Power And The Relational Theory Of Power In Conflict

As defined in the text, power is a fundamental concept in conflict theory. If only it were that easy to define or label power in conflict as "good" or "bad".  Simply stated, in and of itself, it is both.  Similar to "beauty being in the eyes of the beholder," Power is much the same way — it is in the hands of the beholder. The English word power comes from the Latin posse — “to be able”.  Dictionary.com defines power as “a person or thing that possesses or exercises authority or influence.” Power has a number of meanings and means something slightly different to everyone, but essentially is gives us the ability to do something. It can enable us to have the capacity to affect change when faced with conflict. So in reality when we use our power

in conflict, we are using our authority to get or achieve something.
Three significant things about power in conflict I learned are power balancing, power currencies, particularly communication skills and the relational theory of power.

We can reduce the amount of violence, arguments and miscommunications by effectively balancing power. People can work together to make relationships more equal in creative ways and find outlets that will manage conflict better. This allows people to work together more productively for the good, particularly when faced with conflict. When power is balanced we can learn to reach agreements more effectively and fairly. It is necessary to continually even out the power balance in relationships whenever warranted. One way to avoid conflict at home is to balance out household duties. It is very important for one to not feel as they are contributing to more of the household chores than the other. Each of us is more productive with certain projects than others are. On that same note, each of us like doing things more than others. I always clean the kitchen, wash the dishes, load and unload the dishwasher, etc, although my partner does most of the prepping and cooking. It is a balance, therefore, we rarely argue over who is doing more than the other when it comes to cooking and cleaning. We appreciate our differences and use them to add value to our relationship. As stated in the text, everyone has potential currencies that can be used to balance or gain power in our relationships. Power Currencies define how much

your particular resources are valued by the others in a relationship context. They are called power currencies because they are similar to money. There are four different types of power currencies that people can have over one another. They are Resource Control, Interpersonal Linkage, Communication Skills, and Expertise. Of the four, I found communication skills most significant. One power currency I have been communication skills. I can help lead a group in making important decisions and speak persuasively. I have always been able to form bonds with others quickly through caring, nurturing, empathy and understanding. These are all significant interpersonal communication skills. In interpersonal relationships, a relational theory of power can help explain an individual status of power. According to the text, this theory is not used to describe power status in situations concerning physical power or use of violence, but instead “power is a property of the social relationship rather than the quality of the individual.”  In other words, power is not something we own, however, it is potentially something that develops in relationships with another individual. As Hocker and Wilmot concisely put it, “power is a product of the communication relationship.”

• What behaviors does a feeling of high power lead to? Explain. Include examples. Length: 400-500 words.

Power plays a role in most conflicts, resulting from struggles to either maintain or gain power. The need for power is simply a reality of life. We see people using or abusing and we see others claiming or denying. Whatever the struggle may be, many go through it to gain that feeling of control and power. This can lead to complete turmoil and conflict among others and oneself.
Some would say power increases people’s sense of entitlement so that they feel they are more deserving than others despite not having done anything special.

Therefore, one could say that power makes people self-centered and this is the opposite of effectively resolving a conflict. When put to wise and judicious use, power can undoubtedly be considered as good.  This positive use can be manifested in grand and noble actions benefiting many, or it can be simply recognized in a small, anonymous act benefiting one or few.  Too often, we define power as some grand gesture or noble position of authority.  When an issue arises that needs resolution, can we deem a simple act of kindness, no matter how seemingly insignificant, done for the betterment of another person by someone with the ability to do so, a good use of power?  Is this not a representation of the "Power of Compassion" or "Power of Love" of "Power of Hope"?  While at the same time, great men and women throughout history have exercised power in a good and positive way delivering enormous benefits to civilization, to our culture, to our environment,

etc.
Conversely, the exact same thing can be said for power being a bad thing. Very few people would not crave to be in charge, especially men. There is now growing evidence that power is actually bad for people’s health and performance, and it turns them into less effective leaders. I read there is a good amount of evidence that having power shuts off your empathy system so that you become insensitive to other people’s emotions, even their suffering. Thus, power decreases empathizing and this is not what we want to see in our attempts to discover solutions in conflict.
Power is important to many because it can be intended for reputation management, positional respect, and advancement. Wrong application of power is created by the attitude of people abusing their power. For example, dishonesties and unethical engagements can negatively affect an organization. When put to foolish and malicious use, power can undoubtedly be considered as bad.  This negative use can be demonstrated in dramatic and questionable actions damaging many, or can be simply realized in a small, anonymous act damaging to one or few, causing conflict. Too often, we define power as some authoritative and broad position of authority. This can also be referred to as power denial when people dislike any discussion of power. Unfortunately, can we not deem a simple act of indifference, no matter how seemingly insignificant, done for the belittlement of another entity by someone with the ability to do so, a bad use of power?  Is this not a representation of the "Power of Callousness" or "Power of Hate" of "Power of Despair"?  While at the same time, men and women of challenging character throughout history have exercised power in a bad and negative way delivering enormous destruction to civilization, to our culture, to our environment, etc.

Think of a situation where you have experienced a feeling of low power. Briefly describe the situation. How did you handle it? What could have been done to better balance the power? Be specific. Length: 400-500 words.
Recently I have had my first experience of my child’s strong attempts at autonomy. It is a power struggle. I have felt extremely challenged and a feeling of low power, powerless at times. There is a constant battle of wills where emotions have run higher than the issues and this has lasted several months. I am sure I will experience similar struggles throughout childhood. To describe this as a trying time would be an understatement. To better balance the power I feel attempting to turn this time into a rewarding growth period for her by shifting my perspective somewhat. When is comes to her negative behavior, I can start becoming more clever and creative with my responses and not so frustrated. She will be very headstrong, stubborn, frustrated, and show negative behavior. I have learned that I truly need to be more patient and realize she has feelings too and at this age are very hard to figure out the best way to express them. Instead of viewing her independent behavior as bad and reacting in a way that overpowers her, I can view this behavior as a healthy positive sign of her development and find ways to empower her. When I react by overpowering her, it can cause her to feel powerless and discourages which is not effective. Allowing our children to practice at being powerful in useful and appropriate ways helps them become a self-reliant adult, one that can make good decisions and has the confidence to be whatever he or she chooses.
We at sometimes have possessed different kinds of power depending on the situation or person that is involved. I believe in our relationships, our intentions in gaining power, if not properly in line with the relational purposes and goals, will not benefit us. Thus, the reality of power should be widely accepted that it is important to empower someone to contribute effectively to his/her relationships.  The issue becomes what kind of power a person has and how someone uses that power.