Military

Thank God for our military

A Soldier, a Sailor an Airman and a Marine got into an argument about which service was the greatest. The arguing became so heated that they eventually ended up killing each other. Soon, they found themselves at the Pearly Gates of Heaven They meet St Peter and decided that only he would be the ultimate source of truth and honesty, so they osked him: "St Peter which branch of the American Armed Forces is the best?" St. Peter instantly replied: "I can't answer that. But I will ask God what he thinks next time I see him. Some time later, the four saw St. Peter again and reminded him of the question and asked if he was able to get an answer. Suddenly a sparkling white dove landed on St. Peter's shoulder. In the dove's beak is a note guilded with gold dust. St. Peter says to the four men, "Your answer from the Boss. Let's see what he says." St. Peter opens the note. Trumpets blare and gold dust drifts into the air. Harps play crescendos and St. Peter begins to read the note aloud to the four young men:

MEMORANDUM TO SOLDIERS, SAILORS, AIRMEN AND MARINES

SUBJECT: Best branch of the United States Armed Services

Gentlemen,

All the branches of the Armed Services are Honorable and Noble.

Being a member of the Armed Forces represents a special calling warranting special respect, tribute and dedication. Each of you has served his country well, with distinction, and beyond the call of duty.

Be proud of what you have accomplished.

very respectfully,

GOD

United States Air Force (Retired)

I want to be like Jesus

After dinner, a six- and a four-year-old were fighting over who would get the last cookie. Back and forth they went, "GIMME!" "NO, IT'S MINE!" Finally, the dad said, "Paul and John, listen to me. If Jesus were in this situation, he would say to the other one, 'You take the last cookie, because I love you'." The older one thought about it, then responded, "O.K. John, you be Jesus."

Oh-Man

A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally, one day, a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After a while the sailor notices three huts and asks if there is anyone else on the island. "No", rep...

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...ot; and gave it a press. Then the three-year-old yelled with glee, "NOW, WUN LIKE THE DICKENS!"

Code of Silence

Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence' and the Chief Priest said, "Brother, this is a silent monastery, you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so." Brother John lived in the monastery for a full year before the Chief Priest said to him: "Brother John, you have been here a year now, you may speak two words." Brother John said, "Hard Bed." "I'm sorry to hear that" the Chief Priest said. "We will get you a better bed." The next year, Brother John was called by the Chief Priest. "You may say another two words Brother John." "Cold Food." said Brother John, and the Chief Priest assured him that the food would be better in the future. On his third anniversary at the monastery, the Chief Priest again called Brother John into his office. "Two words you may say today." "I Quit." said Brother John. "It is probably for the best." said the Chief Priest. "All you have done since you got here is complain."