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Relationship between adolescents and parents
Adolescent development in the role of parents
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Most people feel as though controlling their children’s every move is what is best for them in the end, but in reality, it causes more harm than good. Overprotecting your child can lead to short-term problems such as being bullied to long-term problems such as depression. Also when you overprotect your child it can weaken your relationship in the future. Your child may feel as though they cannot come to you for things because you might judge them or doubt their abilities toward things. Another big problem most children seem to face with overprotection is a decrease in their confidence. They are always going to try and do what they can to meet your standards. When they do not think they meet the standards of where you want them to be, they will start to doubt themselves and feel as though nothing they do is ever good enough. These findings are very true to me; watching my peers grow up around me and seeing just how different parenting skills are can be is very alarming. A lot of parents think that raising their kids a certain way is what is best for them. But every child is different, no matter how you bring them up, and sooner or later they are going to start wanting to make their own decisions. Some parents believe it is better not to expose your children to certain things such as sex, drugs, and alcohol because it would beneficial to them to stay away from these things. But what they don’t know is when their child finds out about it from friends or peers, the outcome of that is going to be worse than the parents letting them know ahead of time.
I feel as though parents need to ask themselves if there is a middle ground in how they raise their child. Can one be not too overprotective yet not so lenient at the same time? N...
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... the future they are going to think about how the parent will feel about the situation, instead of what they truly want to do. Every child wants nothing more than to be accepted by their parents and feel like they can go to them for comfort. In the Asian culture their parenting skills are known to be the strictest of them all. Asian parents tend to be more overprotective because they set high standards that they want their kids to fulfil. A lot of Asian parents just want their kids to become successful in life, but at the same time all the pressure they put on their children will make their child resent them. Though a lot of Asians seem to focus on how their child is doing academically, they tend to come off cold and unloving, and that’s what affects their children the most. Another thing overprotection can lead to is your child being bullied while attending school.
“In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that ‘stressing academic success is not good for children’ or that ‘parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.’ By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be ‘the best’ students, that ‘academic achievement reflects successful parenting,’ and that if children did not excel at school then there was ‘a problem’ and parents ‘were not doing their job.’ … Chinese parents spend approximately ten times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams” (Chua 5). Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua is an engulfing novel which clearly distinguishes the difference between Western style of parenting and the Chinese style of parenting. The quote stated above shows some of the statistics that we completed to write this book. The story is a breathless and emotional memoir of Amy Chua, consisting mostly her two daughters and husband. While the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother appears to be about the battle between a parent and a child and the relationship they share, the author, Amy Chua, has actually implied that it is important for the children to start developing skills early on to benefit in the future as well as be successful in their lives.
A strong work ethic and high expectations in education are values of many Asian-American parents. Their children are not only expected to get good grades but to be at the top of their class or get straight As. Many Asian-American children experience test anxiety due to their fears about pleasing their parents or shaming the family.
Fortunately, children do not need “perfect” parents. They do need mothers and fathers who will think on their feet and who will be thoughtful about what they have done. They do need parents who can be flexible, and who can use a variety of approaches to discipline.” - James L. Hymes, Jr. This quote, I can say, is physically very true.
There are big differences in how Chinese mothers act towards their children compared to Western mothers including the expression of feelings and approval, the worth of their children, and what is best for them. Amy Chua (2011) incorporates her own personal experiences of being a Chinese mother within her article and compares that to what she witnesses in America.
