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Marriage in the 1800s
Importance of traditional courtship
Marriage in the 1800s
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Pursuance of a life partner or just someone to love on has two different names depending on the case. Since the 1800s, America has started shifting more from courting to dating. When you are comparing courting traditions from the 1800s to now, one can see that America has become more persuadable about dating.
If one goes back in time to the 1800s, they would see that there were no girlfriends or boyfriends. Dating was known by a different name that held a higher meaning. Courting, as interpreted by thefreedictionary.com, “seeking the affections of a woman (usually with the hope of marriage)”. Courting was not just to have someone to have a physical relationship with. It was so that a man could find a suitable woman for marriage. As Quentin McCall said, “Courtship is becoming best friends so that you can have a loving and secure relationship”.
Back in the 1800s, dating was better known as courtship. Courtship transpired between only men and women for companionship and sometimes as a career move for the men. At this time, men would go “calling” to the women that they were courting. A man would also require the guardian(s) of the woman to approve of the meetings between to two.The dwellings for men and women to meet varied. The lower class according to angelpig.com, often socialized at Sunday service, church suppers, and holiday balls. Meanwhile the higher class would hold social events throughout the season.
Dangers of courting in the 1800’s were few due to the many conduct rules that were held for a woman. Angelpig.net lists several regulations that doubled to keep the courtship safe such as,
* A single woman never walked out alone. Her chaperone had to be older and preferably married.
* Proper women would never ride alo...
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...." PastorMark.tv. Mars Hill Church, 26 Oct. 2011. Web. 13 Feb. 2014.
Fass, Paula S. "Dating." Faqs.org. N.p., 2008. Web. 11 Feb. 2014.
McCall, Quentin. "The Difference between Dating and Courting." Thought Leader Relationship and Life Strategist Quentin McCall Knowledge 4 Life. N.p., 30 Oct. 2012. Web. 21 Feb. 2014.
Hickey, Claire. "Internet Dating and 21st Century Courtship: Romance or Danger?"Washington Times Communities. N.p., 1 Feb. 2013. Web. 21 Feb. 2014.
"Victorian Days: Courtship." Angelpig.net. N.p., n.d. Web. 21 Feb. 2014.
Print Sources
Godek, Gregory J. P. Love: The Course They Forgot to Teach You in School. Napervile, IL.: Casablanca, 1997. Print.
Stepp, Laura Sessions. Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both. New York: Riverhead, 2007. Print.
Harris, Joshua. I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Sisters, Or.: Multnomah, 1997. Print.
... premarital and immoral sexual services that would be inappropriate for respectable courtships of the time. Under false names such as “Frank Rivers and Bill Easy” the young clerks experienced courtship “unburdened by… bourgeois courtship and free of the renunciations and monotony of lifelong marriage” (Cohen, 131) .The women also catered to the clerk’s feminine and domestic needs like repairing and sewing clothing “as a wife would do for a husband” (Cohen, 149).
Entering a high school today, one might not see too many relationships, but one thing one might see is that the people in a relationship care about dating for a significant amount of time. The teenage culture of the 1950’s believed “going steady was a sign of popularity,” and the popular kids dated each other (Bailey 140). In Rebel Without a Cause, Judy, who is the dominant female of her group
The flapper life moved at a faster pace. Before this era of change, there was no dating scene where common interaction between men and women heading for spousal relationship could occur. The proper method to finding a spouse was controlled by the male. A young lady was expected to wait for a man to address her with intentions of marriage to begin courting (Rosenberg 1). The war left “nearly a whole generation of young women without suitors” (Rosenberg 1). This situation encouraged the flapper lifestyle because women did not want or have time to wait for a suitor.
Dating back to the early 1900’s and all the way through to the present, romantic relationships have been viewed differently. From strict unwritten dating regulations to not having regulations at all, recent generations have become more liberated in making their own decisions. The progressing times have made us become a more accepting society and have caused a decrease in the strong practice of religion and class. Even though differences such as religion and class in relationships were more than an issue they were not always a complete deterrence.
they even realize they were challenging their social condition. At the same time, attendance at particular popular dance halls and club events served to reinforce the notions of female submission and some Old Word traditions. Overall, however, we can see that the changes in society over this period of 1880-1920 benefited women. Look at how family life changed because of the movie theater experience. It brought families together; husbands and wives would attend with their children. Also, we can see that clubs and dances were safe places to meet those of the opposite sex, whereas previously, you may have had a husband chosen for you. It can be said with confidence then that the challenges implicitly mounted by women s search for leisure has indeed benefited their position in the late 19th and early 20th centurysociety.
Marriage is another aspect of families in the 1700's that is very different from today. Most girls in the 1700's married extremely early around th...
