Ordinary People: Family Therapy And The Jarrett Family

Ordinary People is a movie that chronicles the struggles of a “normal” family reamed by the death of their eldest child Bucky and the attempted suicide of their youngest, Calvin. The Jarrett’s are a middle class family in the suburbs of Chicago who, at least to outside appearances, have a fairly typical life, though we learn this is in fact not the case. Conrad has just returned from the hospital and seems to be experiencing not only depression but also PTSD. Conrad is the seemingly identified patient, even though the whole family is struggling in their own way, especially Beth. We start to see the background of the Jarrett family through Calvin’s therapy sessions with his new therapist, Dr. Berger.
Through these flashbacks we see Buck, the

oldest brother, a smart and well-loved athlete who seems to have the favor of their mother Beth. In fact, one of the only times we see Beth really happy and smiling is in a flashback with Buck. We also learn that Buck died in a tragic sail boating accident with Calvin. Calvin has repeated flashback to the accident and displays some survivor’s guilt because he lived and Buck did not. In my opinion, deep down Conrad feels as though Buck was the favorite and loved by everyone and if he would have died the family would have been less disrupted and hurt by the loss of him over Buck. The first time we see Conrad and his mother interact it is apparent how cold and distant their interactions are. Beth almost seems to ignore him when he talks and attempts to avoid long in-depth conversations with him. During one scene in the film, Conrad and his mother cannot even take a photo together at Christmas without appearing uncomfortable to be in such close proximity to each other. Calvin, the father, seems to preoccupy himself with worrying over his living son in order to not have to deal with his crumbling relationship with his wife and the tragic death of Bucky. Nobody in the family really seems to be dealing with the loss of Bucky. They are just “moving on” and making the illusion of coping and accepting his death and Conrad’s attempted suicide. No one is facing their true feelings.
I think it is fair to assume that no one in the family has adequate coping skills. Repression and running away seems to be the main method for the family in the way of coping. The capability to feel real pain seems stunted in this family. In the case of Conrad, we see that for him it is easier to not have many feelings about anything at all than it is to have to deal with the negative emotions associated with his brother’s death and his growing isolation from his mother. For him, it is better to feel nothing at all. He even blocks out chances to feel happy and fulfilled by relationships with others. Calvin, on the other hand, copes with his emotions by filling his time with worrying about his surviving son. In doing this, he doesn’t have to face the fact that his marriage has become cold and unloving or that he lost an important person in his life, his oldest son. Beth, in my opinion, has the most toxic coping skills of all. She copes by ignoring and running away from what is happening in her life. She has lost control of her “perfect life” after the death of Bucky and instead of dealing with it she is absent, both emotionally and physically. A good example of this is how Beth did not even cry at her son’s funeral, something that would seem typical of a grieving mother. Another great example of Beth running away from her problem is when her husband finally opens up to her about what he is feeling and her response is silence and leaving to go on a trip. In fact, she sneaks off into her room to cry rather than dare shed a tear in front of her husband. She would rather run than face the problems of her crumbling family head on.
I think it would beneficial for Calvin, Conrad and Beth to all engage in family therapy together. Experimental family therapy is an approach I might take if I was to treat the Jarrett family. According to Family Therapy History Theory and Practice (2011), the essential feature of this method is that “individuals in the families are not aware of their emotions or if they are aware of their emotions they suppress them” (Gladding, 2011, p. 231). From the examples stated previously, it is very obvious that the Jarrett family represses many of the emotions they feel. Since no feelings are being properly communicated and conveyed, an atmosphere of emotional numbness appears. When this type of environment is created, there is a tendency for every family member to distance themselves from one another and engage in other happenings. We see a perfect example of this when Beth continually involves herself in activities at the community center, parties and games of golf instead of engaging her with son.
One of the main goals in experimental family therapy is to work on interpersonal skills in order to intensification self-awareness of the family members (Gladding, 2011, p. 232). Many times the clients try access and subconscious thoughts and feelings through activities like guided imagery, use of props and role playing. In a study about the importance of experimental therapy author David Carson (1991) stated, “the creative therapeutic environment encourages spontaneity and free expression, often through intense, invigorating stimulation and interaction” (Carson, 1999). There are two ways to split up experimental therapist and there techniques either, therapist who use few techniques or therapist who use structured techniques. I would choose to use more structured techniques for the Jarretts. Not only would I feel more comfortable with this type of procedure, I feel that it would be an easier therapy to carry out and see results for the Jarrett family.
