Masculinity In Toni Morrison's Beloved

Men are not often acknowledged as victims of rape. Because of this fact, Paul D is left questioning his masculinity and in a sense his identity. Since he is not able to protect himself from being raped, he realizes the lack of control he has in his life, which he extends to love in general. If he cannot protect himself, he will not be able to protect others, especially the ones he cares the most about, his loved ones. Paul D does not allow himself to love fully, which is apparent in his criticism that Sethe’s “love is too thick” (193). As men are traditionally thought to be the providers and protectors of the family, Paul D is insecure about his ability to fulfill this role as a man. This uncertainty causes Paul D to prohibit himself to get too close to anyone and thus prevents himself to love too much as they can be taken away or he will not be able to defend them against harm.

From the physical assault and rape, Sethe and Paul D repress their feelings and memories, which has dire consequences.

Most notably, the infanticide of Beloved haunts her in the appearance of her dead daughter, Beloved. Beloved figuratively and literally consumes Sethe as Beloved “was getting bigger…[while] the flesh between her mother’s forefinger and thumb [faded]. [Denver] saw Sethe’s eyes bright but dead, alert but vacant, paying attention to everything about Beloved” (285). Sethe becomes smaller and less vibrant and her focus is completely centered on Beloved. This consumption indicates “Sethe will not survive her relationship with Beloved – that is, her struggle with her traumatic past – without help from the larger community and Paul D” (Field 10). Until the community helps Sethe, she will constantly be fixated on providing and atoning for her violent actions toward Beloved. In this fight for forgiveness, Sethe reveals why she had to kill

her:
“[Denver] knew Sethe’s greatest fear was the same one Denver had in the beginning – that Beloved might leave…That before Sethe could make her understand what it meant…That anybody white could take your whole self for anything that came to mind. Not just work, kill, or maim you, but dirty you. Dirty you so bad you couldn’t like yourself anymore. Dirty you so bad you forgot who you were and couldn’t think it up…she could never let it happen to her own. The best thing she was, was her children. Whites might dirty her all right, but not her best thing, her beautiful, magical best thing – the part of her that was clean” (Morrison 295-296).
Because the white men have dirtied Sethe, she lacks self-love as she indicates that the best thing about her is her children as they have not been touched by them. This vulnerability and insecurity that the white men have instilled in her is apparent in her questioning of her identity, and by the white men raping her, Sethe believes that she will not be able to be released from all of the pain they have caused. The dirtiness she describes is a lingering characteristic she associates with herself from them and because the white men have not hurt her children they are clean. Her justification for killing Beloved and attempting to kill all of her children is that she did not want the white men to dirty them and feel unsure of their worth.
Sethe has feelings and memories that she does not want to address because they are too difficult for her to fully process, which is also seen in Paul D. Paul D conceals his feelings in his “tobacco tin heart.” When telling Sethe about Mister, he stops himself because “He would keep the rest where it belonged: in that tobacco tin buried in his chest where a red heart used to be. Its lid rusted shut. He would not pry it loose now in front of this sweet sturdy woman, for if she got a whiff of the contents it would shame him. And it would hurt her to know that there was no red heart bright as Mister’s comb beating in him” (86). Paul D locks all of his pain within because he cannot bear to face it and he does not want to reveal his weaknesses and past to Sethe. Because he loves Sethe, he fears showing his vulnerability and shame from being raped, which indicates his lack of self-love. While Paul D thinks that this is the best solution, it prevents him from having a more meaningful and close relationship with Sethe and inhibits their love to grow.
Until slaves overcome their traumas, they are unable to reach a place of acceptance that will, in turn, lead them to the self-love and self-worth that was stolen from them through slavery. As uncomfortable and painful as it is, remembrance is part of the recovery process and it is “the only way to begin the process of healing that psychic wound, which continues to have grave effects on the present” (Christian 14). To heal the wounds of their pasts, Sethe and Paul D must remember their lives as slaves and confront the memories they believe they cannot return from. Morrison extends this idea of remembering to the entire black community as “the black community as a whole must attempt to heal from the trauma of slavery and the Middle Passage by remembering and mourning their past. Forgetting or repressing will allow for the painful memories to intrude upon their lives, just as Beloved took human form to invade Sethe’s life” (Field 11). Sethe has a difficult time with remembering her past because she feels the need to protect her children, her best thing, from slavery. She believes that in remembering, the children will begin to experience the pain that she endured, which she defines as rememory. For instance, Sethe warns Denver against rememory: