Marriage and Relationships - The Downside of Living Together

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The Downside of Living Together

More and more couples today live together or "play house" before taking the matrimonial plunge. Living together before marriage has become so popular that approximately half the couples in America participate in this activity (Gorrell 16). Some couples choose to live together to test their compatibility and possibly avoid an unsuccessful marriage. With the number of marriages ending in divorce these days, it sounds reasonable that many couples want to give marriage a trial run before making any formal commitment. But do the chances of a successful marriage actually improve by cohabiting?

"Cohabitation isn't marriage," says sociology professor Linda Waite of the University of Chicago (qtd. in Jabusch 14). Married and cohabiting couples do not have the same characteristics. According to Professor Waite, cohabiting couples lack both specialization and commitment in their relationships (Jabusch 14). Unwed cohabitants generally live more financially and emotionally independent of one another to allow themselves the freedom to leave. This often results in less monogamous, short-term relationships.

Married couples specialize-while partner might take over the cooking, the other might specialize in cleaning. They pool their money, time, and other resources, creating a higher quality lifestyle. Unmarried couples find it much harder to trust each other financially without the legal bond and, therefore, do not move quickly to pool those resources. While marriage does not ensure monogamy, married couples have more invested in their relationship and think longer before acting on their impulses and stepping outside of the relationship. Unmarried couples do not ope...

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...les who do marry after living together have higher rates of separation and divorce (Gorrell 16). The lack of commitment in such a relationship plays a large role in this scenario. If a couple wishes to have a successful marriage, they should show their commitment to each other from the beginning. If they trust each other enough not not cohabit before marriage, their marriage already has a higher probability of success.

WORKS CITED

"Why Are So Many Couples Living Together Before Marriage?" Jet. 3 Aug. 1998: 52-55.

Gorrell, Carin. "Live-in and Learn." Psychology Today. Nov. 2000: 16.

Hall, David R. and John Z. Zhao. "Cohabitation and Divorce in Canada: Testing the Selectivity Hypothesis." Journal of Marriage & the Family 57.2 (1995): 421-427.

Jabusch, Willard F. "The Myth of Cohabitation." America 7 Oct. 2000: 14-16.

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