The idea of the family has gone through dynamic changes throughout time. Fortunately, literary works have been the constant reporter on this capricious idea. When hearing family, the majority of the populace might say it is defined as the typical, “mom, dad, brother, sister” default setup, however, this “accepted” precedent has been, respectfully, impugned. The reality is that it might not matter who makes up the family. How the “family” functions is what supersedes in importance. In some cases, friends can be more of a family than an actual family. Sometimes people wish they had a different family altogether. These people want to gravitate toward their perfect, "emotionally-formed family", which has most likely been engendered …show more content…
through superficial happiness, instead of their "natural" family where real pain and joy is experienced. Religious and societal groups have their own tenets regarding what makes up a family and how it should function. Even though these tenets are set, moral parameters do not seem to stop people from pursuing the type of family they want to be in. Boldness has shaped the modern “family”. Families today can have two dads, two moms, and of course one of each, however, the possibilities are without hindrance. Simply, families are made up of people, therefore, many combinations can make a family because there are many types of people, and lots of them. Questioning the assumed “biological leader governing biological progeny” style of family: Why is it a commonality that the family always consists of people connected by legalities or with similar genes? What does family really mean? Indubitably, family means different things to different people. Generally, quantitative features are less important than qualitative features. The quality of a family is more important than the amount of people in it. Is the typical large Italian “family” called “family” because a plethora of people lives together? The various relationships will determine if they are a true “family”. Now, a significant theme is familiarity. Family is what is familiar, not always familial, regardless of how pleasant or stressed things seem. On the other hand some could also seek a new “family” for those very reasons-vapidity or overstimulation. Regardless of how the family should be, structurally, there are elements that seem to be universal in successful families: love, protection or support, and sacrifice. Ultimately, family is a sacred institution, unaffected by, and indifferent to, legal statutes, and a purveyor of protection, love, and sacrifice, whether circumstances are idyllic or lugubrious. Love is a universal element. Love manifests in many forms- platonic, sensual, and parental or familial. Platonic love is essentially the epitome of what is called friendship. In Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants”, platonic love is shown in the relationship between the American, the girl, and the man. They loved each other through companionship. They communed with one another on an intellectual level. They cared for each other. Sensual love is another type of love that is typically found in marriage. Of course it is found in nonconjugal relationships as well. While Hemmingway’s story only has a glimpse of “love” in the “family”, the perfect precedent for love, specifically sensual love, is shown in Lydia Davis’ “Break it Down”. The story is about a man who tries to rationalize his 8 day “escape” with a woman on whom he spent a decent amount of money to be with. He tries to balance his checkbook by measuring his sensual activities against his “necessary” expenses, such as a hotel room and the plane ticket. He is swayed back and forth as to whether or not love has a price. This story elucidates adequately the idea of a superficial relationship. He is on an extended “hook-up”, because in today’s society if a “hook-up” lasts more than 7 or 8 hours, the couple is assumed to be married before the hotel turns on the waffle maker. The reality is that this covert, transient relationship was all-consuming for this guy. A glimpse of the man’s all-consuming experience will be delineated: “It’s more like you have a good sixteen or eighteen hours a day of this going on”(Davis 400). They are being together every waking hour. I’m sure this brings balance to the financial status, at least mentally. Most guys would be flabbergasted with confusion upon this dude’s “paradisiacal” situation. While this story shows that families can be composed of lovers, unfortunately, this type of family isn’t void of problems. This “ephemeral” family is more pleasuring than a “situated” family, however, it is much more painful as its longevity can be capriciously terminated. When talking about his pain the man says: “You can’t measure it, because the pain comes after and it lasts longer”(Davis 403). The man’s last thought on the “balance” illuminates the pain he is hiding: “So I’m just thinking about it, how you can go in with 600$, more like 1000$, and how you can come out with an old shirt”(Davis 403). Even though this relationship had gloominess and heartache, it still had love, therefore it is a familial experience. There is, of course, risk of emotional pain when engaging in this type of family. It can be hard to see how this ephemeral, sensually-activated, ultimately painful relationship could be a sacred institution called family, however, this brings up the idea of “multiple” families, but that is for another time. Protection or support are important features