Pretentiousness Definition

You met a girl yesterday and your first impression of her was that she seemed bubbly, humorous, elated for the most part. You also meet, a guy and he is the opposite of what the girl is. He seems to be more, nerdy maybe, or even soft spoken. Then while you are walking back home from your daily routine you decide to pay close attention to your surroundings. While observing you notice different types of people with different occupations. You see a police officer and the expression on his face clearly symbolizes that he’s not to be messed with. In a nearby restaurant, there seems to be a dispute between a customer and an employee. However, the employee appears to be more reserve. You overhear their conversation, and the employee tone is professional.

The employee is cautious of his/her word choice and how she speaks to the customer for the simple fact that a slip up might lead to being fired or a bad review for the restaurant. These examples share a connection, they illustrate how we all put on an act one way or another when we are in the presence of others.
We all have two sides, there is your true self (you may or may not be content with this side of you) and you have your superficial self. When I imply the word superficial I do not mean that one is deceiving all together. Certainly, there are characteristics that both sides share to make us whole. However, my intent meaning to this statement is you are not your true self in public in comparison to who you are when you are by yourself, or with people that genuinely know and understand the magnitude of your character. Reason being is that we are heavily influenced by society. There is an unwritten law that society imposes on us and these laws allow us all to act in a certain manner to fit society’s norms. For example when you are at work, you act certain way that differs from when you are alone. Most jobs requires their employees to be professional and well educated and some have trainings to prepare and teach you how to conduct yourself. For example, if you are working in the department of customer service, employees are taught that the customer is also right though they may be wrong at times. There are also gender imposed rules. It is apparent that both male and female have been persuaded to act a certain way. Speaking from a personal experience, I know that I was raised to wear dresses, do my nails, hair, and act in a feminine manner, and be the care take of the house. My cousin who stayed with us was raised be the breadwinner or the man of the house. My family did not just learn these habits out of thin hair, these ideas did not magically appear. They were imitating how they were brought up by their parents and their parent’s imitated their parents. Just like that, the cycle and system continued from generation to generation. Alan Turing states in “The imitation Game”, “Now, Detective, you get to judge. That’s how the game works. I answered your questions. You know my story. That’s the point of the game. We are all pretending to be something. Imitating something. Someone. And we are no more, and no less, than what we can convince other people that we are.”
Which brings me to this question, why is it that we continue to be pretentious and continue to practice a system that may be flawed? Why is it that we sometimes fear revealing who we actually are and what we stand for? I believe that the answer to this question is quite simple. I believe that everything that humans do begins with a system. That system becomes a game that players participate in. This game has two outcome; a loser and a winner. As we all know, the word winner has a positive connation. If you are a winner, you are awarded with a prize and everyone puts you on a pedestal. Nevertheless, if you are a loser, people perceive it as failure, you are judged by the majority and your prize is a stamp that states “not good enough”. So what do one do if they are seen as a failure? They continue to play the game and continue to strive for the system’s approval. In my opinion, this idea applies to how we often deprive our self of true happiness to satisfy the quote on quote system.
In a way we are all players in the game which is the “system” imposed by society.

Although some may refute this idea, this is perfectly fine because games tend to be ambiguous and repetitive at times. I believe that we are players of a system that prohibits us from acknowledging our true self. We have become such great players to extent that we do not realize that half of our life is pretentious; sometimes we don’t even realize that we are hurting ourselves by continuing to stay in a game that is clearly not made for us if we keep on “loosing” . Nonetheless, we continue to be pretentious because we are afraid of the outcome, what people will say, if we will be labeled as the winners or the losers. It all boils down to the approval of the imposed system. Speaking for myself, I know that I am very pretentious. My public self is completely different compared to when I am in a room alone. Usually, most people articulate that I am funny, outgoing, and sometimes loquacious. Although, these are some of my characteristics, I am more of an introvert. I find that having an outgoing personality is draining because you have to stay energetic at all times and it turns into what people expects from you. It has become so engraved in my daily routine to the point that I do not know how to stop being the outgoing girl that everyone

loves.
There is a certain pressure that comes with being someone you are not and that is the fear of not being accepted. I’ve observed that people are more accepting of those that are outgoing. They are viewed as confident, popular, or someone that knows what he or she wants. On the other hand introverts are viewed as unpleasant, not welcoming, uncanny or unpopular. Therefore, to play the “game” I put on a mask and play a different character and in the end my reward is acceptance, to be favored by others.
This idea of the imitation game is very similar to how we communicate. (Gary Radford) states, “Communication is a tool to achieve desired attitudes and behaviors in the receiver” (77). This idea relates to the how society’s form of game (society’s system) works. The system communicates and formulates the rules for the players and in retrospect the players are expected to behave a certain way and abide by the rules. The main objective of the sender is to persuade the receiver. Once the receiver is persuaded, it becomes easier for the receiver act out exactly what the sender intended. (Radford) The effectiveness are concerned with the success with which the meaning conveyed to the receiver leads to the desired conduct on his part. But with any reasonably broad definition of conduct, it is clear that communication either affects conduct or is without any discernable and probable effects at all” (77,79). One way or another, we are all going to be affected by a persuaded message and whatever message we are persuaded by, it affects our attitudes, behavior, and conduct.
However, with all that has been said, the players or in other words the receivers still have a choice. They can either be persuaded by the sender or and act accordingly to what the sender wants, or they can receive the message and oppose what the sender is trying to say. However it all depends on the receiver’s understanding and perception of the information that is being sent to them. In the “Mathematical Theory of Communication “Claude E. Shannon state, “ the effectiveness problem are concerned with the success with which the meaning conveyed to the receiver is leads to the desired conduct on his part” (132). In addition, being pretentious can be by choice especially in the United States. Personally, I have the ability to make a change and it begins with not being persuaded easily by society’s imposed message. I understand that there is always going to be a cycle of people creating games and rules for those who are willing to listen and those that are easily persuaded; but it is up to me to pick and choose my conduct. Personally, the first step for me is to understand that my conduct does not have to confirm to what the sender desires but what I desire.