Men Don't Tell: A Movie About the Domestic Abuse of Men

The domestic abuse of men is a hidden side of domestic violence.

Billboards, radios and TVs across the country claim that every fifteen seconds a women is beaten by a man, but has anyone ever asked how often men are beaten by their spouses? Battered men often become the topics for jokes, such as the cartoon image of a wife chasing her husband with a rolling pin. In 18th century France, husband who had been pushed around by their wives would be forced by the community to wear women's clothing and to ride a donkey through the town, sitting backwards and holding its tail. Men abuse is a rarely discussed phenomenon. Even us, who like to concern ourselves modern and liberated, have a hard time believing such thing can actually happen.

In 1993, a movie called "Men Don't Tell" finally collected people's attention upon the issue of men abusing. The movie was about Laura MacAffrey, played by Judith Light, whom seems to be a perfectly pleasant person. However, she beats her husband. And because he's too frightened and humiliated to tell anyone, the abuse never stops. The National Violence Against Women survey shows that 1.5 million women and 835,000 men battered each year in United States (Chadwick, and Heaton 60). According to survey, men are the victims of domestic violence as often as women. In addition, many statistics prove that male-on-female violence has been slowly decreasing in recent years, but female-on-male violence is now increasing sharply.

Even if men abuse is a widespread issue of domestic violence, why we have hardly heard about it? The most important reason is that men are embarrassed to report their being victimized by their wives. From men's perspective, getting knocked down by another man is piece a cake compared to being beaten up by their wives. And many of them are afraid of the social reaction and laughter. Even when some of battered men are severely injured they will avoid going to hospital and telling people what they have been through. "Men are trained not to ask for help, and a man's not being able to solve his own problems is seen as a sign of weakness." Says Dr. Alvin Baraff, a psychotherapist and the founder of Men Center in Washington DC (Island 6).

There are still a few man who are willing to give up their dignity and call the police while they are abused by their wives.