Stuck in Love

1593 Words4 Pages

They don’t tell you how much you’ll fall until you do. The collapsing feeling, the absolute captivity, the apparent numbness and euphoric feeling of love. You go through the different stages either epically or not at all. You skip past the bullshit and reveal your true self or you get stuck in it and can’t get through. I’m in the room and I look around only to find my significant other. What had he been doing here? I panicked and I darted out of his view. I stumbled into the bathroom and collected myself. Opened the medicine cabinet and swished some mouthwash around. I looked in the mirror at my bloodshot eyes and wished I could just fall asleep and stay inside forever. I fell to the floor and slowly drifted and then I left. I often left and I liked it that way. Checking out of life one whiskey shot at a time. I was found wrapped around porcelain. He found me. And he never knew why I was there. My boyfriend Jack carried me away. As I glanced over his shoulder I glared at the source. The source of my fatality. I hadn’t felt alive in a really long time. But I didn’t want to. He stared back and winked at me. “Jesus fucking Christ Jack can you maybe be a little gentler.” I said ferociously. “Can I maybe stop finding you trashed in the bathroom at every party you go to?” “I don’t know baby the bathroom is just so much nicer.” I said grimly with a hint of sarcasm. “Besides, look what I scored in creepy Tom’s bathroom” Jack stared at me as I slurred my words, “Sedatives my love, if you keep acting like an a - hole you won’t get any.” Jack was silent with a slight grin on his face. I told him I was hungry and we drove to the nearest fast food restaurant. I just really needed some mini churros in my belly more than anything. I stare... ... middle of paper ... ...ly and I guess he showed up. The morning came and Jack asked me how I felt so I started crying and begging for forgiveness, but he just walked away and said it was too late. I had nothing. I lost my very best friend and I didn’t want to be without him. He was always right there with me through the worst days and the best and he loved me for me. Flaws and all. I left my house that day with a note in my back pocket. A goodbye letter to my dearest Jack. I was coked out and drunk as fuck and I wanted to tell Jack that I was sorry one last time and that it was okay to move on and I would be fine and all of this other shit that wasn’t true. I started my car and the song “Kelsey” by Metro Station started blaring and I almost broke the nob trying to turn it down. I flew down the street swiping a few trashcans as I went and when I got on the freeway everything went white.

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