Personal Narrative: Falling And Getting Back Up

Falling and Getting Back Up Depression is defined as a mood disorder that can affect all aspects of your daily life. At a fairly young age, I had been diagnosed with chronic depression. Since I had been diagnosed, six long hard years have passed, resulting in a total of two suicide attempts. These six years and two attempts on my life have molded me from a child into a young adult. A child’s world is always planned and scheduled around them. They don’t ever have to expect something to change. However, this is not the case for me. My change happened when my father and stepmother divorced and I had been transferred from the school system I’d been in my entire life to the neighboring one. That’s a lot for a twelve year old to take in at the

I’ll admit, even I didn’t want to pay attention to my depression. I had a sort of dark energy that was growing like a tumor, only I couldn’t just simply cut it out. As soon as high school began, I found myself observing my friends and the way they talked to me. They certainly weren’t rude, but at the same time they weren’t welcoming. Those people I had been friends with since kindergarten were slowly excluding me from activities and even conversations at the lunch table. I didn’t really have to take a wild guess as to why either. My depression was worsening and I had no longer been fun to be around. As freshman year continued, I hit one major road bump: a bully. He would bully me on Facebook saying that I post too much about my favorite band, One Direction. At the time their music was the only thing that made me feel happy, so the fact that somebody was making fun of me for loving them hurt. This continued for the rest of the school year. It was late March when I made my first suicide attempt that landed me in a hospital for a week. The night that I had chose to try and end my life for the first time was painful and every feeling I had in my body was gone. I felt empty and numb. I felt as if I was already dead, but still breathing. While in the hospital though, there were many other youths such as myself in similar situations. We all helped and talked to each other. Through all of the group therapy by the end of the week I had changed my idea of how life is “supposed” to