poorer mental health as they are unable to forgive. This essay will therefore argue that the process and structural models have helped our understanding of forgiveness in terms of individual differences and mental health as they have shown steps we need to go through to reach forgiveness and research has additionally shown that those who do not forgive have poorer mental health. Furthermore it has shown that individual differences affect whether people can forgive or not taking into account personality traits. A process model of forgiveness is Enright’s model. Originally this involved seventeen stages incorporating cognitive, affective and behavioural elements (Enright and the human development group 1991) ... ... middle of paper ... ...bes-bolyai, thrologia catholica Latina, LI, 1 Maltby, J., Day, L., Mackaskill, A. (2007) Personality, Individual Differences and Intelligence. Harlow, Pearson prentice Hall McCullough, M.E, Pargament, K.I., Thoreson, C.E (2000) Forgiveness; Theory research and practice (eds) New York, The Guilford press Mccullough, M.E., Sandage S.J., and Worthington, E.L.Jr. (1997) To forgive is human: How to put your past in the past. Downers Grove, IL, Intervarsity press. Walker, D.F., Gorsuch (2002). Forgiveness within the big 5 personality model. Journal of personality and individual differences, 32, 1127-1137 Worthington, E. L. Jr. (2001) Five steps to forgiveness: The art and science of forgiving, New York, Crown Younger,J.W., Piferi, R.L.,. Jobe, R.L., Lawler,K.A. (2000) Dimensions of forgiveness. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 21: 837
Forgiveness is crucial for a clear conscience and peace of mind for the both of them. However, all of this is arguable by the fact that today’s experiences are incomparable to those of Hitler’s times. One cannot begin to place one in each other’s shoes and know exactly how to respond to the events happening. One can only guess how they would respond, but until they are in that moment, all plausible reasoning can change. Nevertheless, forgiveness continues to be an aspect of everyday life in every century.
The essay "Forgiveness," written by June Callwood, explores the concept of forgiving and how it influences people's lives for the better. Her work describes many components of forgiveness, such as how difficult it can be to come to terms with, why it is such a crucial part of humanity, and how it affects all people. Her essay aims to prove that forgiveness is the key to living peacefully and explains specific examples of people who have encountered extremely difficult situations in their lives- all of whom found it within themselves to forgive. To clearly portray this message in her writing, Callwood uses several strategies. She includes fear inducing statistics, makes many references to famous events and leaders, and uses a serious convincing tone, all of which are very effective.
Life as we all know is full of disappointment and filled with disparity. Most of us are able to go through these and learn from and forgive ourselves. Yet, this isn’t always the case. People are faced with traumatic experiences that often take a long time to get over, if they ever do get over it. These experiences brew in our brain popping up at the most random points often bringing our spirits down. Although these experiences may scar us and fill us with regret and guilt, we can’t continue to live in the past and let these regrets haunt us. Self forgiveness is a key to healing and to moving on in life, no matter how hard it is.
LeGuin, Ursula K. “Forgiveness Day.” Four Ways to Forgiveness. New York: HarperPaperbacks, 1995. Pp. 47-124.
It is amazing to know how much studies has been done and the good outcome of the practice on forgiveness intervention with the hope focused couple approach for 20 years (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). The FREE model is based on the forgiveness – based intervention that has been beneficial for many years to help the couple rekindle their love and forgive each other. It can be used with adults, parents, couples and adolescents.
Kelley’s (1998) analysis of forgiveness explains that there are three ways that individuals forgive: directly, indirectly, and conditionally. Direct forgiveness, i.e. “I forgive you,” is most often employed within a direct discussion about the transgression at hand. Indirect forgiveness occurs when the forgiver acts in such a way that implies forgiveness without explicitly sta...
Cervone, D., Pervin, L. A. (2008). Personality: Theory and research (10th Ed.). New York: Wiley.
Forgiveness of others subscales shows inclination to forgive other people. Higher scores on this scale represent higher level of forgiveness, and lower scores indicating lower level of forgiveness.
This idea that strength is needed to forgive can be shown in What We Plant, We Will Eat. In this story the main conflict is between two brothers. When their father died they inherited the land. There were many crops and the land was well cared for but the elder brother kicked the younger brother out and left him to starve. The younger brother was is desperate need for help until he
" Forgiveness undoes your own hatred and fees us from a trouble pass" ( Chirstophere Peterson)
We see it effects us in our communities as well: when warring gangs call for a cease-fire after years of senseless killings; when a spouse accepts into his or her home, a marriage partner who has repented from unfaithfulness; when a former addict becomes sober, makes amends, and is fully restored to family and community. Each time we witness an act of forgiveness, we marvel at its power to heal, to break a seemingly unending cycle of pain. Forgiveness is something virtually all Americans aspire to. Following September 11, 2001, Palestinian and Israeli officials issued orders to pull back from aggression and violence. The world is witnessing astonishing acts of forgiveness and of seeking forgiveness. Forgiveness is the key that can unshackle us from a past that will not rest in the grave of things over and done with. As long as our minds are captive to the memory of having been wrong, then we are not free to wish for reconciliation with the one who wronged us.
Furnham, A. 2001. Self-estimates of intelligence: culture and gender difference in self and other estimates of both general (g) and multiple intelligences. Personality and Individual Differences, 31, pp. 1381-1405.
Friedman, H. S., & Schustack, M. W. (2012). Personality: Classic theories and modern research (5th ed). Boston , MA, USA: Pearson
A strong Christian lesson on the true nature of forgiveness can be found in Christ’s Sermon on the Mount:
Forgiveness is the act of releasing an offender of any wrong or hurt they may have caused you whether they deserve it or not. It is a decision to let go of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group of people. When we choose to forgive, we’re wiping the slate clean, cancelling a debt, or as I love to say, “Letting it go.” In the Bible, the Greek word for forgiveness literally means to “let it go.” This concept, “forgiveness,” is easier said than done. Majority of people find it very difficult to let go of offenses and hurts caused by others. I really do believe that most people desire to let it go, but we lack the knowledge of how to do it. As believers, we are instructed by God maintain an attitude of forgiveness.