in the family. People love feeling safe-perhaps the reason for this desire is found in our fetal, physical memories in the deep recesses of our minds. In “The Storm” by Kate Chopin, Ms. Calixta is a worrying woman waiting for her husband and young son to return home while an ominous storm is occurring. During the storm an old friend of Ms. Calixta, M’sieur Alcee, seeks shelter from the storm and stops for a “visit”. The two had feelings for each other a while ago and they were obviously pushed back for quite some time. In her distress she desperately seeks comfort in her familiar friend. Sensing her distress, “Alcee’s arm encircled her, and for an instant he drew her close and spasmodically to him”(Chopin 396). He offered her comfort, protection. She submitted to his “offer” of protection and the two rekindled their feelings for each other. Perhaps they were always an emotional family even though they were apart for all those years. Is this emotional adultery acceptable? That is for the individual to decide, but one thing is certain: support makes up the family. Another work of literature that exemplifies the idea of support and protection in the family is in “Separating” by John Updike. This story is about a biological family in which the parents are seeking to be separated, not necessarily divorced. The parents want to give the news to the children in a gentle way. The kids weren’t very aware of the problems between the parents because the parents “stood as a thin barrier between the children and the truth”(Updike 410)-sadly, the parents staying together was the literal symbol that everything was ok even though it was not. They played a risky game of protection. The support in the story is very ambiguous. The father provides physical support in preparation for the separation by repairing things on the house, but the strange support came after the parents told most of the kids the news of the separation. After they told the kids the father said to his wife: “You were great too. Thank you”(Updike 413). They were congratulating each other on their telling the kids of the news as if they were actors. The father then felt guilty due to the support he and his wife showed for each other- this made things feel as if they weren’t separating. It is a very strange support example. The reality is that family, any type, can be dysfunctional but there can still be support. The parents still addressed their kids’ concerns regarding the matter. The real dramatic climax of this story is when the father tells the last child of the news. Ironically, after his son asked him why they were separating, the father, simply, “had forgotten why”(Updike 416). Maybe small displays of support makes a big impact. Ultimately, this story just goes to show that no family is perfect. In addition to love and support, sacrifice is also a necessary common denominator in all families.
It be demonstrated through putting others and their needs before yourself and your needs. It can be “letting things go” for the sake of maintaining the well-being of the family with the slight risk of personal discomfort. One example of sacrifice in literature stems from a previously discussed story, “The Storm”. The part that involves sacrifice involves Alcee and the influence the “emotional family” he has created with Calixta has on his own marriage. Alcee and his wife haven’t been together for a while as they needed a “break” for a modicum of time. His relationship with Calixta inspired him to write to his wife that same night. Alcee explained how it was alright if they stay a month longer because he realized that “their health and pleasure were the first things to be considered”(Chopin 398). Even though Alcee wanted to be with his wife and child, he made the sacrifice of giving them some extra time even though he was ready to have them back. He put their needs before his own-he sacrificed. To be willing to be apart from loved ones even though things are happy and copacetic is true devotion and attests to a person’s ability to
sacrifice. Families have been around since the dawn of creation-the first family was God’s family, made up of Adam and Eve. That was the original precedent of what the family should have continued as. Unfortunately, due to a series of events, as described in Genesis, the human race was born, ready to start its family. This “new” race would go on to create families of all types and sizes. Today, we have a variety of “physical” family types as well as “non-physical” types. Despite man’s separation from the original family structure, there are some key ingredients found in a successful human family, regardless of the type: Love, Support, and Sacrifice. Love is the biggest force in the family. Whether emotional, parental, sensual, or any other type, love is what brings us closer and triggers unity. Support is the essence of what is expected when there is love. Sacrifice, the epitome of selflessness, is what is necessary at times to show support and love. These three entities of the “real” family inspire in the gloomiest of times and celebrate in the joyous, pacific moments. The world will not always be affable, however, family is the thing to hold on to. There are questions that need to be asked, however. Which families have I created? Which ones have I terminated? Am I in the “right” family? These curiosities, which are the purveyors of internal truths and of the reality that life is dynamic and full of possibilities, need to be appeased with one omnipotent universality.
