The Challenges of Love

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Being loved is a great form of happiness and challenge. This essay examines the challenges of love through various sociological perspectives. These sociological perspectives include defining the boundary between love and infatuation, attachment styles, problems associated with love, and dynamic changes in the course of getting married.

A man’s profession of love to a woman when at first sight, is considered as an infatuation. Love is different with infatuation. It can be hard to decipher between love and infatuation because they both evoke “a strong, positive feeling toward others” (99). According to Betty Yorsburg, sociologist and author of Family Realities, love exists when three factors are present: physical attraction, intimacy and commitment. Infatuation differs with love because the feelings are only driven by physical attraction. Physical attraction “is a feeling of very strong passion toward another person. This is grounded, ultimately, on the biological sex drive and the need to gratify this drive.” (102) For love to exist between two people, it needs more than just physical attraction to each another. There have to be intimacy and commitment. Commitment is characterized by “a conscious decision to maintain a relationship temporarily or for life.” (103) Intimacy is “a feeling of deep attachment, bondedness, closeness and warmth toward another person.” (100)

The way that one develops intimacy with another person is influence by one’s attachment styles. There are three different attachment styles: secure, anxious/ambivalent and avoidant. Each of these attachment styles are shaped by an early emotional experiences. When a child has a warm, supportive, and responsive relationship with his or her parents, the ...

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...er a great deal; and feel they are good friends.” (125) Secondly, they should have similar backgrounds, levels of education and approval from family and friends regarding their union. Third, their attachment style should not be greatly mismatched. Lastly, it would help if both partners are religious and regular church attendees because it promotes faithfulness and commitment in a marriage.

In conclusion, love is a challenge. One must understand oneself in terms of attachment style so that one can learns to develop an intimate and committed relationship with another person. Love is also a challenge in the way that one needs to find someone that is physically appealing and shared similar values and expectations. Otherwise someone will get heartbroken. Although today people’s attitude toward marriage is changing, people still believes that love brings happiness.

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