Personal Narrative: Overcoming Obstacles In My Life

The obstacles we face in life have ways of shaping and molding us into the people we become in the future. Depression and anxiety are issues that I still continue to deal with to this day. Yet, through years of self healing, I have been able to reveal a tenacious side of myself that I had no idea even existed. These issues stem from relentless bullying I experienced throughout middle school. I felt as if I was not worthy of respect like everyone else around me. Going to school day after day with people who detested my existence was unbearable. It was like walking into a lion's den wearing a necklace constructed of nothing more than meat. On many occasions walked in on conversations that I was the topic of. Eighth grade brought me the most turmoil. I would

get this gut wrenching feeling at the very thought of entering any area occupied by my bullies. For months I resorted to eating lunch in bathroom stalls.

I would go to arduous lengths to get a break from those making my life so miserable. Every day I came to school was another day for my tormentors to chip away at my self-esteem, my pride, and my worth. At this point in my life, I had stopped caring. I stopped hoping for things to get better. I was stagnant at rock bottom. In the midst of all the pandemonium, my only outlet was self-harming. It gave me a way to release all the pent-up anger and frustration I had for the downward spiral that had become my life. I was seeking control, and I thought that by hurting myself, I would be able to gain it. It did the opposite. I lost what little control I still had. I created a way of life for myself that was not only destructive but that was leading to even more malaise. I knew what I was doing was not going to ease my pain. I knew that it was not going to hide me from the wrath of my tormentors. Yet, I thought that having some control was better than having no control at all. It was the worst decision I could have ever made for myself. I was self-harming at every opportunity. I allowed my situation to consume me. I turned into a person I could no longer

recognize. I felt like I let the bullies win. I was punishing myself for other people treating me like garbage.
I knew this unhealthy way of living was going to be detrimental to my future. I knew that I could not continue with this bleak outlook on life. When the hardest year of my life finally ended, I decided that I was going to start taking better care of myself. The first day of summer vacation was the day I decided that I would no longer be the person I was in the past year. That was four years ago and also the last time I ever self-harmed. That summer I kept a journal and soon realized I had a knack for writing. I put my rose-colored glasses on and accepted life in all its entirety. Being able to pick myself up from my lowest point is something that I never thought I would be able to do. I learned that I am so much stronger than anything I go through. Even when life seems impossible, there is always a brighter side. Things do get better no matter how gloomy they might seem at the moment. That experience was the most grueling thing I have ever been through in all my life. Yet, I am the most grateful for those years. Even when pinned at rock bottom, I still managed to rise. My journey to self-healing is not over, but I take pride in knowing I made it through such a trying time.