School Days are the Happiest Days of your Life?

School Days are the Happiest Days of your Life?

When I was given this assignment, my initial reaction was this is

easy! Half an hours writing- homework complete. Fifteen minutes later

I find that it is incredibly difficult to sort out the jumble of

thoughts, memories and feelings, that are fighting each other in the

race to be the first to blot this pristine white page.(melodramatic,

but true)

I suppose I could take the easy way out, and write that looking back;

my school days were happy, carefree days. The sun always shone. I had

no real worries. Friends were plentiful and life was all about, fun,

fun, fun. Well I could, but that would entail not being completely

honest. I mean, certainly a not immodest percentage of school,

(compared with life today) was carefree but by no means all of it. My

over-riding recollections of school are the memories of never quite

fitting in; the never quite making it into the 'in crowd.' Not that I

wanted in, you understand. I wanted to be different (not another

lemming) just not so different that I stood out.

I blame my mother for that mentality for she drummed it into us all.

If I spoke the usual refrain," but all my friends are her response

was always." if your friend stuck her hand in the fire- would you do

it too?" Well the answer to that was no, and when you said so, mum

would smile and say," of course not love, you have your own mind.

You're not a lemming; don't be afraid to be different." I was left

feeling proud of myself for being 'different', but oh God, I still

wanted that denim jacket, or those Adidas trainers, or to stay out for

that extra half an hour; or the myriad of other 'things' that would

have enabled me to fit in. Money was always tight when I was at

school. With four kids to buy for - I feel mum used the lemming story

no us, just so she wouldn't have to say "I can't afford it." At

school, every deficit, both real and imagined between you and the 'in

crowd' made you insecure. It could be your haircut, shoes or even just

the number of pleats our gym skirt had. (Mine had none.) Plain skirts

were cheaper.

Positive Body Image, or lack of it in my case, was a major problem. I

went through school convinced that I was fat and ugly. Fat!? I was

only 81/2 stones! I would kill to be that weight again - and as for my