Personal Narrative-Cultural Self Analysis

I am a 52-year-young white female, with ethnicity that spans from England and Ireland to

Belgium and France. I am an American citizen by birth, having lived my entire life in

Tennessee, save a short stent in California as a child. I was at the tail end of the Baby Boomer

generation, and my best childhood memories are of the 70’s, when bell bottoms and hip huggers

were the rage, and walking down an alley to buy penny candy didn’t raise alarm bells. Although

my family was not involved in politics, today I would definitely label myself as a conservative

who follows her heart when voting. I am a spiritual being and a follower of Jesus Christ. Like

my aunts, mother, and siter, I grew up fast, marrying and having my first child

at the age of 16.

I’ve been married to my soul mate for 31 years. Together, we have four grown children (two

married boys and two single girls) and have just become empty nesters in the last month. We’ve

been waiting for this day for a very long time, and we are enjoying every minute of it! What

would you see if you walked past me on the street? You’d see someone whose smooth skin

belies her age (genes on my maternal side) but whose gray hairs (genes on my paternal side) are

peeking through the dark brown dye and whose body is fighting the extra pounds that are a gift

of my genes (on both sides). I’m smart but I often lack confidence in myself and worry that I am

not “good enough.” Even this is part of my family heritage. I learn best through reading and

highlighting text, as well as listening and voraciously taking notes.

I’m also an anti-

procrastinator, evidenced by the fact that I’d read the entire textbook for this class and 9 chapters

of the textbook for my other class before the first class meeting. If I’m not weeks ahead on my

assignments, I’m panicked, so you might say I’m a little “high strung.” My maternal family has

a history of depression and a high number of suicides, so my high-strung nature could emanate

CULTURAL SELF-ANALYSIS4

from that. Grades and positive feedback are motivators for me. Because of the way I push

myself, I am always busy and multi-tasking, rarely letting myself relax. I am healthy and happy,

and I look forward to retirement and a change from the hustle and bustle that has been my life so

Key Components of Culture

Who am I? How did I come to be in TN? What makes me live and act the way I do?

These are a few of the questions I posed to my mother and my Aunt Ann. I learned some

interesting things I never knew before. My mother’s family, as far back as I researched, always

lived in the same town. They were very involved in each other’s lives on a daily basis, and a

favorite family quote through the generations is “you can’t let a fart without the whole

family

hearing how it smelled.” My father’s family, on the other hand, is very reserved and reticent,

they rarely get together, and they are definitely not involved in each other’s daily lives. Both my

parents describe themselves are coming from “poor white trash,” living in areas seeped in

poverty. Their fun included dancing, quilting, and just gathering with friends and family. We

have pictures and fragments of quilts going back multiple generations, most of them made from

flour sacks. Also, because both my parents grew up in extremely poor conditions, taking care of

money has been ingrained in me from birth. The fear of being unable to provide the next meal or

pay the electric bill is a very real remembrance for both my parents. My mother was the oldest

of five children in a poverty-stricken shack, so she never had a doll or toys growing up (M. Toy,

personal communication, January 16, 2016). Because of this, there was never a year growing up

that I didn’t get a doll for Christmas, many of them put up on shelves and not meant for playing.

My mother’s dresses were made of flour sacks, and shoes were ill-fitted and worn. Aunt Ann

said they didn’t have indoor plumbing or water until she was around 12 years old (A. Toy,

CULTURAL SELF-ANALYSIS5

personal communication, January 16, 2016), and my mother was grown and married by that

time. Alongside the poverty my parents experienced, education took a back seat to working. My

grandfather only completed 1st grade, my grandmother finished 8th, and my mother dropped out

of high school as well (A Toy, personal communication, January 16, 2016). Generations back,

records show my family on both sides were manual laborers, with both lineages working in grist

mills. My brother and I are the first people in our extended family to graduate from college. As

for technology, television and radio were luxuries meant for others, not because of a lack of

interest in these items, but because basic needs took priority (M. Toy, personal communication,

January 16, 2016). What about my family’s overall philosophy? Hard work is the overarching

part of that philosophy; my grandfather worked in the saw mill and farmed, and my grandmother

and her sisters were hired out to live and work in wealthy homes. At times when my mother was

young, she and her two older siblings were sent to live with relatives because there was not

enough food to feed everyone (M. Toy, personal communication, 2016). There, they worked to

earn their keep until times improved. Being on time (“early” is on time) and effusive manners

are culturally significant, not only in recent generations, but stretching back to the rules and

mores of England and Ireland as well. Religion is another part of my cultural heritage.

