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Effects of divorce on children introduction
How can divorce affect children emotionally
Effects of divorce on children introduction
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Most of us can agree that people as individuals do things out of love. It could be something that is horribly wrong or amazingly right. A lot of people have often done things to just impress someone. Love is a strong feeling to withhold and often hard to explain. Mostly everyone wants to feel loved and if they don’t, they will jump leaps to retrieve it. What about if you found love? Of course, most times you can find love from a family member or a coworker, but what if you found your soulmate? The person you have dreamed of being with. The person you will always brag about. Finding your soulmate is a great feeling to have. Doing all the adorable things like going to the movies, romantic dinners, and lasting hours on the phone just feel so right …show more content…
Most couples will try their hardest to work things out within their marriage, but sometimes divorce can be the best option. You cannot force something to work if it cannot work naturally. This process is more difficult when there are children involved. Most parents do not want a divorce because they do not want to destroy their family. Most families want that ideal household, but no family is that perfect. Sometimes it is best for parents to get a divorce because they do not want a negative vibe in the household. Some children can completely understand while others cannot. That alone can add more stress on a parent. When dealing with divorce, it is important to just give love and support to one another. Parents that are going through divorce would love to have that social support from their children or friends. “However, parents had strong expectations for nurturant, informational, and tangible support from both friends and young adult children” (McManus, T. G., & Nussbaum, J. F., 2011, p. 245). Divorce is a stressor itself. With continuous stressors that are added on, it just makes the process much worse. If parents feel that getting a divorce is the best option, then it needs to be done. At this point, parents have to stop being selfish and just think about what is best for the children. Parents should want nothing but positivity surrounding their children and they will appreciate that in the long …show more content…
A lot of parents become very selfish when dealing with divorce and sometimes that can be a good and a bad thing. When you have children it can be a bad thing because parents should do what is best for the children. For example, if a parent is going through physical abuse from the other parent, then that is a major sign that the parent should leave. It will be hard for the child at first, but the parent knows it will be a better outcome. According to Davis (2011), divorce has helped women and children through obstacles like neglect. Being able to get out of a bad situation is the best solution. It is good when parents get to become happy again and live a better life. It is better for the relationship between both parents and especially for the
Divorce causes an enormous amount of stress in the lives of many; according to the American Psychological Association, in America, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples divorce. For most parents, missing their kids on weekends, holidays, and vacations can be very stressful; the parents are often stressing about what the other parent is telling the child and who the other parent has around the child. In a divorce, most likely, there will be some increased financial stress for one spouse or both. Possibly the house, the cars, the accounts, and maybe the dogs could be divided within both parties; it may work out good for someone, but both individuals will inherit some unmerited stress. Knowing, as a parent, children are likely to suffer due to the removal from a natural environment causes pain to a loving parent; most important, the stress it causes to a kid can be unbearable. The decision to cancel a marriage can be very chaotic and traumatic to all parties
The argument over how divorce affects children is one that has been going on for a very long time. Some people believe when parents get a divorce the children are not affected at all, while others believe when parents get a divorce the children are affected by the impact of divorce more than anyone in the family. In some cases, married couples can be in such a terrible marriage that divorce can in no way be avoided, and these divorces are usually the ones that children benefit from and are affected in a positive way. Many times though, a couple will choose to get a divorce because their marriage is not exactly the way it used to be, and they want that aspect of life back; these are the divorces that negatively affect children. Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives.
Divorce is a word that everyone knows very well, no matter what the age. These days, everyone knows at least one person that has either been in a divorce or whose parents are divorced. Today, about 50% of all marriages end in divorce('No-Fault' Divorce, 2004). Between the time that half of those couples get married and divorced, many of them had children. By 2004, "one in four children lived in single-parent homes"('No-Fault' Divorce, 2004). After the divorce, not only are the adults hurting, but the children are also. Throughout the divorce, the parents are caught up in each other, money, possessions, and their own pain that without even realizing it, their children are hurting too. Adults are becoming more careless and think less about how compatible they are to their partners. Some couples have children shortly after the wedding before they adjust to each other. After their children are born, the real problems start to become more relevant. With new problems surfacing and raising children at the same time, it becomes very difficult and divorce sounds like an answer to the problems.
For different reasons, many couples get a divorce, while having children involved. Many, who are getting a divorce, may think of getting a divorce as a positive way or the best way for the child to get out of the negative environment they were in, while their parents were together. Basically, assuming that if the parents are happy, the children will be happy. In reality, divorce is a serious decision to make and affects the child involved in the situation, negatively. Divorce is hard for any person to cope with, let alone a child to go through.
