I first became a mother on a very hot day in North Carolina on August 2008, to a 9 lb. 7 oz. girl. We moved to Texas when she was 7 months old and have lived here ever since; except the 6 months we lived in Canada during the winter. It was a great experience living there but it made me very grateful for Texas winters. Flash forward to now and I am a single mother of two strong willed girls one almost 9 and the other recently turned 5. I have been a single mom for almost 3 years now and the job is every bit as gratifying as it is exhausting. It has not been easy or simple, but I love the little family we have made. I have found an incredible source of independence and strength through being a single mom. I decided right after my divorce that I would accept it. This is not what I wanted for myself or my daughters; but this is my reality now. I can’t go back in time and change anything so I am accepting the situation for what it is and moving forward. My own mother was a single mom through part of my …show more content…
childhood. My teenage years were sometimes difficult because I didn't always have what other kids had. My mom worked hard for what we had and taught me to do the same. She made sure I had clothes every year for school. Sometimes it was from the mall and maybe not the latest fashion or sometimes even from a yard sale. She taught me the value of hard work. My first job was babysitter, and then when I was 15 I went on to become a waitress throughout high school. I worked to have my own gas money and help pay for my car payment. It was in the lessons I learned from her that I received what I needed the most; how to be independent, strong in faith, compassionate, and an overcomer. "Being a single mother is twice the stress and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride."- Unknown The biggest thing I have learned on this journey is the power of friendship. As a single mom you sometimes have to put aside your pride and ask for help. It's ok to outsource and let others help you. I have some amazing friends who have been there for me. I firmly believe God puts people in your life when you need them and how you need them. Another thing I have had to learn is that co-parenting is hard. I cannot control what they do or watch at their dad’s house. It is really hard to let go sometimes, they have a teenage stepbrother so they are sometimes exposed to watching shows I would never let them see. They are allowed to watch rated G and PG in my house. I think are times when you have to step in and talk to the other parent. I remember my 4 year old coming home and having nightmares because they let her watch Chucky. They are not the ones that have to deal with her having the bad dreams from watching a scary movie. I have always made sure to never say anything negative about him or their stepmom in front of my daughters. He has shown the same respect of not saying negative things about me. Yes, there are times when I call my friends and vent about his parenting decisions that I don’t agree with. I believe it is very important that they never hear me say anything negative about their father in front of them. When children hear bad things about one parent, they hear bad things about half of themselves. If they hear bad things about both their parents, they feel that both halves of themselves must be of little worth. There are situations that come up where my oldest daughter will say, “We are allowed to do this or watch this at dad’s house.” I just remind her that we have different rules at my house and when she is at my house she needs to follow those rules. We both have different ways of parenting and that is ok. An upside I have found being a single mom is that I can recharge while they are away at their dads.
Even though it is only 8 days of the month; I cherish that time I can get rest and renewal. Many of us arrive to motherhood in different ways; but no matter how you became a mom the fact remains that motherhood is hard. Whether you are a single mother or not, motherhood can be frustrating and exhausting but it can also be fulfilling and rewarding as well. I read an article the other day called "The one thing you must tell your child" from thebettermom.com. There were a couple of things that stood out to me when I was reading it. Our children need to hear us say, "I will always love you. Nothing you do will make me stop loving you." "Just like God loves us, we will always love them. God never gives us on us and we will never give up on them." I agree we should tell our children often. They need to be reminded that we love them even when you are angry with