Taylor and Lou Ann demonstrate a symbiotic relationship between the roles and characteristics in a family. Edna Poppy and Virgie Mae replaces the missing physical and emotional traits in a stable household. The examples tie into the fact that not all families in this book match “the norms” and expectations, but are equally valued, blood or
The idea of “family” is almost entirely socially constructed. From grandparents, to friends, to wives and fiancés, the means by which we decide who is related to us and who is not is decided by the person and their milieu. In Mignon R. Moore’s “Independent Women: Equality in African-American Lesbian Relationships”, Eviatar Zerubavel’s Ancestors and Relatives: Genealogy, Identity and Community, and Franz Kafka’s The Judgement, this idea is tested. Who do we consider close enough to us to share our most intimate details and how do we choose them? Each piece offers a different view, which is the “right” way for each of the people described, whether broad (as in Zerbavel’s reading) or specific (as in Moore’s reading), but there are also many similarities in the ways family is defined and actualized.
Family was a place of gathering where people met to eat, drink and socialize. The people in the story were also religious as shown by Mrs. Knox as she prayed for her family. The narrator described th...
The word family evokes an image of trust and a bond of loyalty. In William Faulkner’s “Barn Burning” and James Baldwin’s “Sonny’s Blues”, the main characters in both these stories demonstrate the idea of family loyalty in several ways. While they continue to express the values of family loyalty, the main characters have to overcome several obstacles. Searching for ways to communicate effectively with their families and maintaining their changing identities trap the characters. In “Barn Burning”, Sarty is conflicted with being loyal to his family and being loyal to himself and in “Sonny’s Blues”, the brother has to deal with being loyal to Sonny’s values. During this process, it changes their character and forces them to change and learn about themselves.
A family can be classified as one of many things. It can be a group of people living under one roof; a group of people of common ancestry; or even a unit of a crime syndicate like the Mafia (Merriam Webster). But to Holden Caulfield, the main character of J.D. Salinger’s novel The Catcher In The Rye, his family was what we as a society normally think of when that word is spoken. There are always variations on a theme, but a typical family consists of two parents and at least one child. During the 1950’s when the novel is set, adoption was virtually unheard of and divorce could be considered a sin where as today these are common practices. But one thing about family that has prevailed through the decades is the family’s affect on a person’s existence. The way a person interacts with their family can affect them for the rest of their lives. And the way a family interacts with a specific person can affect that person for the rest of their life. It is a two way relationship which is often complicated and confusing, especially to Holden.
Sacrificing is the act of giving up, destroying, permitting injury to, or forgoing something valued for the sake of something having a more pressing claim. In Liberty and Exile by Julia Alvarez a lot of people have to take certain responsibilities which can involve sacrificing.
English author Simon Sinek penned, “There is no decision that we can make that doesn't come with some sort of balance or sacrifice”. Harmony is an admirable goal, but sacrifice is necessary to achieve it. According to Merriam-Webster, sacrifice is an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy. Sacrifice has the power to create harmony, but if taken to extremes can also destroy humanity. When does the cost become too high? As humans our most valuable possession is our humanity and no price is worth enough to sacrifice it. Therefore, the perfect relationship between sacrifice and harmony exists when humanity is not lost and balance is gained.
