Mean Girls Analysis

''Mean Girls'' isn’t merely the name of a cult Hollywood teen film. Sadly, this label fits adolescent girls in schools around the globe. If you are being pushed around or picked on by a mean girl, or a girl you know is the target of girl bullying, you need to learn how to handle the situation appropriately.

The National Educational Association defines bullying as “systematically and chronically inflicting physical hurt and/or psychological distress on another” by physical, verbal or social means. It happens repeatedly and there is a clear imbalance of power between the bully and the victim, meaning the victim may be smaller, younger, or unable to cope socially. http://www.nea.org/home/53359.htm Learn how to protect yourself from bullies by confiding in someone, speaking out, and

seeking supportive friendships.
[[Category:Dealing with Bullying]]
== Steps ==
===Calling Out Bullying and Relational Aggression===
#Confide in an adult or someone with authority. If you are encountering bullying or teasing at school or in a community environment, the best solution is to step forward and tell an adult. A teacher, coach, school counselor, community leader, or parent can all help you handle mean girls.http://teens.webmd.com/girls/features/dealing-with-mean-girls?page=4[[Image:Be Smart Without Being Nerdy Step 5.jpg|center]]
#*Don’t fall into the trap of thinking the bullying will get worse if you tell. Bullies threaten their victims like this to keep their negative behavior a secret. Exposing the bully is the only way you can stop the problem. If the first person you tell does not take action, keep telling until something changes.
#*Pull the person aside and explain the situation. “Excuse me, Ms. Carson. Melanie keeps pushing me whenever we are in line for recess.” Stick to the facts and ask for help.
#Be assertive by telling the mean girl to “stop!” You must be willing to show strength to fend off a mean girl who is teasing or calling your names. There’s no need to demonstrate your strength by being physical or even verbally abusive with the bully. Instead, use your voice to speak up for yourself with confidence.[[Image:Cope when Boys Tell You You're Fat Step 2.jpg|center]]
#*Your response to teasing or bullying doesn’t have to be grand. All you have to say is “Stop it” or “Knock it off” to send the message that you will not allow yourself to be mistreated.https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201501/helping-girls-cope-bullying-and-frenemies
#Use your body language to reinforce the message. Being assertive also crosses over to how you are holding your body and your facial expressions. Stand with your back straight, shoulders loose and your chin up. Make your facial expression serious to demonstrate that you are not joking around.https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201503/what-girls-can-say-and-do-stand-bullying
#Try to ignore subtle forms of mistreatment. Sometimes, mean girl behavior isn't so obvious. In such cases, it may be more difficult for you to call out the behavior and insist that the girl stop. Ignoring and trying not to demonstrate a negative reaction can help you in these instances.http://kidshealth.org/en/kids/bullies.html#
#*For example, if a girl is spreading rumors about you, but it's hard to prove, you might tell an adult. However, there's a chance it may not get resolved because no one wants to admit any wrongdoing. In this scenario, you may try to avoid showing any sort of response to the rumors and avoid talking to the people you think are involved.
#*Or, if a group of "friends" is ignoring you, you might stop trying to be included and act as if you don't notice their slights. If they don't get a reaction, the mistreatment may stop in its tracks.
#Fight back as a last resort. Of course, you want to avoid getting in trouble because you were forced to get physical with a bully. That’s why you should always try to get to an adult and assertively stand up for yourself when facing a mean girl. Using any sort of physical defense should be your last option.https://www.kidpower.org/library/article/prevent-bullying/
#*Self-defense should be used during times when you are completely alone and unable to call for help and a bully has physically harmed you. If this happens, try a defense like kicking the person in the shins and then running away.
===Protecting Yourself from Mean Girls===
#Report relational aggression. Schools often have rules against bullying, but there is a subtle, sneaky form of bullying called relational aggression that may go unnoticed. It’s important for you to be able to identify it so that you can know when it’s happening to you and protect yourself.
#*Relational aggression is more under-the-radar, less clear form of bullying that may involve being excluded from parties or play dates, teasing or calling girls names, giving the “silent treatment”, spreading rumors, not saving a seat for a friend, or using social media or cell phones to say mean things about another girl.https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201501/helping-girls-cope-bullying-and-frenemies
#*Although it is more subtle, you can still talk to your parents, teachers, and other adults about helping you take action against a mean girl who is using relational aggression. Find out how your school handles bullies so that you can handle the situation appropriately.
