Pop Culture Effect On Love Essay

What is love? Webster’s dictionary defines it as, “attraction that includes sexual desire : the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship.” The Urban dictionary calls it, “nature's way of tricking people into reproducing”. Tina Turner goes so far as to call love a “second hand emotion”. Over time the concept of “love” has evolved; popular culture has held sway on these evolutions, causing the value of love to diminish and the subject to simplify.

In medieval times, love was romanticized with the concept of chivalry. Women were wooed and treated as lovely-precious ornaments on pedestals. Love was more of a flirtation than physical contact. It was primarily emotional and the relationships born of it were predominately platonic, at least until after marriage. In today’s society, the subject of sex is frequently vocalized in the media and literature. Television programs and feature films correlate sex with being a part of a “healthy” relationship, because of this, partners often feel pressured into physical relationships. We are constantly bombarded with the thought that we should have sex because it is a validation of our love. Does

this mean that if we do not immediately have sex, after deciding we love someone, then we do not truly love them? If we are to base our understanding of love on that of the “Kardashians” or “Jersey Shore”, then the answer is probably yes.
In this day and age, we are taught that love is not enough to sustain a lasting relationship. Love, one of the most powerful forces in human history, a topic on which a plethora of literary works and cinema have been based, for which entire wars have been fought, has now been simply reduced to a checked box of credentials in a the modern relationship.
As a military child living in a “sheltered” world, my perception of love was naive. I envisioned roses, serenades, clasped hands and , of course, my first kiss. I imagined sharing emotions and spending time with the one I loved, doing activities like picnics or boat rides. By the time I reached by Junior year in high school, these were still my ideals and opinions of love. However, after listening to an extensive conversation on the subject during a break period, I realized that I was somewhat alone in my views. Among my peers, love had become just a word, a word that people simply tossed around like any other article of language. It is frivolous and really meant little more than that one person wanted to develop a physical relationship with the individual they attribute it to. These peers often referenced movie stars or other celebrities, to legitimate their opinion of love. One such reference being Beyonce’s “Single Lady”, in which she states, “If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it”. Such a statement both supports the notion that love expires and that if you think you could find a better version, then you should pursue it. Loyalty and love are completely unrelated and attempts to combine the two are discouraged.
Another example of pop culture’s effect on love are dating shows, such as the “Dating Game”, “Love and Money”, and “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila”.

Gone are the days of courting, now dating is a game where you compete with others for the affection one person. This version or romantic pursuit looks more like a harem then anything else. Supposedly there shows lead to true love, and yet there are multiple seasons. By taking the true meaning of love out of the picture society has doomed itself. Instead of looking for “the one” we end up searching for the “best” one. There will always be someone who does some task better than the other person. True love isn’t about perfection, it’s about finding the “right” one. The one that makes you a better person, not the one that gets you the most attention or the best

rating.
As time goes on, history presents us with an upward trend of increasing physical contact between “lovers”; love itself has become synonymous with sex. If you love someone then you are meant to consummate that love. A notion that undoubtedly would shock and appall the romantics of the past. Because of pop culture, what we would normally define as lust is now love. This institution has been reinforced by tv personalities and other celebrities such as Snookie, Charlie Sheen, or Tiger Woods. I have found that pop culture has severely impacted our understanding of love and, by extension, relationships. We “make love” to be in love, instead of being in love then making love.