And choose wrong?” (P.98). From reading this, I feel that the community was able to control problems such as divorce, rape, teen pregnancy, and AIDS. They all are given a life that is predictable, orderly and painless. Mostly, they have no memory or experience. In reality, we learn from our mistakes to be better each day. Experience is the best teacher in the world; unless one goes through sorrow, he or she will never know how it feels. “Warmth, Jonas replied and happiness. And let me think. Family, that it was a celebration of some sort, a holiday. And something else I can’t get the word for it. Jonas hesitated; I certainly liked the memory, though. I couldn’t quite get the word for the whole feeling of it, The Giver told him the feeling that was so strong in the room is love” (P.125). Family in the novel is described as a group of people that have a unit or bond that they share each day together.
What's important to note is that family, or even the concept of family itself, doesn't appear in any of those ideals. Holmes and Holmes (2002) observed that “The family reunions of yesterday are now rare, and when they occur they are often a source of stress.” (p. 19) That quote solidifies one reason why family interaction today is: “It’s just too stressful, so we avoid it. Where does marriage fit into our culture of individuals?
Your family is a portal to the world. They can help you meet others and interact with people. However, it may not always turn out this way. An example of this is how Mildred wanted another wall and told Montag “It’s only two thousand dollars. And I should think you’d consider me sometimes”(18). This shows how Mildred doesn’t care about the cost or the damage it can do to Montag and their home, she just wants what she wants. Another example of this is when Montag’s family has “An hour of TV class, an hour of basketball or baseball or running, another hour of transcription history or painting pictures, and more sports…”(27) instead of interacting as a family much like Clarisse and her family. In addition, our society does the same actions where instead of making conversation and being productive we will text each other from opposite sides of the room and make little eye contact. We are often disconnected from one another.
Indeed, the pioneer aviator and author Anne Morrow Lindbergh puts it best when she says, “to give without any reward, or any notice, has a special quality of its own” In Charles Dickens’s A Tale of two Cities, Dickens shows the inherent goodness of his characters. By exemplifying various acts of sacrifice, he demonstrates that the character’s gifts ultimately bring about great change, often changes that facilitate the revival of their loved ones. The very first signs of sacrifice are noted in the opening scenes of the book. Dickens writes of a “fated revolution” by metaphorically comparing the woodsman and the forester to the creation of the guillotine.
Families are more than just a place for biologically related people to gather and relate, but are places that symbolize all the things that they stand for – such as love, hope, unity, and much more. In some families however, they are defined by the lack of these characteristics and the prevalence of other, less welcoming characteristics – such as conflict, resentment, and anger. While these other, less welcoming characteristics have the ability to damage and destroy relationships, they also have the ability to assist others in identifying areas in which the relationships are both strong and weak. The lack of family-like characteristics is prevalent in two classic American plays, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and Death of a Salesman, where they play a critical role in advancing the plot and defining the character’s relationships.
Family is an integral part of human life, a part of each of our lives, a part of each life in the past and future. To some, family is simply one’s parents and one’s siblings. To more, family includes extended relatives. To others, family extends to close friends, tied by everything but blood. Throughout history, writers have analyzed the questions of what it really means to be a part of a family. Does it require unrelenting devotion? Can family pressure one to act in a certain way? Can the duty to family be a source of personal torture? What lies in the domain of the definition of family? Familial duty is defined as a moral obligation to one’s family.
Out of the numerous commodities and resources that are scarce on the planet in which we inhabit a family, or even a family system, can never be parallel to even an iota of them. This is due to the fact that everyone, no matter what age at what time period of their life, has a family. That family may not be the cookie cutter family that society imposes on the media world. People develop without knowing their family, people create new families of their own, or they can even find something or someone to call family because of this family will never be scarce. Family is an objective concept to every single person and the definition varies significantly from being as simple as the smallest of toys to as complex as a group of people interconnected
To thoroughly elaborate on the institution of family we most look at the family as it was before and how much it has changed over time. Throughout the years we are recognizing that the family is slowly being replaced by other agents of socialization. Families in the past consisted of a mother and a father and most times children. We are, as many societies a patriarchal society; men are usually the head of the households. This has always been considered the norm.