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Cause and effects of divorce on children
Cause and effects of divorce on children
The effect of divorce on children
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How do kids suffer after their parent’s divorce? Even though more than sixty percent of couples with kids stay together, around forty percent of marriages with kids end in divorce. These children are affected by divorce more than it is often talked about, and they all handle it differently. Sometimes they do not behave in a properly when it comes to their ex-spouse, this shows the kid that they have a damaged relationship or might even convince the kid to hate the other parent based on these behaviors. Someone that has first-hand experience at this is Lilly. She has been experiencing negative parents and step-parents since the age of eight. Just like Lilly, these kids everyday lives are impacted greatly as well as their mental and physical …show more content…
Some may include that they do not feel safe telling anyone about their home life, they may think that their thoughts are wrong, or they simply do not want to be judged by their parents or friends for what they say (“Helping Your Child Through A Divorce”). It is these fears that force kids to keep their thoughts and emotions bottled up which is unhealthy for them. When their feelings are put aside and not resolved, then they may boil up and cause tension or even cause the kid to act out. Sometimes the child or teen even put on a face to act like they are in agreement with everything that is happening when in reality they are not. The quote, “Some kids try to please their parents by acting as if everything is fine, or try to avoid any difficult feelings by denying that they feel any anger or sadness at the news” (“Helping Your Child Through A Divorce”), points out that often they are too scared to admit that something is wrong and then they end up pushing people away without their parents even noticing. This creates social problems in their …show more content…
After hearing her story, I was overwhelmed with a great feeling of sympathy for not only Lilly but also everyone else in her family. I could not believe that one event could have such a great impact on someone’s life. These kids are placed in drama every single day of their lives. Something else I noticed is that Lilly would not go into detail about her dad’s current wife and would only say that her stepmother never really took the time to learn about them. Also after having Lilly as a friend, I had heard multiple stories about her stepmom, but I wondered why Lilly would not tell any of them during this interview. After a long thought process and much research, I came to the conclusion that some step-parents are controlling and rude to their step kids. Then from prior knowledge of Lilly’s situation, I figured this to be true about her stepmom. Lilly and her sisters were so frightened of their stepmom that they would refuse to say anything in detail about her while being recorded. This was one of the effects that the divorce had on them. Most kids refuse to say anything harmful about the other parent to their favorite parent since then they could open a custody battle which would put the minor through even
Arjun feels ignored because of his mother’s attitude, “When Arjun left the room, his mother’s footsteps did not follow him, as they so often had in old house. Once as he loudly dragged his feet he heard the man saying, let him be, he is growing up, you have to give him space” (Kapur 148). The worse happened in the form of his admission in a boarding school, which left Raman at the back foot. It is the tragic plight of children that in spite of having parents they had to go to boarding school. Dr. Carl Pickhardt narrates the effects of divorce on children’s psyche in his article, The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents:
The Case of Anna Plagued with deception and abandonment, 9 year-old Anna is reaching out to other peers and adults who are willing to give her the time, attention and comfort she needs. Anna’s relationship with her step-dad, Frank, may have been far more meaningful and closer to her than her relationship with her mother, Karen. This may also be the case for her siblings. Due to Karen’s continuous battle with Rheumatoid Arthritis, which can be quite painful and incapacitating (WebMD, LLC, 2016), it is likely that Frank held the most important role in the household in addition to being the steady breadwinner. Now that Frank is no longer around, Anna may feel alone, despite her siblings and mother being in the home with her.
They have to get used to a further living area, feelings and circumstances. Their response to divorce can vary and depends on age, gender, and personal characteristics. This essay will show the effects of divorce on children under various aspects such as educational, psychological and social impact. In addition, it will contain data about the divorce rate in the US and present disparate reactions of children. It will also include adequate recommendations for parents as to how to act on children after divorce, in order to minimize the adverse effect on children.
Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.
