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Real and Unreal
What’s Ideally Real?
What is ideal and what is real? We seem to have this idealized concept of what love is supposed to be like according to the way society has molded us. Perhaps these ideals are more about the self than they are about a relationship between two people. We want to feel loved, and when we get that love from another person we become determined to secure that feeling. By securing these feelings we lean towards controlling that relationship. However, control is merely a way of fabricating and disguising reality. And by manipulating reality in this way we create an ideal relationship stemming mainly from our own selfish vain imaginings.
Literature gives us many examples of these sorts of ideals while at the same time showing us how reality eventually prevails these conceptions. Whether the stories portray an ideal relationship or a realistic one, is dependant on the author. If the author chooses to place his/her characters in an ideal relationship, it must be perfectly ideal. Ideal does not necessarily translate to a positive viewpoint, though. It could mean the perfectly wrong relationship. It just implies that the characters are both dedicated to their relationship not being positive. In a realistic relationship, there are constant factors interfering with the relationship, and opinions of the other change and vary throughout the work.
Claire Kemp, in her short story, “Keeping Company” gives an example of a relationship ...
It may be that ideals are necessary for humanity. Without idealized images, codes of behavior, even idealized objects, mankind would have difficulty functioning. There would be a lack of context or criteria with which to judge objects that may be termed less than ideal. However, the problem with idealized images is that they can never be described fully, and certainly never attained. An example is the contemporary ideal of feminine beauty, which has led to countless problems such as depression and psychological dietary disorders among women who perceive themselves to be "inadequate." The more culturally emphasized an ideal is, the more ordinary people are made to feel inadequate.
Because writing is inherently romantic in nature, throughout the history of literature, we see many authors' insights into the enigmatic and often ambiguous subject of love and relationships. Three short stories penned by three separate American writers deal with such matter: Charlotte Perkins Gillman in "The Yellow Wallpaper", Kate Chopin in "The Storm", and Nathaniel Hawthorne in "Young Goodman Brown." Though the relationships presented in each of these stories are unique in their own persuasion, the same underlying theme runs true in all. At first glance all of these relationships may appear healthy in their existence; however, further introspection uncovers specific maladies which I believe elicit much of the discord which arises within each of these writings. All of the husbands in the aforementioned short stories evoke, though some more subtly than others, varying degrees of conflict.
A good relationship cannot be found, it has to be created. Relationships are different for everybody and most of us feel we need a good relationship in our lives to make us feel better and live happier but that is that always necessarily the case? ‘Thefreedictionary.com’ defines relationship as ‘The condition or fact of being related; connection or association’ whereas the ‘urbandictionary.com’ defines a relationship as ‘A legal form of prostitution where a female collects money, cars, and other valuable things in exchange for sex’, both definitions are very different but which Is right and which is wrong? Truth is both may be right. The definition of relationship depends upon how you see it, therefore meaning there may be millions of different definitions out there. Shakespeare and Elizabeth Barrett Browning both investigate the developments and growth in relationships in their texts ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and ‘Sonnet 43’. Many similarities emerge from both texts despite both authors being centuries apart.
Even when examining Anna’s early relationship with Jeff, when she arranges for him to come up on weekends with Chuck. He protests saying, “Jesus, I don’t even know the guy…why didn’t you call me first” (Wallace, 315). Her insecurity about whether or not Jeff would come up on weekends without this convenience allowed for a lack of communication of feelings between Jeff and Anna. However, of more importance is Anna’s lack of communication with Peter. A large part of what makes Anna herself is her ability and love of creating stories. When her husband does not share this, Anna finds this challenging, and lets it become a barrier for communication. “His face set in the pained expression he wears for conversations like this – “What ifs” speculations. When Jennifer and I sit in a restaurant making up stories about the people around us, he closes his eyes, just as he’s doing now” (Wallace, 317). Peters almost dismissal through the closing his eyes of Anna’s love for story making allows for a distancing and ultimately a deep seeded feeling of isolation and
Most people in today's society have been in love or will be in love sometime in their life. I am not talking about little crushes that we call love; I am talking about that love that makes us tingle when we think about it, true love. Most people are looking for their true love, but what they are basing this love on is their idea of the ideal love. Ideal love is what we think love should be or what it should feel like. My idea of ideal love is when you want to be with the same person everyday and never get tired of them. Every time you see each other you get that same warm, tingly feeling you got the first time you saw each other. Although everyone has their own idea what the ideal love should be, they are all basing it on the idea of true love. For example, the saying "Love Conquers All" simply states that if you have love in your life you can make it through anything. The stories "Astronomer's Wife," by Kay Boyle, and "The Yellow Wallpaper," by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, both show that without love in a marriage there is a lifetime of heartache and pain.
