Personal Narrative: Why I Hate Me

You hate me and you obviously see me differently now and even when this whole fight began, but I just wanted to elaborate and spill every word and thought that I have been feeling and hiding all for the sake of you. I am have been feeling emotional and mentally broken. Even writing this is hard cause i dont know what to say or how to say it what should even be first, I am angry and depressed and lost because for the longest time I have been feeling irrelevant. This whole thing has felt like a friendship break up. And you want me to chill and move on but it is hard to forgive and forget because sometimes when youre with julianne its a display or a walking image or loss for me, of what hurt me. And you are just so happy you cant realize how hurt i am because

I feel like everyday i must remind you of how i feel just so you cant replace me because honestly i feel it, for a long time. And im tired of this and tired of fighting i want to be okay with this but idk how and i cant help but feel angry and sad cause i feel like bestfriends arent there for me anymore an dthey arent being real with. Becuase they cant be around soemone as stupid, hopeless and difficult as me and i though we would be there for eavh other but they use this space to torture you with glances and silence and im tired. Tired of fighting for apologizing for my wrongs and my insecurities. I just want to be happy and feel appreciated as much as i appreciate you guys. Everything just seems to be set around julliane there isnt time for a bestfrienf nowadays. And idk if im even yours anymore because i put you so much because im going through so much. I am lost. You are slipping away. And i feel like our memories and everthing about me or everything that you liked about me is gone from your mind. I dont feel appreciated. And i dont even like the attitude i get when i try to hug you or say i love you, because it seems like i cant love a friend