In Asian American and African American homes the negative association with physical punishment doesn't hold the same stigma as in middle-class white homes. Children from African American homes don’t view their mother’s any less warm and caring even if they receive physical punishment. (Cherlin 276) Authoritarian parenting style for minorities actually appears to have some benefits in protecting Asian American and African American adolescents from engaging in deviant behavior. The child would be more concerned about their mother finding out of their actions versus other authoritative
In “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior,” by Amy Chua, she argues that the Chinese are the most successful doing this. Through a harsh parenting method with continuous punishment and unmatched motivation, Chinese children prove to be one of the more successful races of children. The Chinese believe that they know what is best for their children, and that
In an earlier study, Sue and Morishma (1982) found that East Asian American students showed higher level of anxiety than non-Asian students. The authors concluded that there are increasing rates of depression, school dropout, substance abuse, and juvenile delinquency among East Asian American adolescents. Also, according to Aldwin and Greenberger (1987), Korean students were significantly more depressed than European American students, as well as the participants’ perceived parental traditionalism was related to higher levels of depression among the Korean participated students. Okazaki (1997) measured differences in depression and social anxiety among East Asian American and European American college students. The author found that East Asian students were significantly higher on both measures of depression and anxiety than European American students. In addition, in a current study, Young and his colleagues (2010) concluded that Korean American students are more depressed than Chinese American, other Asian American, and Caucasian students. Also, the authors suggested that cultural norms and intergenerational conflict may contribute Asian American children have more depressive symptoms (Young et al., 2010). Thus, adapting Young et al.’s perspective, I consider perceived cultural norms and
What is parenting? Parenting has many different definitions depending who is asked, some might say it 's the highlight of their day while others may share how they regret or dread going home, but the real definition of Parenting is; the raising of a child by its parents, or the process of becoming a parent. It is stated within Wikipedia that, “Parenting or child rearing is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, financial, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.” It also mentions that parenting is including the aspects of raising a child outside the biological relationship.
It can be said for most parents that they want their children to grow up to be successful contributing members of society. Being a parent is a difficult, yet rewarding task. But why do some types of parenting result in juvenile delinquency while others find success. There are four generally recognized parenting styles and are categorized: authoritarian, permissive, neglectful, and authoritative. This essay will break down the various styles, its type(s) of discipline and effectiveness.
This style of parenting is best described as the child having more control over the parent. There are a lot of parents today that seem to have no control of their child actions and even words. This in which can make the parents question what are they doing wrong when it comes to raising their child. This type of parent have very low demands and are highly responsive, maybe even too responsive to the child’s needs. Although these parents are very loving of their children they do not have many rules that their child should abide by (Cherry, K. 2017, para.1). Not setting ground rules gives the child the freedom to do whatever they want and know that they will not receive a harsh, if any punishment at all. Also, parents who are permissive tend to want to be their child’s best friend. The child in this parent in child relationship tends to have more control than the parent. If there are not any rules in place to be followed the child will eventually resort to negative behaviors, and may even be insure because of the low discipline from their parents (Cherry, K. 2017, para. 9). Permissive parents should give the child rules to follow and discipline them if broken, to ensure that their child follow the right path throughout
Every person raises their children in different ways, some are helicopter parents, never wanting their children to leave the nest or get hurt. Some let their children
There are many approaches to parenting and everyone has their own preferences as to what they think is best. In a fast paced rush around society, it is hard to know what the best choices are for your children. There is a struggle to balance what needs to be done with what can be done, and this has negative and positive feedback on the children. Parents play a critical role in shaping and guiding their children into functional confident adults. An effective parent will learn as they teach in order to grow into understanding with their children.
However, she never considers the long term effects that Western style parenting has that is superior to her tiger mom parenting style. "Western parents seem much more concerned about their children’s psyches, their self-esteem, whereas tough immigrant parents assume strength rather than fragility in their children and therefore behave completely differently” (Luscombe). The Chinese parents ' lack of consideration for their children 's feelings put their future well being at risk. In fact, "suicide in China accounts for 26% of all suicides worldwide" (WHO). This astonishing fact causes people to raise eyebrows towards the long term effects that Chinese parenting causes. It gives children low self-esteem and depression that domino effect out of control as they grow
Overpowering sternness leads may lead to a rebellious child, while passive parenting may lead children to inept for the challenges of adulthood. Parenting requires more than teaching children submissiveness, or building of self-importance. Children learn best from a role model who is admirable. Parenting is a great opportunity to set the course of one’s entire life in the right direction.
...tally know the difference between right and wrong, but without taking control they will downfall into negative activities, such as having sex, experimenting with drugs, or other dangerous activities that surround us on a daily basis and the parents end up getting mad at them, when they’re not being in their buisness. Yes no teen wants their parents in their business, but at least be aware of where your child is at and what they’re doing. And make sure what they’re doing is positive.