Marriage at the time focused on a heterosexual relationship between a man and woman. Kirsti S. Thomas, explains that marriage did not concern the true love element that exists in the typical marriages of today. At the time of Shakespeare, she states that marriage "served to transfer wealth or property and to continue the family line" (2). Marriages were the result of socially and economically oriented environments, similar to the caste system in India. According to a web source specializing in Renaissance weddings, such couplings of "...arranged marriages of the upper class were decided when the bride and groom were young, usually ten to eleven years. Lower class marriages had similar motives, however they were the result of pregnancies " (3). Generally, the marriage had to have full consent of at a family member or parental guardian. There were many ordinances and specific codes of conduct that had to be followed before a wedding was to take place. Thomas describes one of these ordinances with having two guidelines, "In order to be recognized by the church, one of the partners must give consent and the priest must say the formula, 'we join together in this holy matrimony...'" (6). Courtly love did exist, and was encourage...
In her essay, Woman in the Nineteenth Century, Margaret Fuller discusses the state of marriage in America during the 1800‘s. She is a victim of her own knowledge, and is literally considered ugly because of her wisdom. She feels that if certain stereotypes can be broken down, women can have the respect of men intellectually, physically, and emotionally. She explains why some of the inequalities exist in marriages around her. Fuller feels that once women are accepted as equals, men and women will be able achieve a true love not yet known to the people of the world.
Author, John H. Young, in his affirmative essay, “Our Department, or the Manners, Conduct and Dress Of Refined Society,” describes the rules of etiquette during the nineteenth century. Young’s excerpt uses academic tone to confirm that if a husband and wife follows the rules, they will have a successful marriage. John H. Young makes his argument about what to do to have a successful marriage by using repetition of words, diction, and syntax.
Early America was sexually active. One third of the brides were pregnant on their wedding day. Sexual relations were a part of courtship. “Bundling was the custom that allowed couples to sleep on the same bed without undressing.” “Erastus Worthington, a local historian, noticed the custom in 1828, of females admitting young men to their beds, who sought their company in marriage.” In large cities, prostitution became more common and was priced according to location.
Kate Chopin’s “The Story of an Hour” does not hit on this as hard, but it can be implied that society’s expectations of men played a role in the story. Men were taught to be providers and protectors to their families. Society expected them to be masculine, emotionless, and have some material success to show they were a respectable man. “If they were not married, it depicted that they were not fully masculine because they did not have a family to support” (Victorian Ideals). The article states many things that men were supposed to do to be seen as respectable by not only other men, but by society as a whole. Men needed to have a family and a wife; in order to get a wife, they had to have some financial success to be desirable to women and to gain their respect. In “The Story of an Hour” Mrs. Mallard is depicted as meek and fragile which is what women were supposed to be because men were expected to be the opposite. In one of the college responses to this story a student stated “I do not think this marriage is arranged, instead that she has been coerced by her society to marry despite what she may want to do in her heart and soul” (Student 1). This statement could go both ways, society expected everyone to marry, not just heavily on women. If a man did not marry it showed that he was less respectable and less successful than a man who married. It would make sense
Courtship is a form of dating that actively involves God, the parents, and has the end goal of marriage. It takes the position that there should be no physical activity between the two people, and they should not spend extended amounts of time together unless they are with their families or friends. Joshua Harris, the author of Boy Meets Girl, describes the way that he views courtship as “...not a set of rules, but that special season in a romance where a man and women are seriously weighing the possibility of marriage...a romantic relationship that is purposefully headed towards marriage.” Although Harris lived a life of courtship, he makes it clear that
Dating is a word that rings a bell to everyone. It mean different things to people from all walks of life. To the risk takers, it could mean a noteworthy adventure one has to tread while enjoying the bliss of singleness. To some they view it as a time in their life to get to know other people. To the hopelessly romantic ones, it is an avenue for them to sweep off somebody's feet and make someone fall head over heels. To the spiritually inclined, dating is an opportunity to exercise their trust and faith in God that someone out there is meant for them. It is a time for them to seek guidance and discernment as they choose over the people who tried to win after their heart.
Based on a research of Online Dating & Relationships, Smith and Duggan stated that the ways of finding partners have been changed with the times. In the past, people used matchmaking, arranged marriages and printed personal ads. With the rapid technology advancement, there are alternative methods - online dating sites and smart phone dating apps. To compare with the people who date traditionally, people who date online are active to choose their dream man or woman by browsing the others profiles (9).
In the twenty-first century, we use the internet for almost everything that we do. We use search engines such as Bing or Google to find information. Websites like Netflix and Hulu allow us to watch shows and movies without an expensive cable or satellite subscription. Social networks provide a new way to communicate with friends and family. Entire companies are run through the internet. With gas prices rising every day, it has also become increasingly popular to see a lot of jobs turn to telecommuting. It’s only natural that as other aspects of our lives conform to the internet, that online dating should also begin to be more prevalent in how we form new romantic relationships. Online dating is the new normal, and this is more evident now than ever.