My Favourite Subject Is My Favorite Subject

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My favourite subject was art plastique (and hmm writing stories). The only thing that for me doesn't require much intellectual energy.
I hated maths, only because I really wanted to be good at it but absolutely sucked at.
I was pretty much bad at everything, with an overall average (average grade of all the subjects combined) of 11/20.
Most of the time I barely tried. Having an average grade (in a subject) of 5/20 then 14/20 the next trimester, etc., but that's no excuse for being a failure.
I sucked at everything except art plastique, I had 16,5/20. The only subject I could help people at, often did my siblings'/friends' work. After that, there's English with 14/20, Spanish with 13/20 and history/geography with 13/20. P.E. (physical education) …show more content…

From how it was explained to me by her (and later researched by me), it really seems like some bullshit-y term made for "stupid" people who secretly wish/believe that they are geniuses in disguise.
If she thought there was some intellectual inhibition, she might as well tell me the truth, it's simply stupidity. Instead of coming up with some excuse.
She also told me that she thought I had an above average IQ. What. We barely communicated. And when we did, we only talked about me!! Of course, I'm extremely introspective/self-aware and know practically everything about myself that there is to know, and the subject is "me"! That she formed this opinion by barely conversing with me says more about how quick she is to judge based on little information than anything …show more content…

I rarely open my mouth, thus I'm much less likely to expose my stupidity to others.
I genuinely think that I'm an imbecile who is sort of mentally slow.
I've asked around, but no one but my mother seems to perceive it, she frequently calls me an "idiot". But I never believe a word she says, even though I think she's right. Anything besides "You're an idiot, Yamna." sounds utterly wrong.
I did a neuropsychological assessment weeks ago, which happened to include an IQ test (WAIS-IV). Needless to say, I think I performed terribly. But I haven't gotten the results yet, I'll get them next week. IQ tests are criticized and debatable (not very effective near the center of the bell curve), but if I am actually mentally slow or something surely it will be obvious enough to show up. Maybe with a low IQ of 70-85, something like that. I'd consider anything below the center of the bell curve, low and deficient, anyway.
(Caveat: I don't think everyone with an average IQ is actually stupid, obviously. Mostly thinking out loud.)
If somehow it shows up as average (90-109), then I don't understand what's wrong with me. And I think that something IS definitely wrong with my

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