Schizophrenia Like Christ In The Wilderness Analysis

What is it having schizophrenia like for you?
What's schizophrenia like, its like Christ In the wilderness,when the devil tried to lure him to his side at least 75 percent of my times listening to bad voices tell me to kill myself,it’s worse at night. I watch out the windows for for others who hear and see like me because I met at least 3 others that hear the same thing So I figure there's more if they are weak in the mind,they will do what the voices say. Two main voices I hear are a man and a woman's voice both will start the day being your friend but by dusk will change to a evil entity. I hear them through birds trees breath from other people TV, radio ,phones and see faces in all shadows. I'm sure they are demonic,So I put my faith in

Jesus.

What were your first symptoms like?
My first symptoms,. I was alone,I was lonely. It was a beautiful day out warm about 4 or so,I was thinking to myself I wish I had a work mate because nobody would help me do my work . I Remember warm breeze, then a voice that said I'll be your friend Jason.you're too good to be here working alone, it was a female voice,kind of warm but scary.

Are you afraid to sleep? How do you handle getting a healthy amount of rest?
Do I sleep, yes it depends on the mood of the voices and What they say,s sometimes they are nice, to get on your good side,they say I'm an angel and let's be friends,let me tell you a secret,or something of this nature,and when they have you thinking that everything is OK, then you hear, you're a stupid F***ing n***er you’re gonna die tonight,they say they are spirits or Satan and God doesn't want you anymore,that not even King David who slew Goliath made it to
heaven and they will get me. so I pray constantly,because from the time I awake to the time I sleep the voices never stop not at all not for a minute,constantly telling you to kill yourself or something of a higher power is coming to collect what you owe them.

What are your dreams like, do you ever get the same reoccurring dreams?
The one surreal dream I get is a little pitch black creature that doesn't talk much, but when he does, it sounds like Freddy Kruger.It asks questions, but the eyes are kinda like two eyes looking the other direction not focused ,cockeyed with big razor sharp teeth and very attentive, kind of like being interrogated.

(In the book we read, the main character could not tell the difference between what is real and what is in his head).

Do you ever feel like you are not actually here like in a dream state? How can you tell what is real and what isn’t?
Reality at first was like a dream state.the voices take on every voice you ever heard. Mostly who you are in direct contact with, it’s hard to differentiate your mind from reality at first,but you become able to differentiate the voices in your mind and in your life. Your creativity dictates the length and depth of the story you hear because my mind is a storytellers, and they often lie which makes me believe it's demons.

Are you ever afraid that you won't be able to pay for the Medicine? What are your thoughts on the Insurance industry with regard to Mental Health Care?
No I don't worry about medicine. Medicine or any other alien entities in the body can make your mind weak. My medicine is low dosage when needed,my real
medicine us my faith in the Lord.

What's the hardest thing to get past during your daily routine?
The hardest thing is the two or three minute you wake up and don't hear voices then boom ,hey stupid n***a, or something like that where's your Jesus now; it's realizing that you'll hear that all day long until you fall

asleep.

If you are comfortable explaining it, what was your worst episode so far? How did you cope with it?
I cope I pray and put my faith in God, I know that he is my protector and a voice won't hurt you, physically,but like I said I talked to two to three people who heard the exact same thing I did,so I watch out for the ones that slip,and do the wrong thing if you know What I mean.

Do the girls know that you have schizophrenia? How did you / will you address it? Will you handle it differently with girls than you did with the boys? If so, why?
The girls don't know I went to the physiatrist to try to find out why I had voices and he said it was genetic,so I was worried about my children and if they were strong enough to withstand the bad voices strong in God is key,.it's like someone is whispering in both your ears at the same time or out of the TV behind the door on the roof even the cars that go by even speak,which makes you feel like everyone can hear your thoughts,but at the same time you can almost feel the bad spirits that didn't move on,to heaven or hell they sit and confound your every thought and action,they pry through your past to look at the bad things in life then hold them over you as leverage. There's no difference how I treat my girls or boys ,plain fact is there's demons and bad
spirits that are intertwined in this world,I don't act on any voice but the lessons I learned from
church and family,is my strength,I pass on one message that God loves you,Jesus is our Savior,and keep your faith, because demons and bad spirits will try to lead you away from Christ so keep away from the nonsense in this world; don't give anything or anyone leverage the will hurt you my son.