My Most Important Values

Every person has a set of values that they strongly believe in. Some of these values are simple things such as do not interrupt others or respect those around you. Some values are also more complex. My most important value is to forgive, but not to forget. I know we all should forgive and let it go, but in my mind forgiveness is the most important and easiest part. Forgetting is just something I cannot do. Some people tell me I hold grudges. I disagree. I do not understand how someone can be rude and hurtful to another person and that person will just “forgive and forget” about it. It takes quite a bit to make me angry, I am a pretty easy going person, so if I get mad at someone it is not for no reason. This a value I stand by because if someone does something hurtful to me, then I do not want them to be a part of my life. I do not want to surround myself with people who are going to constantly make me feel bad about myself. As I am sure no one does. This is a value I developed over time because too many times I forgave and forgot and it came back to bight me. Growing up, my mother gave me a phrase to think about and told me that when I was older it would make more sense. That phrase was “Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me.”

So to some it may seem like I do, in reality, hold grudges. From my point of view, holding a grudge is not forgiving someone and having resent for them over a long period of time. It is not letting go of the problem and being angry about it for a long time. So, no, I disagree, I do not hold grudges. I forgive those who ask for forgiveness and respect them. Just because I choose not to forget about what they did to me does not make me bitter. It makes me tough, because I stood up for what I believed in and for myself. Besides, everyone says “forgive and then forget about it.” In reality, we always