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Teenage midlife crisis
Mental and emotional effects of divorce
Divorce emotional effects
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The Stab I am like any sixteen-year-old girl, with her ups and downs. I have been through many events in my life that have been hard, but I have overcome them. I believe one of the hardest events that have happened to me was when my family separated. We were all close together, or at least that is how I felt. It had all happened very fast and there are parts of me that could not understand what had happened. We never really talked and explain to each other what had really caused us to become distant. I just felt hate for everyone who had turned their back on us. As time went by, the hate I felt turned into nothing, which was good somehow. My life is a stab wound that has healed but has left a scar behind. All of this started at my uncle’s house, my dad’s brother, sometime in June about six years ago. My whole family was there, my grandparents, my uncles, my aunts, my cousins, my mom and dad, my brother, and I, when all of this …show more content…
My aunt had sent cops to our house to arrest my mother. We never opened the door. The next day my mom went to some police department. She found that my aunt had put a restriction order against my mom. My mom had also gotten probation. My aunt had accused her of Domestic Violence. I thought it was foolish of my aunt to press this kind of charges against my mom, since they did not live together. I hated my aunt. I knew that both my mom and my aunt were guilty for what had happened, but my aunt had gone too far. My aunt was not injure except for the slap my mother gave her. After that, my dad’s brother and his wife did not wanted us to go to their house. Even though the problem started at their house, we thought nothing was going to change with them, but we were wrong. After the fight they did not talk to us. My mom, my dad, my brother, and I felt so much resentment at them for turning their back on us. I did not know how to treat the wound and it hurt so
Most of my kindergarten to fourth grade years were spent in Peoria. We were a mixed family; my mother, sister, and I, with Gary Toubeau (stepfather), Tyler (stepbrother), and Michelle (stepsister). Gary had only seen a mixed family, whenever he has to choose between his children or his step children. Tyler abused this and the fact that he was the oldest, usually resulting in Tyler’s way many times. Michelle was different from the other two. Michelle, also known as, “Showie,” would spend more time with her “mixed family members” rather than her “real family.” One day, my mom had enough of Gary’s abusive treatment, when he actually physically touched her (as if he were going to hit her). The divorce ended bitterly, as Gary had found a
As a small 5th grader not much sense came out of my parents divorce. Lots of confusion mixed in with an underlying sadness that I was too shy to show because I couldn’t stand the thought of making my mother cry. But it hurt. I took these emotions and bottled them up hopes that things would go back to normal
It was August 8th of 2013 when my dad got a call from my Aunt Theresa. She urged him to come over to her house because she had devastating news. The car ride to her house was quiet. The weather was gloomy, the sky was filled with dark cumulus clouds.When we pulled up to my Aunt’s house, the adults were organized into a small circle. My uncles were supporting my grandma, however, I thought nothing of it. My parents had told me to go inside because they had a matter to attend to. I went inside to hang out with my cousins. I saw them a couple days before, but the feeling of happiness never subsides when I see them.
Of course, as any other young girl, I didn’t really know what real pain was. I mean the type of pain when losing someone, more specifically, having someone taken away from you. I remember everything like it had just happened this morning. Long story short, I had my dad pulled away from my arms due to immigration issues. I wasn’t easy going through that. I had to go to school with a smile on my face and let no one know what had just happened. Up to this day, I get choked up just thinking about it. It wasn’t easy then, and it's still not easy today. With all the pain going around, I never stopped to realize I wasn’t the only one who had experienced that. As I got older, I became aware that many of my fellow classmates had the same thing done to them, sometimes even worse.
My parents got married on July 24, 2009. “We had the feeling, as children, that we played in a mine field, where a headless footfall could trigger an explosion” (90). My brother and I definitely felt like we were in a minefield when our parents were together. When they were not sober the littlest things would set them off. The poison that they both consumed was not their only motivation to fight. Their marriage was cursed by 17 previous years of cheating, recklessness and the urge of revenge. The Marriage failed to last one year. My father also found a new girlfriend, and eventually wife, not even three days after my mom and him split
After understanding, and coping the problem a person can deal with their problem at hand by perhaps writing it down or writing about who hurt them, according to Melanie Tonia Evans, “this is self-recognition that will assist you in healing and reclaiming your right to perfect love, success and happiness.” A person can feel as if they were abandoned, unwanted, unloved, or forgotten. The most important thing though, is to stay positive about themselves at all costs. When a person loves themselves and is happy with their life it can make everything much easier and healing can begin. “Once you have validated and learned what you can from the experience, you can let it go and move forward. This won’t happen all at once. Those imprints are still there, and they need to be replaced with healthy, positive ones,” (Dania Vanessa.) The dysfunctional experiences that a person has from their childhood can pose as a learning experience that shaped someone into who they are now, from the hardships they
Due to domestic violence’s widespread effects, most individuals either retain, or know an individual who retains, personal experience with domestic violence. In both my personal experience and my mother’s, I preserve three distinct experiences of domestic violence. My first exposure to domestic violence occurred when I was four years old, as my parents reached the breaking point in their marriage. I witnessed physical and emotional abuse in my parent’s marriage as they fought over their three children and their marriage. The physical abuse represents the first, and only, memory I retain of my parents being married. Because I never witnessed my parent’s happily married, it affected my childhood through making me feel as if I must pick a side. I felt that my childhood did not represent a family, but rather a continuous battle over who retained more power over us children and the resources. I deemed relationships as degrading and selfish due to the