There are many techniques that experimental family therapy uses like “I” messages, family reconstruction, touch and even humor. One method I would use for the Jarrett family would be family sculpting. In this practice, family members are physically placed in positions that embody the relation they have to one another in specific incidents. This is an optical and spatial exercise. Family sculpting is a visual representation by an individual person of present family situation. Arrangements can be characterized by emotional themes like conflict, alliances or distancing.
There are three roles that are involved in family sculpting. The roles include a sculptor of the portrait, sometimes referred to as the director; they are responsible for sculpting the positions. Next is a facilitator, they are the ones who guide the sculpting; typically this is the therapist. Lastly are the family members, who observe and comment during the response stage. Once the roles are filled, the next four steps follow. The first step is called setting the scene. This is where the facilitator guides the sculptor in setting up the situation they desire to recreate. The sculptor is typically asked to visualize the scene that want to explore. The facilitator may ask questions to help with this process. Some information about the scene can include the lighting, noteworthy objects in the room and the size or shape of the room.
The second step is choosing the role players. In this phase, the sculptor selects other members to represent other members of the family, like the mother, father and themselves. Any member of the family origin or person’s living in the home can be a part of the sculpting. This can even include deceased individuals.
After the roles are chosen the next step is creating the sculpture. The sculptor is instructed to inform each player about crucial information pertaining to the member they are playing. The players are then placed in a precise spatial symbolic placement relative to other members and themselves. Important indicators of the sculpture can include touching, distancing, facial expressions and even positioning of arms or legs. Occasionally, the facilitator may ask questions to help the sculpture process like what is going on in the sculpture and how do you feel about your placement in the family?
The last and final step is processing the sculpture. Here, the facilitator starts to cultivate a meaning to the sculpture that is created from the perspective of the sculptor. This step is where all the other participants partake in a debriefing and de-roling. It enables the participant to gain new insights that could increase reactions and perceptions. Patterns of associations, boundaries and relationships can noticeably be seen in this step. Feedback is also given during this phase, which helps give support and validation to what the sculptor experienced (Costa 1991).
This exercise can allow the Jarrett family to communicate in an essentially nonverbal way both their thoughts and emotional state. The technique of family sculpture could also allow the each member of the Jarrett family to gain more understanding in how they personally affect the continuing interactional cycle and see any emotional themes that exist. By seeing these factors displayed physically, it could be a vehicle for transformation for the family. I feel that this technique would be very beneficial for the whole family, particularly Conrad and Beth who seem to have trouble with articulating and expressing their feelings. By using family sculpting, the Jarrett’s are able to see their family situation truthfully more straightforwardly instead of just discussing it.
In the structure family therapy the therapist is looked at as a facilitator to help the family along in their therapy. They generate an environment where member feel they can express and verbalize, at the same time promoting transformation. A therapist wants to boost the family’s ability to become more open. The therapist is essential in assisting family members find their true roles with in the family while encouraging each person to discover their individualism. The role of a therapist needs to be involved and the more involved a therapist is with the family the more able they are to produce results (Gladding, 2011, p. 242).
I think both Calvin and Beth could benefit themselves from emotionally focused therapy as while as experimental family therapy with Calvin.

According to the research done by Susan Johnson, “emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT), now recognized as one of the most researched and most effective approaches to changing distressed marital relationships” (Johnson, Hunsley, 1999). The effects on this therapy show that it continues to be steady over time for the relationship as well (Halchuk, Makinen, Johnson, 2010). This approach has a focus on the disclosure of feelings, something that seems difficult for the Jarrett family. Beth, in particular, seems to avoid most emotional contact with both her husband and son, especially when the conversation involves talking about how they feel about Bucky’s death. One perfect example of Beth avoiding her emotions over her son’s death is the story Calvin tells about her making him change his shirt for the funeral. She would rather worry about what he is wearing than the pain that her son’s death has caused. It is as though Beth sees emotions as almost weak and something that is not helpful in overcoming her son’s death. In fact, we see many times when both Beth and Calvin avoid having arguments, instead of saying how they feel. They seem to repress most emotions because they do not want to deal with their relationship on top of everything else that is going on, even though it would help them to express how they are

feeling.
