Speech On Self Acceptance

Acceptance means embracing what we already have, rather than wishing for what we cannot have. When we accept harsh realities, we find ourselves more at peace and able to experience life more deeply with self acceptance. Even so, acceptance must be guided by our own judgement– learning how to tell the difference between what we can and cannot change about ourselves.

For as long as I could remember I would falsely claim to have a crush on the 4th grade “dream boy.” I felt out extremely out of place, because I didn’t have any sort of attraction for boys yet instead for girls. I assumed everyone experienced what I was experiencing, yet it was never spoken of between my peers. Since it was never spoken of I never mentioned it to anyone I knew.

We finally got into the topic of homosexuality. We read many passages containing proof homosexuality is a sin, but one quote stuck with me it was 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 it states “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” On the ride back home I could hear my ears ringing due to the silent atmosphere. I was severally ashamed and disgusted with myself. I can reckon what my family’s reaction would be; it’s safe to assume it wouldn’t be the most welcoming and friendly. I was horrified I couldn't breath, it felt as if someone was choking me. My heart was racing and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and wait for someone to save me. But no one would, no one was going to be there for

I so deeply desire to adjust who I was. The only way I could change myself is through self punishment. I so heavily relied on self harm to change who I truly am. Punishment quickly shifted to relieve. Self harm so became vital to my daily lifestyle. I silently twisted the lock on the doorknob, and doubling checking no one could come in to the unsettling sight that was soon to unfold. I brought a razor with me not a kitchen knife, therefore I didn’t seem the slightest bit suspicious. I disinfected the razor so the dried blood couldn't make it difficult to carve. As I stepped into the bathtub, I turned on the water so it would be room temperature. I would violently hack off small chunks of my thighs and legs with the cold razor. The warm blood would turn the water into a soft cherry pink. Then after 3 minutes my I was finally stable and I would realize what I was doing and I would stop. After showering I would douse rubbing alcohol on my legs in fear. I bandaged up my legs and headed off to bed. If anyone ever noticed my scars I would tell them it was my cats. Everyone believed me, no one ever