I later found a family member that has been helping me go through everything I have been going through. That person is my Aunt. She is being patient, kind, and so loving. I am not going to walk around feeling like I don't deserve to be here. I am taking a stand for who I am. I don't care what people think. I am set all of these burdens loose when I found music. I really been focusing on how to let anger go and this is how I did I weight lifted and then I sang, I play my saxophone and clarinet, I let friend help me. I am know a strong independent person that refuses to take any harsh comments or bad looks from anyone. I will stand up for what I believe in. This is where I am at in my life. This is my story. I am proud of who I have become. Always remember take a stand and if we work together there is this saying that LIFE GETS BETTER
Now that I am in the counseling program I have become aware of the dysfunctional family that I have grew up in. Growing up I remember my father was never around. There is a memory I will never forget it seems blurry but I remember my parents arguing and becoming angry. I went into a room and when I came out I saw my father’s hand bleeding. My mother was holding a kitchen knife and she had cut his hand. Since my father was hardly around we never had family trips or family time together. He would spend his weekends drinking or going out with his friends. I have another memory that stands out. I remember I was in the back seat of the car and my mom was dropping of my dad somewhere. They were arguing the whole way over there, once we got to the destination my dad got off and walked out. I can imagine this affected my mother as a woman because her needs were not being
I was just getting back from an extremely fun vacation with my family when this all started. I was close to my friend’s aunt, Brenda. I’ve known her for about 6 years. We have all made great memories together. However, everything changed, for the worse. I’m not sure what inspired her hate for me, but it happened fast. I was confused and distraught about the situation. It only became worse when my friend told me Brenda was hateful towards me. Also, Brenda was calling me particularly offensive names. This only made me feel worse. Regrettably, the situation was getting worse, and I wasn’t doing anything about it, until now. Now, I was courageous and brave. I decided to fight against the pain instead of running away. I know myself, and I know I’m not a horrible person because one person hates me. I tell myself what she says doesn’t matter and isn’t true. To completely overcome this situation, I took matters into my hands. I cut her out of my life. This took a plethora of bravery. I was terrified to do it, but I did. Gratefully, it made me feel like my own hero. Now, it’s simply a
It had come to the attention of my family that I had some sort of psychological problem and something had to be done. I was always labeled as a shy and quiet kid, and like my family I had thought nothing more of my behavior. However, now it had become something more obvious. I had told my parents the kinds of problems I was having. Basically I didn't want to talk to anyone or to be anywhere near anyone I didn't know. I didn't really want to leave my house for any reason for fear that I might have to talk to someone. I was so critical and scrutinizing in relation to myself that I couldn't even enter into a conversation. Everyone seems to have a part of themselves that lends itself to thoughts of pessimism and failure, but mine was something that was in the forefront of my mind at all times. Something telling me that everything I did was a failure, and that anything I ever did would not succeed. Through discussion with my family it was decided that I should move out of my parents house to a place where I could find treatment and get a job. I was to reside with my sister Lisa, her partner Brynn, and their Saint Bernard in Greensboro.
Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt like everything was just dumped on you? I did, and undoubtedly it happened just as I came to school at State University. That saying, “When it rains, it pours,” just seemed to fit me perfectly. Within a two week period one of my friends from high school committed suicide, my grandma went in the hospital, and my boyfriend broke up with me. Yet, from these experiences in my life, I grew, more than I have ever grown before. This is why I am writing about it. Although, everyone goes through hard times, there were not many people out there who related to me. That is why it was hard to get help when it was needed. Maybe someone can learn from my experience and be just as strong as I was.
As a child we lost things as a family like our house. I had to grow up quickly with some of the hardships that arose and I think I lost trust in the adults around me. I then as an adult have lost boyfriends and jobs. If I were to dig deeper into my psyche I would say my reactions were always the same. I experienced emotional pain, more distrust, and a harder exterior. Things seem unfair like everything was out of my control. But when I examine my situations a little differently now that I have gain more life experience, I think it was my outlook. Or how those thought were shaped as a child. Also in my adult years I lost two friends to death. One was an ex boyfriend who had immigrated to Canada after I immigrated to New York. Even thought we were no longer romantically involved we still stayed in touch as friends. He was announced as missing in the news reports and three weeks later he was found and the cause of death was determined a suicide. This was upsetting. I felt sadness and a loss. More importantly I felt I was entitled to my loss as it was a personal relationship I had to him, unlike my grandmother’s which removed me from the situation
February twenty-third 2010 was just a regular ordinary day. I was on my way to class on this cold February afternoon, when my phone rung. It was my cousin on the other end telling me to call my mom. I could not figure out what was wrong, so I quickly said okay and I hung up and called my mom. When my mom answered the phone I told her the message but I said I do not know what is wrong. My mom was at work and could not call right away, so I took the effort to call my cousin back to see what was going on. She told me that our uncle was in the hospital and that it did not look good. Starting to tear up I pull over in a fast food restaurant parking lot to listen to more to what my cousin had to say. She then tells me to tell my mom to get to the hospital as quickly as possible as if it may be the last time to see her older brother. My mom finally calls me back and when I tell her the news, she quickly leaves work. That after-noon I lost my Uncle.
At the age of 11, my parents decided to reunite, and this became my lifelong struggle with trust, mistrust and development of strength and courage to achieve my dreams and goals in life. My mother continued to work long, hard hours while my father golfed, gambled and drank, to what most people would consider “the extreme”. During my school years, I ran our household while my mom worked. I made sure the house was clean and dinner was always on the table for my father, which left no time for a social life. My dad was abusive towards my mom and I would feel helpless as I listened from my room to him physically and mentally abusing her. After many years of not having the courage to help her, I finally at the age of 16 gave her an ultimatum. Either she leaves the abusive relationship or I would leave, so I would not have to endear the pain of it any longer.