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The Anatomy of Abuse
While this paper cannot be a definitive guide to the nature of the abuser, the victims relationship with the abuser and societies part in encouraging gender bias, I hope it will add to the pool of knowledge. It is my hope that, at least in a small way, this paper will be an aid towards helping us all understand the nature of domestic abuse and those who perpetrate or encourage it.
George Rolph. London 2004.
The abusers -- Actors in disguise.
First and foremost abusers are actors. It makes no difference what gender the abusive personality is, their primary skill is to emulate normal behaviour in order to disguise their own condition.
I have spoken to many victims of abuse who say that the person they met and fell in love with “gradually changed” into a monster. This is often one of the most confusing and distressing aspects of abuse from the victims point of view. It is also a situation that the abuser will exploit with varying degrees of vicious skill. While it is impossible to be specific on these subjects in every case, careful observation and research have uncovered certain general consistencies I want to discuss here. The question is; what is going on in the abusers mind that causes them to suddenly, or gradually, become abusive to their new partner?
It appears that the abusive personality has learned, by observation and by mimicry of those around them, how to give every appearance of normality and stability for often quite extended periods of time. This means that they are able to convince new partners that they are really charming, wonderful people who should be trusted and are worthy of love and care. This act is easy to maintain in certain social situations and where the abuser has minimal contact with others in an average day. For example, in a work situation where he/she will be in contact with others for a maximum of eight hours per day. Another social situation may be one of casual friendships made in pubs and clubs. Under these conditions the actor (abuser) need only be convincing as a normal person for a minimum amount of time. This is why many friends of the abuser find it hard to believe that the person they think they know could be capable of such barbarity within a long term relationship. In the case of female abusers, this difficulty is compounded by social and political myths that see females only as victi...
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Men and boys are subjected to massive amounts of prejudice in everything from education provision; medical cancer research (breast versus testicular for example); housing provision; Divorce; the right to bring up their children alone; hugely insulting articles; newspaper stories and books; job security issues as a result of so-called “positive” discrimination; discriminatory advertising on the television; hate speech; political discrimination; legal rights and censorship of the male point of view in the media. If men complain about this they are ridiculed and called whiners sometimes by other so-called men in the media but, most often, by radical feminist media spokesmen. This prejudice has led to an explosion of single mothers and the most confused and damaged generation of children our country has ever known. Will someone please tell me the benefits of this utopian radical feminist, left wing view of modern society?
* For a great cautionary tale of statistics and their manipulation go to this page on the Web: http://www.ifeminists.net/introduction/editorials/2004/0324.html
Copyright © George Rolph. April 2004
Founder of No More Silence.
Contact: grolph(@)no-more-silence.org
Almost as if they were to be trained as an animal. Second, socioeconomic status was a key factor in abusive relationships. Lower income women are proven to be more frequently victims of domestic violence than wealthier women. Situations where the male partner is underemployed or unemployed, he’s not seeking employment, or they are residing in a poor neighborhood all can have an impact of on abusive relationships. Third, some batterers were abused themselves. Here, batterers were abused during their upbringing whether it be physical, verbal, or sexually abused. They may have also witnessed domestic violence as a part of their childhood. From here, being abusive was embedded in their mind. They were confused about a healthy relationship. Using violence as a means of power and control was the way of life. Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter as an adult. Fourth, race was another factor when being abusive. Black women seem to be more disrespectful towards men and talk out of line resulting in abuse. Black women also worry about the repercussions of reporting domestic violence. A lot of abusive relationships go
Parameswari, B. (2015). Domestic Violence and Child Abuse. IOSR Journal Of Humanities And Social Science, 20(2), 56-59. Retrieved from http://www.iosrjournals.org/iosr-jhss/papers/Vol20-issue2/Version-3/I020235659.pdf
Joel Best’s Damned Lies and Statistics is a book all about recognizing statistics that are legitimate and others that are really quite horrible. The goal of this book is not that the average every day person be able to read a statistical table from a scholarly journal, but rather that anyone could personally value a statistic he or she may come across in a newspaper article or on a news program. Best was essentially effective in achieving his goal; however, he was effective to the point of overdoing his job of showing that there are bad statistics which give readers cause to evaluate them outside of hearing them on the news.
... own childhood; no matter it are security and nurturing or abandonment and neglect, guidance and respect, or abuse and disdain. Not only the man becomes psychologically or physically abusive, but he is also aggressive towards his partner whenever he feels that his experience of rejection and consecutive disruption cannot be soothed by the defence that he mounted. Those people with a history of neglect or abuse, they usually not able to have confident in their partners whereby they perceive their partners as enemies instead of allies. These abusive relationships are often repeatable becoming more intense as if the man is riding on a rollercoaster ride. The rejection-abusive cycle is considered complete when the man felt he is not appreciated as his unrealistic expectation on relationships is not fulfilled - closeness and intimacy, in other words, further rejection.
