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How divorce affects children emotionally
How divorce affects children emotionally
How divorce affects children emotionally
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Growing up on the outskirts of the city, known to many as the “hood”, a lot of my friends were victims of divorced mothers and fathers. Growing up with these kids from elementary to high school they were often always the ones getting in trouble, fighting, and being expelled from school. On the other hand, children like me that came from married families hardly ever got in trouble, and we had much better social skills towards our peers and also the teachers. This made me realize, that maybe the reason they act this way is because they received a lack of parenting and discipline at home. This made me fear the thought of my parents getting a divorce and dislike the mere thought of divorce in its entirety. Not only for the kid’s sake, divorce can be bad for a number of reasons. Divorce is a bad decision because it punishes two individuals emotionally, financially, and often affects the children of the divorce more so than anything.
Marriage without a doubt is a very serious matter. To me marriage is a sacred commitment between two people who have strong deep emotions for each other. With that being said it can be confirmed that divorce can be emotionally overwhelming. “After an divorce many people often feel undesirable or unloved, and put them in a position where they are constantly reminded of former, perhaps happier, time”(Kassman). It’s hard coming to the realization that the person somebody planned to spend the rest of his or her life with doesn’t even want to be with them any longer. That factor of a divorce could lower a person’s self-esteem, and make them feel like they’re worthless. That person will always have the memories of when both them and their ex-spouse were happily in love, and the mere thought that they’ll never s...
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... broken homes” (Horn). Parents sometimes forget to consider the child’s wellbeing after experiencing a divorce, they feel since the children say that they don’t care than everything is alright. When in actuality that child is very distraught and torn apart completely inside. Divorce in a home often teaches children bad habits; children tend to quit more in life when their parents are split up. Divorce is one of the most detrimental things a child can face.
Divorce takes away from people mentally, emotionally, kills damages kids cognitive tremendously. Divorce takes away from the American value of a family. At one point a divorce was sought out to be the worst and last resort, but now it’s become so common people don’t look down on it anymore and feel that its natural, but it’s not. The thought of the divorce is a poison to society and the American way life and love.
Divorce causes an enormous amount of stress in the lives of many; according to the American Psychological Association, in America, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples divorce. For most parents, missing their kids on weekends, holidays, and vacations can be very stressful; the parents are often stressing about what the other parent is telling the child and who the other parent has around the child. In a divorce, most likely, there will be some increased financial stress for one spouse or both. Possibly the house, the cars, the accounts, and maybe the dogs could be divided within both parties; it may work out good for someone, but both individuals will inherit some unmerited stress. Knowing, as a parent, children are likely to suffer due to the removal from a natural environment causes pain to a loving parent; most important, the stress it causes to a kid can be unbearable. The decision to cancel a marriage can be very chaotic and traumatic to all parties
Divorce is a word that everyone knows very well, no matter what the age. These days, everyone knows at least one person that has either been in a divorce or whose parents are divorced. Today, about 50% of all marriages end in divorce('No-Fault' Divorce, 2004). Between the time that half of those couples get married and divorced, many of them had children. By 2004, "one in four children lived in single-parent homes"('No-Fault' Divorce, 2004). After the divorce, not only are the adults hurting, but the children are also. Throughout the divorce, the parents are caught up in each other, money, possessions, and their own pain that without even realizing it, their children are hurting too. Adults are becoming more careless and think less about how compatible they are to their partners. Some couples have children shortly after the wedding before they adjust to each other. After their children are born, the real problems start to become more relevant. With new problems surfacing and raising children at the same time, it becomes very difficult and divorce sounds like an answer to the problems.
When divorced, the children go through many emotional changes. "Children of divorce are more depressed and aggressive toward parents and teachers than are youngsters from intact families. They are much more likely to develop mental and emotional disorders later on in life" (Leo 2000). Children and teenagers have a hard tim...
As an adult, we sometimes forget what it is like to be a child dealing with some of the childhood pressures. Many parents do not realize how something like divorce could possibly
Divorce should be harder to obtain due to the effect that it has on children the main effect it has on the children is depression. “ In the short term divorce is always troublesome for children Mavis Hetherington videotaped and scrutinized the workings of 1400 divorced families since the early 1970’s. Hetherington pinpoints a crisis period of about two years in the immediate aftermath of separation when the adults, preoccupied with their own lives, typically takes their eye off parenting just when their children are reeling from loss and feeling bewildered” (Hethrington 2). This article states that the short term effect of divorce affects the kid deep because they feel that they lost one forever and in those 1400 many of the kids felt the effect of the divorce. “Wallerstein has told us that divorce abruptly ends kids’ childhood, filling it with loneliness and worry about their parents, and hurting them prematurely and recklessly into adolescence. (Wallerstein 2).” This later affects the kids life because they try to think of happy memories they had but really all they can think about is the parent that they loss due to the divorce. “Contrary to the popular perceptions, the alternative to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts tell us that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In the vast number of divorces, then, there is no gross strife or violence that could warp a youngster’s childhood. The majority of marital break-ups are driven by a quest for greener grass—and in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Zinsmeister 2)” this proves to me that when people get a divorce they most of the time don’t ...