The basis of this therapy is in each partner having a secure attachment to one another. Emotionally focused therapy attempts to create more secure attachment between couples. This therapy wants each member to see emotions as something that can invoke change in the person. When a couple has a relationship problem it is typically because they feel disconnected emotionally from their partner in crucial moments. This leads to a pattern of negative reactions and emotions. Emotionally focused therapy also works under the assumption that once a member starts to express how they are feeling, they not only become more self-aware but, they actually profit from the discharge of their suppressed emotions. In emotionally focused therapy, the therapist is to “provide a safe environment for the release of positive and negative emotions” (Gladding, 2011, p. 189). This enables a place for the couple to feel encouraged to express their feelings.
There are nine total steps broken up into three stages in the process of emotionally focused therapy. In stage I, the patients and therapist work on what is called the cycle of de-escalation. This consists of steps one through four. During this phase each partner identifies any negative interaction that may the major cause of relationship difficulties. The couple attempts to see behind the defensiveness to uncover any destructive emotions they are experiencing. The couple discovers all those negative interactions that stem from the longing to be emotionally attached to their significant other.
During stage II, which contains steps five through seven, there is a reconstruction of the couple’s interactions. This is done in order to accomplish secure attachment to one another. The main therapeutic objectives in this stage are blame softening and withdrawer engagement. Often when in a conflict couples have an interaction form where one companion is apt to be critical while the other companion withdrawals from the difficult conflict. Both of the techniques mentioned are utilized in order to enable each partner to feel more comfort in expressing hurt and reservations and asking to be consoled while the formerly critical companion does the same. The therapist has a goal of helping each member understand how their feelings and emotions develop in the context of their relationship.
Lastly, there is stage III, consisting of the final steps eight and nine. It is here that couples have a concentration on consolidation and integration of their therapeutic objectives. At this stage a therapist helps couples look at their new constructive interaction cycles while discussing the provoking’s of the original negative interaction sequence. Couples also reflect on their enduring struggles and issues. The therapist in this stage helps clients continue to help clients continue to have effective problem solving skills and continue to consult them on their progress as a couple (Greenman, Johnson 2013).
The ultimate end game in using emotionally focused therapy for Beth and Calvin would be to create a more secure attachment to each other. Beth and Calvin also will hopefully, learn how to have a new positive interaction cycle to replace the negative one that they are currently in. Emotionally focused therapy would give Beth and Calvin the tools necessary to properly express their needs and wants and reciprocate mutual respect to each other’s emotions. Another outcome that from emotional focused therapy would be the creating effective coping skills for both partners to deal with conflict that can arise in a relationship. Instead of running away from her problems or being ashamed of showing emotions, Beth could learn to express what she is feeling and combat her problems head on. She could see Calvin as a partner in her struggles and someone to lean on and express how she is feeling as a replacement for bottling it up. This could also have a spillover effect and Beth could learn to communicate positive emotions towards her son, increasing secure attachment. Both Calvin and Beth would have a safe environment to converse about their feelings and needs. Emotionally focused therapy is crucial for Beth and Calvin to generate a lasting bond together.
The movie Ordinary People is an effective movie at displaying how a family can be negatively altered by not displaying effective coping skills and dealing with their issues. Ordinary People is a film that highpoints the stigmatization that can come from seeking mental professional help but also helps watchers to understand why seeking mental health help and family therapy is essential.
Works Cited:
Costa, L. (1991). Family sculpting in the training of marriage and family counselors. Counselor Education And Supervision, 31(2), 121-131. doi:10.1002/j.1556-6978.1991.tb00150.x
Carson, D. K. (1999). The importance of creativity in family therapy: A
preliminary consideration. The Family Journal, 7(4), 326-334. doi:10.1177/1066480799074002
Gladding, S. (2011). Family therapy: History, theory, and practice (5ed.). Upper
Saddle River, N.J.: Merrill.
Greenman, P. S., & Johnson, S. M. (2013). Process research on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples: Linking theory to practice. Family Process, 52(1), 46-61. doi:10.1111/famp.12015
Halchuk, R. E., Makinen, J., & Johnson, S. M. (2010). Resolving attachment injuries in couples using Emotionally Focused Therapy: A three-year follow-up. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy,9,31–47. doi: 10.1080/15332691.2011.613306
Johnson, S. M., Hunsley, J., Greenberg, L., & Schindler, D. (1999). Emotionally focused couples therapy: Status and challenges. Clinical Psychology: Science And Practice, 6(1), 67-79. doi:10.10936.1.67