Children of divorced parents may have a lower sense of psychological well-being than children who grew up with intact families the range of feelings that a child may encounter include: disbelief and denial, sadness, loss, loneliness, depression, anger, anxiety, fear, relief, and hope. Some children may experience long-lasting emotional effects into their adulthood that damage their ability to preserve relationships. The result of parental divorce shapes children emotionally and may impact self-esteem, future relationships, dating and marriage (Armando Loomis and Booth 895+)..
Have you ever heard the statistic passed around ‘50% of all marriages end in divorce’? Of course you have, by the time most everyone hits high school they have probably heard it so many times they are tired of it. But one thing that is hardly ever talked about is; what effect, psychologically, does this have on the child from that family? The stress on a child created by a divorce is not permanent, but can cause lasting effects into adulthood. Because almost everyone has heard ‘50% of all marriages end in divorce’; the thought of what does the child go through should be just as common. There is almost no getting around the fact that the child will suffer because of the divorce at some point. What does the child go through? How do they cope with it? How does this affect their grades? Are they more likely to get a divorce too if they get married? This is just some of what a child of divorce is likely to face, that is why this is something that deserves serious thought.
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
When a couple with a child chooses to get a divorce this can have major impact on a child at any age. There are many causes of stress throughout the divorce process that can negatively affect children. First, negative reactions and behaviors are dependent upon the situation before the divorce. Some studies show that how much parents fight, how it is done, how it is resolved, and what precautions are taken to protect the children from it's effects are the most important predictors of child adjustment (Kelly, 2000). Meaning that if children are exposed to fights about custody, money, or the failing marriage they could feel the repercussions of their parents conflict. Next, divorce can cause children to have heightened fear...
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
In a divorce, the parents usually do not get along and may have different opinions on items. They may go to court and fight against each other about what factors caused the separation leading to the divorce and how the properties are divided. This possible exposure is very unhealthy for a child. The child sees his parents fighting and may learn from the behavior and display it. He or she may see that behavior as being an acceptable action. The fighting behavior of parents causes behavioral problems within a child. The child may hear things from one parent about the other that causes the child to take sides when he or she should be learning not to be biased and to love both parents equally.
Children are psychologically and socially affected by divorce and may need counseling either at the time of their parent’s divorce or in the future. They may react instantly by getting lower grades or becoming depressed or anxious. Younger children may begin to cling to the parent that remains in the home with them for they fear that both parents will eventually leave them. Older children may begin to rebel or become extremely disobedient and disrespectful. You may see unpleasant attitudes develop and they can become unsocial and no longer desire to be around their friends. Most children feel guilty for their parent’s ...
Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Every child caught up in the distress of divorce has a hard time coping with it and imagining their life without a parent. Their anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through these emotions at different levels and at different times depending on the child’s age. How bad or how well children handle the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind.
There are a lot of emotional tolls that come from it as well. The divorce alone is not the only thing that causes children to act in such a negative way. Fighting that occurs in the household causes increased reactions to the situation (Oppawsky, 2000). As anyone would guess precursors to divorce and divorce lead to more crying. It is not just more crying though, it also children are crying for longer periods of time (Oppawsky, 2000). Thinking about it, it makes sense for this to occur. Divorce is a sad time for any child because no one wants to see his or her parents split up. In Oppawsky’s (2000), report children also experienced different variations of sadness as well as feeling shame with what was occurring in their family unit. Problems with emotional instability arise when children start to express anger towards their parents. Depending on how conflicts were being handled at home and a child’s coping abilities a number of negative feelings could be expressed towards parents (Oppawsky, 2000). One little girl recalled her situation “a terrifying time of loneliness” because she felt so much hatred to her parents she wanted nothing to do with them (Oppawsky, 2000). The biggest emotional response from children was fear. Being in the situation children did not know what was going to come from it. They feared the unknown, losing contact a parent, and worst of all they feared death (Oppawsky, 2000). Some children
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.