#Walk away from toxic friendships. In addition to standing up for yourself in the midst of bullying, you also need to make it clear that you find the behavior unacceptable coming from a friend. Have the courage to say goodbye to friends who make you feel bad about yourself or make fun of you in front of others.
#*You can walk away from the friendship by saying something like “The way you have been treating me hurts my feeling. That is not the way I expect to be treated by friends, so we’re not friends anymore.”https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201501/helping-girls-cope-bullying-and-frenemies
#Seek out friends who value and support you. Just as you should know how to identify and walk away from toxic friendship with mean girl, you also need to know what to look for in a positive friendship. Think about the people in your life who make you feel good about yourself and who seem to value your presence. Write down a few characteristics that you think define these people and use these as your standard for making new friends in the future.[[Image:Avoid Talking in Class Step 7.jpg|center]]
#*For example, a good friend uses kind words, offers help when it is needed, shares, stands up for you, cares about your feelings and opinions, and is there for you. Believe that you are worthy of positive friendships and seek out people who can offer you these types of relationships. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201501/helping-girls-cope-bullying-and-frenemies
===Helping Girls Cope (for Adults)===
#Offer a safe place for discussing bullying. If your daughter feels comfortable talking to you about problems at school, you are more likely to be able to intervene in a bullying situation and stop it before it gets worse. Usually, when bullying goes unchecked, the victim loses confidence about her ability to handle it. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201503/what-girls-can-say-and-do-stand-bullying
#*Make it normal in your household to discuss what’s happening at school Ask your daughter about friends and classmates. Listen without distraction to catch cues that something may be amiss. Provide comfort and guidance and tough situations and make sure she know she can count on you if necessary.
#Model healthy relational behaviors. Recognize that how you communicate with and treat other adults and adolescents is being observed by your children. If you are not modeling appropriate behaviors at home, such as respecting other’s boundaries, listening, sharing, and avoiding sarcasm or mean comments, it’s highly possible that your daughter will take what she learns to the school environment. Remember that if your child sees you model inappropriate relationship behaviors, she assumes that this behavior is OK. http://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/why-are-those-girls-so-mean/
#Present opportunities for her to resolve conflict. Your daughter’s ability to effectively cope with mean girls at school relies on how she has seen conflict handled at home. http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/mean-girls-why-girls-bully-and-how-to-stop-them?page=2 Furthermore, he having the confidence to stand up for herself comes with having practice navigating difficult relational situations.
#*Not only do you want to model appropriate ways of handling conflict, but you also want to present your daughter with chances to develop conflict resolution skills. By doing this, you are empowering her to handle difficult situations that may arise at school.
#*For example, you might find teachable moments when watching a movie together if a child in the movie is being bullied. You can quiz your daughter about appropriate ways to handle similar situations and see what she says. Based on her answers, you can use this opportunity to talk to her about bullying and how to protect herself or stand up for a friend when bullying happens.
#Teach empathy.http://www.brighthubeducation.com/parenting-teens/120621-teaching-teenagers-to-develop-empathy/ Many times in school settings mean girls gang up on another child who is an outsider in some way. Perhaps this child just moved to the area and is a new student at the school. Or, maybe this student is different in some way, such as race, culture, language, sexual orientation or disability.[[Image:Compromise with Your Parents Step 7.jpg|center]]
#*If you can help your child learn to develop empathy for all people—even those who are different—she may be less likely to become a mean girl.

What’s more, having empathy may also help your child who is the victim of bullying not internalize the behavior as being about her. An empathetic child may come to understand that a girl who constantly picks on others may be being picked on at home, having a dire need for attention, or hasn’t had the opportunity to participate in healthy friendships.

#*Teach empathy by first attending to basic emotional needs of your child. If those basic needs are met, then your child is more likely to show compassion and help others in need. Another way to teach empathy is to discuss bullying situations with your child and consider how the victim must feel. Saying things like “That must have been very humiliating for her” allows your child to identify how someone else may react to a situation emotionally.

#*Finally, you can teach empathy by giving your child opportunities to work alongside and help those who are less fortunate. It may be helpful to participate in a volunteer project in which your child becomes more aware of the circumstances of other

people.