them. My oldest is turning 9 in a couple months. The last year has been challenging with her attitude and behavior as she is approaching the "tween" years. Our weeks are full of practices and trying to squeeze in some fun after a long day of work. On Saturday's and Sunday's we have quiet time. My youngest takes a good nap and it's a chance for meet to sneak in a short nap or work on some things on my to-do list. This is a challenging time for my 9 year old; she struggles with just taking an hour to have some quiet time to herself without coming into my room to ask a question or tell me she is bored. We have had several talks about it and about how I need to have some quiet time and how she needs to have the quiet time for herself as well. They share a room so I think it is good for them to take some time apart from each other. The other day, after getting in trouble, she came into my room while we were having quiet time and had made me a sandwich and brought it to me with a note. Dear mommy, I have not listened to you here lately. I am going to change that now. I hope you can forgive me. I love you with all my heart. I will respect you I’m not just saying that. I am going to show you that I do. Know that I love you. So I wrote a letter back to her. I wanted her to be able to read much her words mean to me. She had taken the time to think about what she had been doing and the choices she was making. Dear Daughter, Thank you for your letter. I am sorry I have not listened to you lately. I’m sorry that I told you just one more minute and let me finish what I am working on and then I will listen to you. I am going to change that now. I will take the time to stop what I am doing and listen. I hope you can forgive me. I love you with all my heart. I will respect you, and I’m not just saying that, I will show you that I do. Please know that I will always love you and nothing you can do will ever make me stop loving you. I wish I could freeze these moments like this. Record them so I could play the over and over again. To me this is what motherhood is all about. We have the hope that the good moments outweigh the bad ones. But sometimes we have to have the hard moments in order to have the good ones. Sometimes it's in the trenches, through the hard moments of parenting, that we learn the most. You learn a lot about yourself and I’ve found it's prevailing through these hard times that define us. I read a quote somewhere that said, "I don't want to survive motherhood, I want to thrive in motherhood." I don't want to just go through the motions of parenting; I want to be present in each moment for my girls. I want to teach them to be strong, independent, and compassionate women when they grow up. It's not what you do for your children, but what you teach them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. "Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed."- Linda Wooton
W. S. Ross once said “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” As simple as this quip may sound, its complex implications are amplified through the life of every person born since the beginning of humanity. What attribute makes a mother such an extraordinary influence over her young? One such attribute is the ability to nurture. Beyond the normal challenges of cooking, cleaning, schooling, singing, feeding, and changing is the motivation by which such sacrifices are made possible. One cannot raise a child without mutual respect. Emotion and anxiety must drive her instincts. Her ability to foster is only heightened by minute personal imperfections and overwhelming responsibility that lead to a lack of confidence. Yet the prevailing characteristic that separates a ‘birth giver’ from a ‘mother’ is the unconditional, undying, and at times underestimated love for her child. To be a mother in the purest sense, she must embrace this notion of nurture.
"Love cannot remain by itself — it has no meaning. Love has to be put into action and that action is service."
We as parents have become older, and we lived our lives. It is now our Children’s turn to live theirs and hope, as parents, we did most of what we had to do as God had wished us.
I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one
Undeniably, this corroborates the fact that joint custody positively impacts children as they have more than one emotional input to turn to when
At first, I had a hard time trying to find an older person to interview, because I did not want to interview my family since I’ve lived with them my whole life. While I was getting ready to interview my friend’s parent, I started reading the questions to myself, and I realized that I do not know the answer to them if I ask my parents. I chose to interview my mother because I have never sat down with her and have a serious deep conversation with her. I realized that I am closer to her than my father, but I’m not as close as I thought I was with her, and it broke my heart when I finally realized that. At the age she is, I finally realized that I have been taking advantage of her and I refused to live this way with her. This interview was emotional for both of us, and it also brought us closer to each other. I am so grateful and happy I did this interview with her.
Motherhood has taught me many life lessons. Before becoming a mother, I was a self centered child. I had no motivation to succeed. All I was worried about was where the next party was. At that time I had no want to try because I was so scared to fail. I was slowly progressing to go nowhere and do nothing with my life. That has all changed now. I no longer party or use drugs. I work full time, attend college full time and devote my all to my children. Without them I would probably be in a jail cell not where I am today.
Becoming a mom at sixteen was the hardest thing I have ever done. Trying to work, go to school and take care of my daughter seemed impossible. My mom was always there to support me, but from the moment I found out I was pregnant I was determined to do it on my own. When you become a mom at sixteen the paths you can take in life change, and you are no longer a teenage you become an adult really fast.