Divorce should be harder to obtain due to the effect that it has on children the main effect it has on the children is depression. “ In the short term divorce is always troublesome for children Mavis Hetherington videotaped and scrutinized the workings of 1400 divorced families since the early 1970’s. Hetherington pinpoints a crisis period of about two years in the immediate aftermath of separation when the adults, preoccupied with their own lives, typically takes their eye off parenting just when their children are reeling from loss and feeling bewildered” (Hethrington 2). This article states that the short term effect of divorce affects the kid deep because they feel that they lost one forever and in those 1400 many of the kids felt the effect of the divorce. “Wallerstein has told us that divorce abruptly ends kids’ childhood, filling it with loneliness and worry about their parents, and hurting them prematurely and recklessly into adolescence. (Wallerstein 2).” This later affects the kids life because they try to think of happy memories they had but really all they can think about is the parent that they loss due to the divorce. “Contrary to the popular perceptions, the alternative to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts tell us that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In the vast number of divorces, then, there is no gross strife or violence that could warp a youngster’s childhood. The majority of marital break-ups are driven by a quest for greener grass—and in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Zinsmeister 2)” this proves to me that when people get a divorce they most of the time don’t ...
Children can suffer from, fear, grief, anger, depression, shame, sadness, anxiety, embarrassment, self-blame, abandonment, and many other things. (Borden, 2015). There is no guarantee that if a child goes through a divorce that they will experience any or all of these things and there is no guarantee that they would not experience these things if a divorce did not happen as well. A divorce definitely would not help the child in this area and it would be in the best interest of the parents for a divorce to not happen if children were
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
American Journalist, Helen Rowland said, “ When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understand each other, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to” (1). Divorce means the ending of a marriage by legal separation, thus, a couple that were once bonded together have now separated for opposing reasons. Divorce has hurt and destroyed many families across the world and can cause a lot of negativity. Teens often do not know how to deal with the fact that their family is no longer whole and they will transition into a depression. Teens may experience emotional damage by seeing the two most important people in their lives fight constantly. There is a good side and a bad side to seeing parents go through a divorce as a teen. Quite often teens tend to see that, since they are so unhappy, that it is better for them to separate because they do not want to see their parents get hurt. Even when separated, they learn to communicate and bond between one another. The negative side of divorce is that families sometimes stay torn apart, therefore: There is a lot of anger, rage that happens because going through a situation like this is not something that is easy, and many emotions become involved. Dealing with their parents can be difficult for some teens, but for many others, they feel as if a divorce will make their family happier without seeing all of the fighting.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...
In a divorce, the parents usually do not get along and may have different opinions on items. They may go to court and fight against each other about what factors caused the separation leading to the divorce and how the properties are divided. This possible exposure is very unhealthy for a child. The child sees his parents fighting and may learn from the behavior and display it. He or she may see that behavior as being an acceptable action. The fighting behavior of parents causes behavioral problems within a child. The child may hear things from one parent about the other that causes the child to take sides when he or she should be learning not to be biased and to love both parents equally.
Divorce has a negative effect on the psychological and social aspects of our children, which may appear instantly or not come to the surface for years. This is why I think that divorce should only be a last resort and not rushed into even by couples with the most troubled marriages. The only acceptable reason for someone rushing into divorce is if they or their children are in danger. I believe that marriage is a commitment not to be taken lightly and disregarded at the first bump in the road especially when there are children involved. Far too many people do not want to take responsibility for their actions and choices; for example, people use abortion as birth control and couples’ jumping in and out of marriages like it’s a trial and error institution. Marriage is no longer taken seriously; commitment and monogamy are no longer an essential ingredient. For most couples today, it’s not even considered as a part of marriage. The negative effects that divorce has on children should be the number one consideration when a couple hits that hard time in their relationship.
So, in conclusion, divorce is very bad for children. It ruins their lives and happiness. Losing a parent destroys a child emotionally, mentally and even academically. They would rather live with both parents because both of them are an important part of their lives. Two parents are better than one!
Even though divorce is not commonly thought of as a good thing, it sometimes can have a positive outcome such as the children and parents being happy, and allowing the children to mature. Parents being separated can be better for the kids because they won’t have to deal with the parents fighting. If the kids are put in a better and stable environment it can affect them in positive ways. Sometimes divorce is better for the child if they have been in the environm...
In this twenty century, divorce is very common; especially in the America today, the country that focus on their citizen’s freedom. The term "common" here is not that every marriage couples will end up divorce, but it means that the society already accept and have an open might about divorce. In the article "The Making of a Divorce Culture" by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, she had mention that "divorce is now part of everyday American life. It is embedded in our laws and institutions, our manner and more, out movies and television shows, our novels, and children 's storybooks, and our closest and most important relationships." Everyone should have seen or at least hear about it once in their life from their own experience or from someone they