Stark (2006) would suggest that thirty years of research has failed to produce a consensus as to what constitutes a case of domestic violence considering that 90% of women who report the abuse have no physical injuries. Methods of coercive control do not meet the criminological viewpoint rather, control extends to financial, emotional, and psychological aspects of subjugating the partner thus no physical violence occurs. If only violent means are reported, then the reported number of victims would perhaps change thus creating a more gender symmetrical pattern. Until operational definitions are defined throughout the disciplines with consistency then there will continue to be discrepancies and opposing views. However, integrative theories of feminist views are being explored which investigate the intersection of not only male dominance as a form of oppression but the use of race, class, national origin, age, sexual orientation, and disability and their impact on intimate partner violence as stated by McPhail and colleagues
An abused woman is always faced with a number of different choices from which she may consider, with regards to seeking help or ending the relationship with a variety of alternatives, the woman knows each decision involves a variety of risks. Time after time, the common question arises, “why doesn’t she just leave?” This question can be answered by analyzing the psychological effects domestic abuse has on women. Many women are unable to cope with the emotional and psychological stress of domestic abuse and resort to violence and extre...
In this paper I will be telling you many different forms of domestic violence. I will include the physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, spiritual abuse, economic abuse, social abuse, and emotional abuse. I will also describe the "cycle of violence", teen dating violence, and why women stay with an abusive partner.
“Women have throughout history been the most victimized by someone they knew (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence pg. 1) Most abusers usually start out with emotional abuse because it makes the target emotionally weaker and less likely to fight back. It also probably has the most different ways to inflict abuse. Characteristics of emotional abuse usually consist of putting her down, making her feel bad about herself, name calling, mind games, humiliation, making her feel guilty, and think she’s crazy. A more specific action would be using the children to make her feel guilty about them (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence pg.2).
Women stay in the abusive relationships because our society puts an enormous pressure on them. Fear, shame, oppression and radical change push women to choose life in misery and stay silent. Moreover man creates unequal atmosphere around women and by that show their dominance and supremacy. It is hard for a woman in the abusive relationship, who was already weakened by her abuse to overcome all those fears, to gather her strength and only to start a fight, with only power she has left.
Women who have witnessed domestic abuse may turn out to be too passive in their relationships with men, which can shape their mental state and affect other aspects of their lives such as careers. If women grew up where their mothers, or other women figures, were physically abused, they may have percepted them as weak or fearful of men. Women can grow to adapt to this persona being that it was what they associated women in their lives with. Women who have this mindset will allow men to do whatever they please to them. Whether these men decide to hit, disrespect, or degrade them in any other way, these women would allow it because that is what they are use to. As unfortunate as this may be, this can hurt themselves mentally (Edleson). When women accept abuse, whether it be physical or emotional or mental, it scars them for life. For example, if a women were to be pushed to the floor everytime she does something wrong, she will learn to be fearful of making mistakes. This can hurt not only women’s relationships but their friendships or careers as well. If women were not able to stand up for themselves, friends or employers can take advantage of them or disrespect them, resulting women being miserable in every aspect of their
An Abusive Relationships is defined as the “systematic pattern of behaviors in a relationship that are used to gain and/or maintain power and control over another” (Huston, 2010). The forms of abuse range from emotional to financial and each has an everlasting effect on the victim. An abusive relationship also has a discrete effect on the mind of the victim; they experience many psychology difficulties pre and post the abuse. Yet despite all these catastrophic consequences to both the mind and body caused by the constant abuse, many of the victims tend to stay in the relationships. The victims deal with emotional challenges on a daily basis, they are wounded on both a mental and physical level, and have to deal with the constant pressure from both society and peers. These issues are well hidden in our society and it barely makes the news headlines thus an individual is never able to figure out why one would choose to stay. Abuse can occur due to many reasons, either abuser is facing difficulties at work or they have a psychological problem controlling them to be over possessive. Yet it is not only the abusers because victims also develop problems that prevent them from breaking free of the relationship.
Abuse has become so common that some people do not realize they are being abused. It is important that this topic is studied because there are many gaps of knowledge to what all an abusive relationship can entail. The goal is to help someone somewhere get out of an abusive relationship before its too late. Whether its emotional or physical abuse, neither is healthy for a person to maintain in. So seeking relationship advice from outside sources, such as popular press articles may be a usual for tool for people who are looking for insight as long as they know to check up on the research involved in the article. This paper will compare and contrast the findings from the article I have chosen to the scholarly research that has been conducted on abusive relationships.
Gender-based violence has been recognized as a large public health problem as well as a violation of human rights worldwide. One out of three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused in another way at least once in her life (www.infoforhealth.org). The abuser is usually a member of the family, introducing the difficult problem in that the abuse usually happens behind closed doors, and is often viewed by cultural norms and legal systems as a family matter rather than a crime.
The male-coerced typology involves a passive woman who abuses due to an abusive male partner or a male-female couple who both equally abuse (West & Friedman,
As professional athletes remind us on a weekly basis, domestic violence is a social problem which continues to plague the nation. Through stricter law enforcement, improved hospital reporting techniques, and nationwide education and counseling, this problem can be reduced. Domestic violence has many different names such as, family violence, battering, wife beating, and domestic abuse. All these terms refer to the same thing, abuse by marital, common law, or a dating partner in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence is not limited to physical beating. It is any behavior that is intended to overpower and control another human being through the use of humiliation, fear, and physical or verbal assault. Domestic violence is a very important issue in today’s society because it has such a profound negative affect on the abused, mentally and physically. Verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. Verbal abuse is words that attack or injure an individual’s self-image, which eventually shatters one’s self-esteem. In this paper, I will discuss the many kinds of abuses against women, the reasons why women stay in these relationships, and possible solutions to diminish or reduce the problems of domestic violence.