Mamas Dialectical Journal Analysis

‘Tis been quite some time since I have last seen you though I know and have realized that today, on the Führer’s birthday, that I “would never see her [mother] again” (Zusack, #). I understand that we are only victims of circumstance, though I am not angered with you, Papa, or Mama. I am only furious with that of the Führer, the one who took your loving arms from me. Sometimes I wish, if only, that I could see you once more, and sometimes I wish that I could sneak off into the woods and scream about my hatred. Oh, my hatred. I shall not let it engulf me. I shall not let it take me; I shall only learn to keep living without you, though it hurts my heart. That is true. Though the pain persists within my aching heart, I have found some happiness in my new home on Himmel Street with Mama

and Papa… and even that saukerl, Rudy Steiner. You would like Rudy; he reminds me a lot of Werner. So playful, so brave. Almost everyday, the saukerl and I play soccer in the streets, and sometimes we even sneak off to steal apples and potatoes to feed our empty stomachs. The war for our country has unquestionably hit us hard.

Mama, though she may be rough, makes us a pea soup each week and has me deliver our washings to our customers, though we are losing them quite quickly. I believe Mama fears we won’t have enough for when winter comes. Papa, a quiet, mannered man, is the best father I could ask for. When I have my terrible nightmares about Werner, he plays on the accordion for me. Lately, he has been teaching me to read and write better, so that I may be able to get to my rightful position in school instead of with the small children. He has even taught me to roll his cigarettes, which he sold to get me two new books for Christmas. Oh, Max! He recently came to live with us, but I have to keep him a secret. At first, I was completely terrified of him; however, once I got to know him better, I now consider him a friend, much like Rudy. We have much in common – fists, nightmares, and trains. Oh, just thinking of those nightmares makes me miss you even more. I wish you were here; my birthday is coming up, and my only wish is to see you once more, though it will never happen because the Führer took you away.. I must not let my hatred engulf me; I

musn’t.