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Pre marital cohabitation
An essay on why couples should live together before marriage
Cohabitation vs marriage debate
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In the course of being in a relationship, there are certain decisions you have to make to be able to achieve the main goal, which is ultimately marriage. One momentous decision is whether or not you feel the obligation to cohabit with your significant other before marriage. The majority of people in this generation will view this as the norm, but their elders might view this action quite controversial. I believe that couples should not live together before marriage because this increases the pressure of marital commitment, causes premarital over-familiarity and may cause undue negative social stigma.
When you choose to cohabit with your significant other prior to marriage, you might begin to feel the pressure of marital commitment. The reason
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People like parents or elders. The reason for this is because during their time this type of action was seen controversial. According to Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage? “In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million” (Schulten) This shows that older generations would not agree with this chosen lifestyle. This causes relationship problems because you will have your family disapproving of what you are doing. By the couple’s family disapproving of it, it can be a great burden on both parties, which can literally break a relationship. No one in their right mind wants their parents disapproval of their relationship. All of this, of course, follows through with religion. There are different religions and they all have different beliefs, but one common pressing topic is marriage. Most religions are very strict about being married before moving in together. By having such a strong religious background this can then disrupt a couple’s choice of living together.
I believe that couples should not live together before marriage because, quite frankly, most couples aren’t ready for such a momentous step. They think they are, they believe they are, but usually the frail, idealistic mindset of a fairly new couple prevent them from viewing the reality that their partner is far from perfect. Living with someone forces a person to come to terms with that. A couple should only do so when their relationship has been tried and tested and they are realistic about each other’s faults--at the
In the article “Grounds for Marriage: How Relationships Succeed or Fail” by Arlene Skolnick talks a lot about how the attitudes towards marriages now a days is much different then what peoples attitudes have been in the past. The article talks about how there are two parts of every marriage “the husband’s and the wife’s”. This article touches on the affects cohabitation, and how cohabitation is more likely to happen among younger adults. This article talks about how the younger adults are more inclined to cohabitate before marriage, and that currently the majority of couples that are interring in to marriage have previously lived together. The article stats that some of the Possible reasons for couples to live together before marriage might include shifting norms
According to the Bible, a man must leave his parents and be united with his wife forever. The bible never said that a man must leave his parents, find a woman, cohabit with her, and finally marry her. It is true that certain Christians cohabitate before marriage and are still able to have a divorce-free marriage. However, couple to reduce their chance of divorce must follow the Bible and wait until they become married to live together. By doing so, they will be able to see the real value of marriage, really think about if they really want to marry their partner. As an illustration, a Christian who had followed the Bible rules said, “My wife was a great treasure which I had to patiently wait for” (Sargent). Finally, people should avoid cohabitation to respect the Bible
Rindfuss RR, VandenHeuvel A. 1990. Cohabitation: a precursor to marriage or an alternative to being single? Pop. Dev. Rev. 16:703 26
Cohabitation is “to live together as if married, usually without legal or religious sanction; to live together in an intimate relationship” (Dictionary.com). In the past thirty years, there have been several changes in trends of American families. Cohabitation of males and females has been happening earlier and more frequently resulting in it being viewed as normal (Waite 19). The median age of first marriage has risen approximately by six years (Morris). Between late 1940s and early 1960s the amount of women who have cohabitated by age twenty-five increased by thirty percent. The increase in cohabitation correlates with a decline in marriage (Waite 20). You might say that couples who were already living together no longer felt the need to get married because they were already living together. **Cohabitation can lead to intimacy, so if a couple is living together before marriage they are likely to be intimate before marriage. At one point in time, cohabitation and intimacy would have been unacceptable before marriage but now they are seen as the norm. In A Brave New World, they mock that at a time, children having sex would have been frowned upon. “…erotic play between children had been regarded as abnormal (there was a roar of laughter); and not only abnormal, actually immoral (no!): and had therefore been rigorously suppressed” (Huxley 34). People are thankfully arrested today for crazy
This societal acceptance has made it easier for couples to live together without being married. Many of these men and women decide to live together because they consider the cohabitation a "trial marriage." They fe...
According to the research most couples inter into cohabitation because it allows them to postpone their entrance into what would be considered traditional gender-specific marital roles in a family environment. This couples may later either evolve into marriage or break up their cohabitation status. Both marriage and cohabitation are considered "romantic coresidential unions," however, researchers have pressed forward a belief that people that enter into cohabitation are a select group of highly liberal individuals. Couples enter cohabitation because it is a tentative association that allows them to accommodate their specific values and beliefs into this romantic coresidential union.
...riage only because I strongly believe in self-sustainability. I want to travel, succeed, and progress in my career without the help of a “significant other”. I want to have fun in my life and experience all there is to experience. If I decide to get married, what happens when ten years and two kids down the road, I realize I want to go my own way or try something different? What happens if I reach a point where sex with my partner is non-existent and we can no longer stand each other, for lack of better words, disgust each other—then what? If that were to ever happen, I would want the freedom to explore my own options and discover what else might work better for me. With the truth that more than half of marriages are resulting in divorce, and as much as I would like to believe that I am an exception to this number, I would rather not put myself in that position.
