Personal Narrative: My Life With Schizophrenia

My heart is pounding, hands sweating, vision blurry, what wrong with me? What is that horrible sweet sound? I finally came to my senses and realized that I’m doing terrible on my first violin solo. I can hear the scratchy sound of my strings, the judge stopped me and told me to start again, and so I position myself properly I held my violin proudly, my back was straight, and my wrist shaped like an L, I took a deep breath and held it I place my bow back onto my string and started to play but this time my bow was bouncing I was shaking I sound unskillfully but I can hear the soft sound of the piano playing along with me I was off beat once I bunch a note the pianist will play one of its keys we are supposed to be together so I stopped and

looked at the judge he had weird face expression like he just heard two cats fighting I knew I did awful and I felt ashamed of myself, I practiced but I guess I didn’t practice hard enough. After all the performance was over they put up a grading sheet telling who came in first or last place and sure enough I came in last place even a deaf girl name Maria came to second to last, I started to cry knowing I did terrible but I knew there will be more solos to come and I told myself since I’m only in seventh grade next year I will be more prepared and more confident that I will do better.

As a couple of years go by I found myself in my junior year of high school but early in the school year on December 21st my life was dramatically changed I was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Hearing voices really impacted my way of comprehending , emotions, and completing daily task, i was omitted twice and sent to two different hospitals to seek help with this condition, when i was in the hospital i was hearing over forty voices; voices of strangers and some of my family members, i remember hearing my mother's voice it softly said “you alright honey you just have to fight you are stronger than what you think just pray” and i thought it was my actual mother talkin to me but she was miles aways and then i started to cry because i asked myself why i'm hearing so many voices? how this could be? , and so i start to fight i took my medication, went to counseling, and went to groups that helped me get on track with my daily retains but i also reached out to my father; father God to help me with this disease i prayed and asked him to remove this burden off my back and to deliver me. By taking a month off from school i was behind i had seven classes to catch up to and i did pretty well but expect for my english class it seems so hard for me to understand the concept of what we was doing and i failed i was shocked i never failed any of my classes so this made me push myself even harder to complete task in

life.

From experiencing fails in my life i learn to accept my flaws and make the best out of myself. So now i am in Strings Orchestra and i now sit in the fourth chair almost the first, i learn to be confident in how i play and to play with my heart. But as for my schizophrenia i have overcome my condition i learn to work with myself to become a smarter person and i achieve that, i’m highly intelligent , humble and wise , and i am now healed i no longer hear voices and i give thanks for my father from delivering me.