Lance Decker Bacon Block 3 April 18th 2024. The Effect of Harmful Relationships “A child that is being abused by its parents doesn’t stop loving its parents, it stops loving itself”, (Shahida Arabi). Abuse is defined as the act of treating (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly. Many people are in harmful, abusive relationships, stuck in a never-ending cycle of forgiveness and hurt. Often the person doesn’t hate the abuser, but begins to hate themselves. How can long-term physical/ mental harm affect a meaningful relationship? The book The Chosen is set in 1940s Brooklyn right after the Holocaust. During the 1940s, many parents were really rough/ strict on their children. This was especially shown being a part of the Jewish Community, …show more content…
“I have no choice,” he said. “It’s like a dynasty”. If the son doesn’t take the father’s place, the dynasty falls apart. People expect me to be their rabbi. My family has been their rabbi for six generations now”, (Chaim Potok). Danny is trapped in this cycle of father and son. The Father teaches the Son, and the Son takes the place of the Father. Danny feels the pressure and weight from the people of his religion and bloodline. This mental harm affected the relationship with his father, making them both angry at each other. Another example of this father-son abusive relationship is in the short film titled A Safe Place by Angelos Roditakis. In the motion picture, we see a young boy who is playing with his toys. When suddenly he hears the door to the house open, (0:39-1:22). The Dad of the kid comes into the house stumbling and finishes off his beer as the kid watches, looking through the crack in his door. The man then gets angry for no reason and gets his belt out to hit his kid. In the short film, when the door opens, the kid admittedly notices and stops playing to go see what the situation was. This shows that through long term physical harm, the child
Abuse doesn’t always have to lead to negative outcomes it could lead to positive effects. After having many dangerous experiences next to Frank, Ruth decided she was done, “He has blackened her eye, knocked her down the stairs, and once even broke her arm, after deciding she had had enough, she gained the courage to leave him.” This emphasizes that after getting treated so harsh, Ruth is brave enough to part from Frank. People don’t always concentrate on the negative side of abuse, sometimes they manage to see the bright side to it. Abuse doesn’t always have to lead to negative effects sometimes it can flourish something positive like
The relationship between the two fathers and the two sons is a very important theme in this book. Because of their different backgrounds, Reb Saunders and David Malters approached raising a child from two totally different perspectives. Despite the obvious differences in the two men’s beliefs, both did what they thought was right for their sons. Reb Saunders was a Hasidic tzaddik and wanted his son to follow in his footsteps. He raised Danny in silence, hoping to teach him to listen to silence, to learn compassion, and to develop a soul to go with his mind. Unless it had to do with religious studies, Reb never had an actual conversation with Danny after the age of 3. Reb wanted Danny to find things out for himself. On the other hand, Reuven’s father, Mr. Malters, felt it very important that he had good and frequent communication between himself and his son. The two would sometimes talk for hours about life, different religions, friends and anything else Reuven would want to ...
Especially in the book Miss America by Day, it mentioned about one of the maltreatments called incest (Maltreatment is intentional harm to or endangerment of a child, Incest is a sexual relations between persons closely related.). Like in the situation of Marilyn, author of the Miss America, she went through incest with her father at the age of five to eighteen, so until she became an adult it was very hard for her to tell her own story to anybody because she was afraid nobody would believe in her. Like the Child, Family, School, Community says, “the closer the victim and offender are emotionally, the greater trauma the victim experiences.” I agree with this statement, it is true that the closer the offender to the victim which the greater the trauma victim experiences. Some of the maltreatments are temperament of the child, marital distress, unemployment, lack of community support, and cultural values such as tolerance of violence can be considered as maltreatment. Other symptoms are poor social skills with peers of their own age(s), unable to trust other people, feel depression, commit suicide, have self-destructive, and confusion about their sexuality. It also said that high percentage of drug abusers, juvenile runaways, and prostitutes have been sexually abused when they were children. But for Marilyn Van Derbur felt very depressed and had temperament, but she coped with her pain by socializing and acting out as if nothing happened to her because she has to keep it as secret from everybody else ( Child, Family, School,
Abuse and neglect can lead to psychological effects that can hinder a child into adulthood such as anxiety, depression and flashbacks. Research states, that if a child was presented with a positive and stable life in their younger stages of life, they are less likely to develop emotional sensors that allow them to repeat the same negative behavior against their own children when they are adults (Effects of Child Abuse and Neglect). In David’s case he remember his mother being an immaculate woman who spent time with her family making sure they knew they could count on her. Children who are abused physically tend to have bruises, fractures and abrasions where they are not common. Catherine abused and neglected David emotionally which was undetected since he never said anything to anyone, and the scars inflicted on him could be concealed by his clothing. The nurse only saw the stab womb on David’s stomach when she conducted her routine exam. I agree, with the article when it implies that every child that was abused does not mean that they are going to be an abuser too. In my opinion, we all can take the right track to our destiny, by being our own person, we can see the demise in someone else and choose to accept walk that same path or choose our own path because we saw the destruction that they went through in the process of being so
In Queen’s “Being Emotionally Abuse: A Phenomenological Study of Adult Women’s Experience of Emotionally Abusive Intimate Partner Relationship”, focused on a total of 15 women, who have been emotionally abused from an intimate partner relationship and wanted the women to describe, “What is it like to live the life of a woman who is emotionally abused by her intimate partner?” When experiencing emotional abuse, it can be express as “not easily detected; it is non-transparent in there is no physical markers.” (Bornstein 2007, Campbell & Humphreys, 1984; Evans 1996; Gelles & Strauss, 19888; Kurst-Swanger & Petcosk, 2003, O’Leary 1999; Walker, 2000). The emotional abuse can be very hurtful towards the women at times because while in the cycle of the relationship, the woman cannot tell when something bad or good will happen. While this is happening, she begins to lose strength that she once had before and in away she is trapped inside her own mind. With physical harm, individuals outside the relationship can notice the bumps and bruises on the skin. Alma, a young mother of three pre-teen girls describes her personal experience with emotional abuse as, “I was very restricted. He wouldn’t allow me to contact my mom...my family, my friends. After I had my daughter, I wasn’t allowed to go to the doctor. I could only go to take my daughter...I didn’t know anything about our checking account..I didn’t have my own money.” When thinking about emotional abuse, understand that you cannot see the “bumps and bruises” but you can still see the effect it has on the partner by using their minds as their weapon rather focus upon the individual. According to Queen and others, after their research, they would define
... own childhood; no matter it are security and nurturing or abandonment and neglect, guidance and respect, or abuse and disdain. Not only the man becomes psychologically or physically abusive, but he is also aggressive towards his partner whenever he feels that his experience of rejection and consecutive disruption cannot be soothed by the defence that he mounted. Those people with a history of neglect or abuse, they usually not able to have confident in their partners whereby they perceive their partners as enemies instead of allies. These abusive relationships are often repeatable becoming more intense as if the man is riding on a rollercoaster ride. The rejection-abusive cycle is considered complete when the man felt he is not appreciated as his unrealistic expectation on relationships is not fulfilled - closeness and intimacy, in other words, further rejection.