It is not a new thought that today’s young Americans are facing issues, problems and difficult decisions that past generations never had to question. In a world of technology, media, and a rough economy, many young adults in America are influenced by a tidal wave of opinions and life choices without much relevant advice from older generations. The Generation Y, or Millennial, group are coming of age in a confusing and mixed-message society. One of these messages that bombard young Americans is the choice of premarital cohabitation. Premarital cohabitation, or living together without being married (Jose, O’Leary & Moyer, 2010), has increased significantly in the past couple of decades and is now a “natural” life choice before taking the plunge into marriage. Kennedy and Bumpass (2008) state that, “The increase in cohabitation is well documented,such that nearly two thirds of newlyweds have cohabited prior to their first marriage”(as cited in Harvey, 2011, p. 10), this is a striking contrast compared with statistics of our grandparents, or even parents, generations. It is such an increasing social behavior that people in society consider cohabitation “necessary” before entering into marriage. Even more, young Americans who choose not to cohabitate, for many different reasons, are looked upon as being “old-fashioned”, “naive”, or “unintelligent”. This pressure for young people to cohabitate before marriage is a serious “modern-day” challenge; especially when given research that states, “... most empirical studies find that couples who cohabited prior to marriage experience significantly higher odds of marital dissolution than their counterparts who did not cohabit before marriage”, stated by Jose (2010) and colleagues (as c...
There are three reasons that cohabitation before marriage is beneficial; it allows couples to learn one another and as a team forms an identity, decide if marriage is for you, and lowers the divorce rate.
There are many advantages and disadvantages in living together before marriage. Today there are many couples living together before marriage. Sometimes these kinds of relationships 'living together before marriage' end up with success and sometimes they are unsuccessful. Some of the advantages of living together before marriage are such as getting to know your partner, learning about one's abilities if he/she can satisfy your expectations and more. Also, there are some disadvantages in living together before marriage and they are such as religious and family values, parenting problems and more. I think there are more advantages then disadvantages in living together before marriage, because sometimes disadvantages in this kind of relationship are avoidable.
However, many people doubt the fact as to whether or not to live together with their future partners. Some of them think about it as an effective way to have a chance to get to know a potential husband/spouse. Meanwhile, others completely deny the idea due to their disagreements with certain religious beliefs. Wydick suggested that, “the increase in premarital cohabitation is a product of a general movement within western society away from traditional ideas about marriage, divorce, birth control, abortion, women’s rights, and a host of other related issues” (4). Consequently, now people are more open-minded, meaning that they accept the idea of pre-cohabitation mainly as a social institution.
Has the value of marriage become obsolete to the up and coming generations? With the decline in respect amongst individuals, increasing divorce rates, a decrease in moral values, infidelity rates, and lack of communication amid people, are we setting our future generations up for marital failure? The generations of today are being shown that marriage is something that they are expected to do rather than what they are meant to treasure. Marriage was once revered as a sacred union between two individuals in which they honored and cherished the vows in which they chose to recite to one another, values our current society may be lacking.
Everyone one has a different background weather it’s a matter of principles, religion, or culture. Marriage is a legal union between two people who promise to love and care for each other for life. There’s a big process that comes to play when you make a decision of marrying your significant other. In the generality of the marriage process everyone has I different perspective of getting to know our partners. The biggest of them all being, if living together before marriage is better than marriage first. My personal belief and principles are that marriage should come first before moving in with the person. You should be sure that your partner is the one you want to share life with, make sure that your comfortable around them enough to marry them, and that you prove you both have enough respect for each other to be sure that what you got is real enough to marry them before moving in.
Marriage is a complicated topic and even more complicated when it ends in divorce. When entering a sacred union, such as a marriage, the person is entering uncharted water that can end up in happiness or divorce. For females in the 1900s, it became more of a chore than happiness. From an early age, the female mind has been trained, by their parents and society, to automatically take the role of a mother and a wife. Many married women understood that by marrying a man, they would have to understand the need of their husband as well as being the proper wife. However, married female did not expect their husbands to go to war in 1914 through 1918 and possibly again in 1939 through 1945. Due to the wars, some females became a widow and some marriages
In today’s society, a majority of young couples are taking the opposite route when it comes to preparing for marriage. Instead of waiting till their newlyweds to move in together, many couples have decided to move in together. They believe that by living together, the divorce rate is decreased significantly. This idea of living together before marriage baffles a lot of people who are pro and against the idea. Yet, when you think about it for a moment, it does kind of make sense. Compared to previous generations, millennials would rather live together to decide whether marriage is in their future. There have been arguments for and against this idea of couples moving in together.