Pastor Von Hoofens Satire

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who then became the owner of the Minutemen's Inn. The rest of the story was interpreted by the wagging tongues of Revere one of two ways: the first, I died in my sleep, and the second, an old portrait was smashed over my head, which cracked my skull and left a bloody mess. The more dramatic interpretation was most popular. Pastor von Hoofen rebelled against the festivities of Christmas. He felt justified by the writings of the clergy of colonial Massachusetts and a few contemporary residents. The history books say the Puritans abhorred Christmas celebrations. If caught, Christmas observers paid a five-shilling fine, nothing to laugh at in those days. Corliss Bowdoin, Esquire of the widely known Bowdoin family of Down East (Maine), annually …show more content…

Stocks, made of boards placed around the ankles and wrists of the offender,’ force the person to sit in a fixed position, unable to exercise physical freedom. In earlier times, the unfortunate who found themselves in stocks were the target of insults, kicking, tickling, and sometimes even spat on. "Oh, I don't believe this," von Hoofen said; however, he was stuck. Whoever did this has to be human. I demand that you be released." Keziah and the minuteman chuckled. "You've insulted my guests and the very spirit of the Minutemen's Inn with your disrespect for the tradition of Christmas. Your punishment, Nicholas von Hoofen, will be to hear the wonderful poem, A Visit from St. Nicholas. You will earn your freedom by memorizing every word." Keziah recited the poem, "five-hundred-thirty-six-words pastor, surely that's no more than a short sermon." The pastor fought Keziah the only way he could—with silence, as the poem was recited over and over to him by Miss Adams, but the words had become familiar. Soon, he was able to recite half of the verse. Then something extraordinary

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