Scott wrote a talk titled “Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse.” He begins by discussing the effects of unresolved abuse– feelings of fear, depression, guilt, lack of trust in others, and self-hatred are among the listed emotions. Elder Scott also taught that abuse is the result of a person unrighteously using their agency, and that the Lord has provided a way to heal.
The relationship between the husband and wife seems initially to be perfect. They both show each other expressions of love. There is understanding, harmony, financial security, and good communication between them. The couple spends a lot of time together, discussing future plans, and talking about the good moments they had in the past. However, behind all of this positive interaction between the two of them is something they are both not able
Zora Neale Hurston, an acclaimed African-American writer, wrote the novel Their Eyes Were Watching God during a time when women did not have a large say in their marriages. The novel follows the main character Janie in her quest to find what she thinks is true love and happiness. Hurston highlights the idea of healthy and unhealthy relationships throughout Janie’s three marriages. Each marriage had its advantages but they were largely overshadowed by their disadvantages resulting in Janie learning the hard truth about married life for a women of color in the 1920s. Ultimately the reader and Janie learn that in order to be happy in a marriage you must love, learn, and lose from past relationship experiences to figure out what truly makes you
Currently, there are many children whom suffer from emotional, physical, and sexual abuse in their family. Emotional abuse is the lack of interest or affection parents have towards their children. As a result of emotional abuse, children are left feeling worthless and unloved. Physical abuse refers to attacking children resulting visible bodily injuries from either being burned, pushed, punched, slapped, or whipped. Sometimes physical abuse can be extremely severe that children have broken bones, fractures, or hemorrhaging. Sexual abuse occurs when a person forces, tricks, or threatens children to have sexual contact. These acts of child abuse could prevent children from living a normal adulthood. In order to deal with such a traumatic childhood, adults abused as children should rid themselves of such burdensome, painful memories.
Psychological maltreatment, like many other forms of abuse can also be passed down through intergenerational transmission. It is not unlikely for parents to psychologically mistreat their children due to their own past or childhood experiences with psychologically abuse. For example, it is not uncommon during the course of an investigation of physiological maltreatment that it is discovered that the perpetrator had their own form of abuse history in the past. Often time’s people look at psychological maltreatment as a consequence resulting from some other form of abuse, mainly physical and sexual, but tend to overlook the fact that it may also occur as an individual form. Psychological maltreatment can take more than one form. During the course of researching for this paper I learned that there are three typical forms of behavior in which people follow when displaying this type of abuse against children. The three types are acting in an aggressive, rejecting, and lessening
Lemoncelli, John, and Robert S. Shaw. Healing from Childhood Abuse: Understanding the Effects, Taking Control to Recover. ABC-CLIO,
Exposure to violence in the first years of life brings about helplessness and terror which can be attributed to the lack of protection received by the parent. The child can no longer trust their parent as a protector (Lieberman 2007). This lack of trust early in life can bring about serious problems later in life, as there is no resolution to the first psychosocial crisis, trust vs. mistrust. For these children exposed to domestic violence, the imaginary monsters that children perceive are not only symbolic representations or a dream. The monsters that children who witness domestic violence have to deal with carry the reflection of their parents. Children who witness domestic violence face a dilemma because the children’s parents are at their most frightening exactly when the child needs them the most. The security of the child is shatter...
At first the relationship between a father and his son can be perceived as a simple companionship. However, this bond can potentially evolve into more of a dynamic fitting relationship. In The Road The Man and his son have to depend on one another because they each hold a piece of each other. The Man holds his sons sense of adulthood while the son posses his father’s innocence. This reliance between the father and son create a relationship where they need each other in order to stay alive. “The boy was all that stood between him and death.” (McCarthy 29) It is evident that without a reason to live, in this case his son, The Man has no motivation to continue living his life. It essentially proves how the boy needs his father to love and protect him, while the father needs the boy to fuel ...
Abuse can happen to anyone, at any age, at any time. This is repetitive acts of behavior of wanting to maintain power and have control over someone whether it be through childhood, adolescents, or adulthood. This subject is sensitive as it impacts so many different people around the world. The topic of abuse is not just a family matter, it comes in all forms, such as sexual, emotional, and physical. Abuse is accompanied by the long term emotional tolls, especially on children because their brains are still developing and can take abuse harder than others. One question to ask, is how does one overcome abuse? As children and adolescents develop, how do they function emotionally and physically? These traumatic experiences that happen through