Privileged to say the least, I was born into the opportunity of living and growing up in San Diego. Surrounded by both parents and a younger brother for most of my life, I was raised and attended school in the Ocean Beach area.
Why did you choose this article? Obviously, being a mom means more than having given a birth to a child. It is loving, caring and devoting the whole life to raise my child to become a good, happy and successful person in life. This is a toughest and high intensive full time job with many requirements, but without salary payment. Like other moms on the world, I want to find out the most suitable parenting strategy for my child, as it is the determinant factor in child development, and also affects my child’s psychological and social functioning. I realized that the way I raise my child is often similar to the way I was raised by my parents, but it seems difficult and challenging to clearly understand, accept and modify my parenting style. My
Instead of feeling that you need to replace your wife or your husband for your kids, why don't you focus on what you need to provide or give to them? Being a single parent is not a reason for you to feel guilty. You should rather be proud that your sons and daughters have you.
Becoming a mother has been the best part of my life. I became a mother at a very young age. I had no idea what to expect and was not in the least prepared for the journey that lie ahead. I have truly embraced motherhood and enjoy all the wonderful things it has taught me. While living through motherhood, I have found that it can teach you the most valuable lessons there are to learn. Being a mother has taught me how to have patience. I have also learned that being a mother takes a lot on mental and physical strength. My children have been the best to teach me how to juggle many tasks at once. They have made me strong. Even through some unexpected turns, I have learned how to get through hard times and really learn what it means to never give up. My children are my biggest blessing, and I hope they will learn valuable lessons through me. The skills I have learned from being a mother have helped me in my college journey.
Is being a single mother a the most inspiring, difficult, demanding, and rewarding job in the that a person can have? I always looked up to my mother as a loving and caring inspiration to me and others who she came in contact with. Even though I always looked at my mother as a role model she is not perfect, I watched her make mistakes such as abusing prescription medication she received due to an injury, spend money irresponsibly, and procrastinate time and time again. My family has battled hardship, adversity, and lack from the time I was old enough to realize what was happening in the world around me. A mother’s actions in life can leave permanent impressions on her children. I have adopted good and bad habits from my mother. I also learned from her mistakes which made me the person I am today. When I was young she was my inspiration because of the good moral character she possessed. Now that I have seen some of the negative and bad decisions that she made affect her life and everyone that lives with her I strive to do the opposite and make good life changing decisions such as eliminating procrastination and staying away from drugs. A person, especially a mother can be defined by their actions during these tough times. My mother has always been the most
Social Development has not prepared individuals to be single parents. Single mothers and single fathers need to establish strong support networks, personal friendships, and positive parenting skills. They need to learn how to synchronize the demands of work, home-care, and supervision of children (Benson, 1993). They need to enforce limits, rules, and boundaries consistently, and to transmit responsibility and values, in order to raise responsible, self-controlled, and healthy children (Cloud, and Townsend, 1998). They need to find ways to improve and maintain their self-esteem. Many single parents learn to live on reduced incomes, find acceptable ways to deal with non-custodial parent, and redefine their relationships with their children. These are but a few of the challenges facing single parents (Benson, 1993).
Single parenting is probably the toughest thing to do. I was 15-years-old when I met my daughter’s father. We met in Middle School, and we were in a relationship for 5 years. I had our daughter when I was a 19-year old senior in High school. My daughter’s father and I made the mutual decision to part ways due to a lot of complications in our relationship. Throughout the years, we’ve had many ups and downs. Our relationship was a roller coaster. My daughter’s father is still very much in her life, and we try our best to co-parent, but even though we co-parent, it is still very hard to do things on my own. Single parenting gets difficult at times and I never thought I’d be ‘one of those girls’ who has to do something like parenting alone, but here I am doing it, and there’s no other way I’d have it. I’m happy to be the mother of a very beautiful smart 3-year-old. I’m happy to be faced with challenges that have me pushing to do better and be better, as single mother.