Honoring God by living a holy, moral life was important throughout my extended family, and

multiple ancestors were preachers and even started churches (A. Toy, transcribed records, n.d.).

For my mother’s family, race was never an issue. She and her siblings had a black caregiver

named Lucinda and were raised to accept people from all backgrounds (A. Toy, personal

communication, January 16, 2016). They actually felt more discrimination in their area based on

socio-economic status. Blacks and white alike were ostracized in the community because they

were poor and lived in saw mill shacks. Because of the widespread poverty in my family’s

CULTURAL SELF-ANALYSIS6

history, generosity to those less fortunate permeates our being. We are inclusive and giving

toward anyone in need, and that generosity crosses all barriers of race, religion, and person

philosophy. I’d say this is a cultural hallmark of my family. Also, there is a cultural importance

of maintaining family relationships. Yearly reunions are still held in honor of my great

grandmother’s birthday each year, and every holiday means extended family members gather to

celebrate. A few other random things that are part of my culture: snow cream, peanuts in our

coke, and chocolate gravy with biscuits, and lots of sugar and butter in everything we cook.

Both Irish and Belgian cultures love their food and their beer.

Finally, let’s take a look at the culture of my ancestral heritage and see how this fits into

the person I am today. I decided to focus on Belgium, since this is the area I know least about

and because it allows me to introduce my father’s cultural roots into my equation. When my

father died, my grief led me to obsessively want to know everything I could about his family.

His father was 68 when he was born, and he died with my father was only about 4 years old, so

daddy knew nothing about his family. I researched, and I actually found two books about his

lineage. I drove to Dickson, TN, to read one of them, and the book tells how my line of the

Vandervoorts moved to TN after they struck oil in Pennsylvania. It lists the thirteen children of

my great-grandparents. Then the book says, “Information on Cyrus…is unknown” (Vandivort,

1987, p. 10). When I read this, my heart raced! I…WE…were that missing branch! My

grandfather is Cyrus! I actually researched the author online, found his phone number on

whitepages.com, and called him. Subsequently, he invited me to a family reunion, where I was

able to meet these people who were our long-lost kin. It was a bittersweet reunion, as my father

had already passed. However, I still keep in touch with some of these people who are actually

my cousins.

CULTURAL SELF-ANALYSIS7

As I researched more of my Belgian roots, I found that Belgium culture includes French

as its main language, but I know my own ancestor was Wallon (Jensen, 1992), which is also used

by 1/3 of the population (“Belgium – Language, Culture, Customs,” n.d.). My paternal ancestors

were some of the first settlers in NY, arriving aboard the Unity in 1624, not for religious reasons,

but to seek their fortune (Jensen, 1992). Family is the first priority there, with multiple

generations living near each other. Families in Belgium believe the old adage that “cleanliness is

next to Godliness” (“Belgium – Language, Culture, Customs,” n.d.), and therefore take great

pride in the appearance of their person and their home/land. I found it interesting that they greet

like sexes with three kisses on the cheek, as a sign of informality. They believe in conservative

dress, formal rules for dining, and the “clean plate club” to avoid waste. Earlier, I noted that my

father and I are both reserved, reticent people, and I discovered that Belgians are considered to

be careful and prudent in forming relationships. Also, they place a great importance on

timeliness, as do the English from my maternal side. Because Belgium is small and relatively

flat, biking is part of the culture (“Belgian Cultural Clichés,” n.d.). These people are not fazed

by the rainy weather, but they do get highly involved in politics. Their culture has been known

for brewing beer for years on end, and French Fries are also a traditional food, along with

chocolate and waffles (“Belgian Cultural Clichés,” n.d.). Not only do the Belgians love food, but

the Irish do as well (“Living in Ireland,” n.d.). Belgians are known to have a great sense of

humor, and I see this in my father, who was able to take just about everything in stride without

getting bent out of shape over it. Most importantly of all I read is what I can relate directly to the

first relative I trace to America in New Netherlands. Joris Janes de Rapalie, whose daughter

married Paul Vandervoort, came from a family who, according to the book Famous Families of

New York, “were famous for their valor and patriotism. Many of them took part in the crusades,