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
Divorce is a very common word in today's society. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, "divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage or a complete or radical severance of closely connected things"(Pickett, 2000). This dissolution of marriage has increased very rapidly in the past fifty years. In 1950 the ratio of divorce to marriage was one in every four; in 1977 that statistic became one in two. Currently one in every two first marriages results in divorce. In second marriages that figure is considerably higher, with a 67% average (National Vital Statistics Report, 2001). One critical aspect of divorce is often not taken into consideration: How it affects children. Every year 1.1 million children are affected by divorce (Benjamin, 2000). Children from divorce or separation often exhibit behavioral and long-term adjustment problems (Kelly, 2000). Throughout this paper I will discuss divorces effects on children at different age levels, how they react, and what can be done to help them.
Although almost all children from broken homes are survivors, they often have lifelong emotional scars. It would be impossible for a child of any age to come through a divorce no matter how civil without some sort of emotional damage. That is why it is so important for the parents of these children to make extra efforts to be a part of their kid's lives. It is vital at any age that these parents stress to their children that even though they (the parents) may not love each other anymore the love they have for them (the children) is unconditional and never ending.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
Children who come from broken homes or who have divorced parents often grow into adults with no family values and in turn, have broken homes of their own. In some cases, these children grow into adults with little values and lack the ability to do whatever it takes to ensure that their children do not suffer the same hurtful experience they did.
American Journalist, Helen Rowland said, “ When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understand each other, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to” (1). Divorce means the ending of a marriage by legal separation, thus, a couple that were once bonded together have now separated for opposing reasons. Divorce has hurt and destroyed many families across the world and can cause a lot of negativity. Teens often do not know how to deal with the fact that their family is no longer whole and they will transition into a depression. Teens may experience emotional damage by seeing the two most important people in their lives fight constantly. There is a good side and a bad side to seeing parents go through a divorce as a teen. Quite often teens tend to see that, since they are so unhappy, that it is better for them to separate because they do not want to see their parents get hurt. Even when separated, they learn to communicate and bond between one another. The negative side of divorce is that families sometimes stay torn apart, therefore: There is a lot of anger, rage that happens because going through a situation like this is not something that is easy, and many emotions become involved. Dealing with their parents can be difficult for some teens, but for many others, they feel as if a divorce will make their family happier without seeing all of the fighting.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...
Divorce is a plague that is destroying numerous families across the United States of America. Sadly, when husbands and wives divorce, the children are often caught directly in the middle. Throughout the years divorce has been becoming more and more common. In the 1920's it was a rare find to know a person whom had been divorced, today it is a rarity not to know of one who has been, or will be divorced. Divorce has numerous effects on the structures of families, and many devastating effects on the children that must experience it, although sometimes necessary, divorce radically changes the lives of adolescents and adults alike.
Divorce has a negative effect on the psychological and social aspects of our children, which may appear instantly or not come to the surface for years. This is why I think that divorce should only be a last resort and not rushed into even by couples with the most troubled marriages. The only acceptable reason for someone rushing into divorce is if they or their children are in danger. I believe that marriage is a commitment not to be taken lightly and disregarded at the first bump in the road especially when there are children involved. Far too many people do not want to take responsibility for their actions and choices; for example, people use abortion as birth control and couples’ jumping in and out of marriages like it’s a trial and error institution. Marriage is no longer taken seriously; commitment and monogamy are no longer an essential ingredient. For most couples today, it’s not even considered as a part of marriage. The negative effects that divorce has on children should be the number one consideration when a couple hits that hard time in their relationship.
A divorce is defined as “a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or part, especially on that releases the marriage partners from all matrimonial obligations” as stated by www.dictionary.com/browse/divorce. In current society divorces has been a well-known phenomenon and is quite common t everyone. Couples are getting divorced die to many reasons. Some of them are, but not limited to other love affairs, loss of romantic feelings, infidelity, getting married to young or even conflicts in the home between the two spouses. It is a heavy concept that impacts child(ren) and family one way or the other, both advantageous and negatively.