One Thing To Be Thankful For Me

I’ve racked my head for three days straight trying to figure out what I was going to write my gratitude entry on. I would find myself typing twenty thousand miles a minute then going back and erasing it just as fast. Truth is gratitude is a hard thing to realize and an even harder thing to show. Especially when you are at the point where you feel like the world has gave you absolutely nothing to be thankful for. That thought scared me beyond belief. Not the fact that I thought the world was plotting on me, but the fact that for three days I couldn’t find not one thing to be thankful for. My feelings kind of took a nose dive because I felt like it made me selfish and that I was taking everyone for granted. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly when I

However, this time they had picked the wrong conversation to do it on. This year I was dealt one of the hardest blows I had ever felt, besides the one that I received when my mother died. It was so painful that I found myself mentally doubled over with my arms wrapped around myself as if I was trying to keep myself together. My father had a disc in his lower back that was swollen twice the size it should be. I had learned this the night before when I was making fun of how he was walking hunched over. However, the severity didn’t quite hit me then because when he explained it to me, his tone of voice made it seem as if it was nothing that a couple of trips to physical therapy and a chiropractor couldn’t fix. Turns out my assumption was wrong. It was so far off track, that it would take a bus, plane, and train to arrive at the correct

With this piece of information, I begin mentally trying to figure out how I could get all my college classes transformed to online. I knew that if push came to shove I could just take a year off college. He needed me more. My father on some conscious level must have realized my solution, because before I could voice it, he informed us that after the surgery he planned on moving into a rehab facility. I was beyond angry. This would make it so much harder to see my father. Even while being away at college my access to him was never this cut off. I fear that something could go wrong and I won’t be able to reach him in time. I could feel the resentment toward life starting to sink in deep and it was spilling out whenever I addressed someone. Later that night when I was scrolling through Facebook contemplating whether I should ask my friends for prayers, my eyes scrolled across something in the status slot, “Let people know what you are grateful for?” At that moment I couldn’t. I felt like my world was crashing down upon me. After thinking about it for a while it dawned on me that I didn’t have to be grateful about a situation, but instead I could be grateful for the people in the