Love And Rejection: Breaking Up

Love and Rejection: Breaking Up

Some felt they were a modern day Romeo and Juliet. The reality, however, is that they were a heartbreaking example of what can go wrong with adolescents. Christian Dalvia, 14 and Maryling Flores, 13 were sweethearts who were forbidden by Flores' mother to see each other. In early November, 1995, the young couple met one last time. Standing at the edge of a Florida canal, they joined hands and jumped 15 feet into the cold, murky water to their deaths.

Their deaths may sound romantic, even heroic to other teenagers when, in actuality, it's just plain stupid. There were probably many other reasons for their deaths, but ultimately, the thought of not being together tortured to the point of wanting to take their own lives. This is a very extreme example of what can go wrong with teenage heartbreak. One minute they're inseperable - sharing their most intimate thoughts and details - the next minute they are faces across a crowded room or polite acquaintances at best. These are the consequences that come along with a breakup.

We teens hear about love all around us, in music and movies, on TV, in stories. We hear that love will make us happy. We hear that single people are lonely. We are told that if we are not part of a couple, we are not complete.

We all want to be part of this thing called ‘love'.

Okay, we get a boyfriend or girlfriend, now everything should be perfect.

But, it's not perfect, because life never is. It is easy to become disappointed. Feelings can change. One person may decide to say good-bye.

When that happens, the one left behind will feel rejected.

Rejection means choosing between one thing and another. The one who feels rejected thinks as if they are not good enough. It hurts. When the person you love decides to leave you, it is even more painful. Does rejection mean failure? No. The end of a relationship means that the boyfriend or girlfriend decided that s/he wanted a change. The reasons for this are within the ex - not within the rejected person. No one is a less valuable person because their boyfriend or girlfriend's feelings have changed. What To Expect

There are nine stages of rejection that almost all “dumpees” must go through. The pain may be awful, but each stage is part of the healing process.

The stages may not follow in an exact order, but they will all be experienced.

The Denial Phase: “This can't be happening.” During this stage, people may find themselves waiting for the phone to ring and not believing that the