After a more detailed examination of the stories, however, it becomes evident that each individual is striving to find love. Though love is a universal goal, each person's criteria for a meaningful, fulfilling and loving relationship varies. This is clearly demonstrated by the different situations in which the characters find themselves. The conventional, stereotypical, and almost cliché demonstration of love can be seen in stories A & D, where the characters simply "fall in love and get married".
‘Healthy relationships share certain characteristics’(Characteristics) that should be known to have a good long healthy relationship. This qualities have a large range from honesty to mutual respect. Having at least honesty, good communication, mutual respect, and lastly acceptance. While this does not guarantee that your relationship will be healthy for every it's a good start. As for the relationship of Lady Macbeth and Macbeth they start off their relationship with good communication and honesty. Good communication is seen as the ability to freely and openly talk about anything that may come to your mind. In the case of the Macbeth relationship this could be seen when the plotted the murder of King Duncan. This example is may no seem like it could be unhealthy to plot a murder but this did need them to have good sense of communication skills with one another,
William Faulkner's “A Rose for Emily” and Charlotte Perkins Gilman's “The Yellow Wallpaper” are two short stories which incorporate many similarities, both stories are about the emotional and psychological experiences of two women living in a reclusive environment. The women presented in both of the stories experience moments of insanity, loneliness, feelings of being controlled by others, and of loss of psychological self-control. In both of the stories, each of the women experience similar situations, in a complete different environment, and while one is practically force to refrain for outside stimulation, the other voluntarily avoids them.
Miss Brill’s loneliness causes her to listen in on conversations. This is her only means of achieving a sense of companionship. She feels that for a moment she is “sitting in other people’s lives just for a minute” (98). Aside from that, she is part of no one’s life.
Friendship, Role model, Boyfriend/Girlfriend- all these are examples of a relationship. Everyone sees them constantly begin and end throughout life, but they are still always there. In this short story, Frances and Michael are having a problem with their marriage because Michael can’t keep his eyes off other women. “This is the story of a troubled relationship of which only one climatic moment is overly depicted” (Giles 5). This quote shows how Frances stayed in this relationship for many years, even though Michael looking at other women is a reoccurring problem. Frances stayed in this relationship because she was afraid to lose her romantic relationship.
What is true love? What is fake love? How can the difference be noticed? William Shakespeare, in Midsummer Night's Dream demonstrates how fake love crumbles and how true love perseveres. New relationships can be easily broken if they are fake. The relationship will crumble and it will leave both sides heartbroken. This can be seen through the relationship of Hermia and Lysander. Hermia demonstrates that love is risky when she falls in love with Lysander, love is unfair when Hermia has no say over who she will marry, and in the end, love is rewarding when Lysander and Hermia get married.
True love is real. It is always real because it feels real. True love is experiential and embodied. In “Princess Bride,” the story of true love takes us on a journey to a fantastic Ireland and its incredible landscapes, such as Cliffs of Moher. The main protagonists, Westley and Buttercup, are truly in love with each other, and nothing can take them apart. Their lives took an unexpected turn, and they had to be separated from each other. Buttercup thought that her beloved Westley had died. That is why she had decided to marry Prince Humperdinck. Yet, she was not in love with the Prince. Buttercup had clearly understood that her love for Westley was the only real love of her life. During their life quests for their love and, ultimately,
To idealize the beloved is to claim for them (or, in a sense, to endow them with) certain characteristics. The Ideal is the One--perfect, self-sufficient, unified, complete. The Ideal doesn't need anything. The consistent, static, homogeneous Sun is ideal; the changeable, inconsistent Moon is not.
“I love you.” These three little words might possibly be the most powerful statement one can make to another person. In life, most yearn for the intimate affection that a certain someone can provide them. Women dream of their Prince Charming to come and sweep them off their feet, while men search for the love of their life that sets their heart on fire. But what happens when love is thrown around without a second thought? Has this four letter word become an overused cliché? Has love been replaced with lust? Is there such a thing as true love? This last question has been asked throughout history, while many have argued and debated over the final answer. We, as a society, have become a loveless, sex crazed group of people with no concern for any emotion or attachment in our lives. So does this mean that true love does not exist? No. This only shows that achieving the deepest of feelings takes work that our fast-food eating, TV watching generation is not prepared to handle. I believe that true love does exist, but has merely been pushed aside by convenience, superficiality, and apathy.
A happy relationship is based on realistic expectations? Real relationships take effort, time and commitment. A happy relationships doesn’t just happen because two people love each very much, but because they also value one another and are willing to make an investment of time and energy into building a happy relationship day after day. Throughout time, people have constantly attempted to seek happiness through relationships. In “The Diamond as Big as the Ritz” by F. Scott Fitzgerald and “The Story of an Hour” by Kate Chopin shows how happiness in relationship can be found in different ways. I think you can find happiness in freedom. Happiness is being free to do the things you want to do and to let go of fears and the judgments that other people might have and that’s how some people can find happiness in relationships.