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Lost in the Reflecting Pool: a Memoir by Diane Pomerantz provides readers with a glimpse into the emotionally abusive and self-destructive relationship she experienced for more than twenty years with a narcissistic and cruel husband. From its happy beginnings to its slide into disintegration, the marriage of Diane and her husband, Charles, is portrayed with thoughtful reflection, love, hate, and brutal honesty.
From its outset, the relationship of Diane and Charles seems to be a story-book romance where Charles dazzles her with flowers, home-cooked meals, wine in front of the fire, and long walks with her dog. Then comes the marriage proposal, the moving in together, the beautiful outdoor wedding, and the starting of their private practice
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as a psychiatrist and psychologist partnership. They seem to have everything, but soon it becomes clear that not all is well in paradise. Little derisive comments, statements about his mother, and other red flags start to show up, but Diane in her bubble of happiness and love does not take these warning signs to heart. Years pass and the couple tries to start a family with no success which drives them to seek out fertility treatments and eventual adoption which pays off, and they start a family. Diane is aglow with maternal bliss, but Charles becomes increasingly critical and begins to spend more time away from home. At this point, the memoir begins to show the mental and emotional toll on Diane as she begins to exhibit self-doubt, lack of self-confidence, and questions her decisions, thoughts, and feelings.
Charles, on the other hand, is arrogant, selfish, and seems to gain satisfaction from the turmoil he causes in Diane. Pomerantz then shares her intensely personal and honest battle with breast cancer. From the initial diagnosis, through the rounds of surgeries, chemotherapy, and eventual reconstruction, we follow Diane’s ups and downs. She shares her fear, the effects the disease has on her children, and we learn that Charles becomes less and less supportive throughout his wife’s illness. It is through this experience that the blinders finally come off and Diane realizes the true nature of her relationship with …show more content…
Charles. I found this memoir to be inspiring in many ways.
Pomerantz decided to use her true identity instead of using a pseudonym. She put her pain and suffering out there so that others could learn from her story. That she was able to overcome her health issues, insecurities, self-doubt, and post-traumatic stress and move on with her life are a testament to her strength of character and perseverance. As a victim of abuse myself, I found myself empathizing with Diane throughout the story. It is extremely difficult to extricate yourself from an abusive relationship for a variety of reasons. Many of these Pomerantz explains in her memoir: denial, lack of confidence, lack of money, feelings of inadequacy that have a paralyzing effect, and more.
Not only does Pomerantz provide insight into the abuse cycle and its effects but also she shows the importance of friends and family who provide support and encouragement. Pomerantz showed the strong bond that forms between a mother and her children especially as they witness her abuse. She explained the emotional effects and how she, as a trained child psychologist, dealt with this with her children. Her many friends, coworkers, and especially her father were the catalysts for change that eventually allowed Diane to move on to a better life for herself and her
children. Overall, I rate Lost in the Reflecting Pool: a Memoir 4 out of 4 stars. I enjoyed most Diane’s strength and willingness to share her experiences. The thing I enjoyed the least was the sadness that comes along with reading about someone’s suffering. This story is appropriate for women who are or have been victims of abuse or for readers who enjoy memoirs or stories of personal triumph. Everyone will find something that he or she can take to heart. Thank you to Diane Pomerantz for sharing this memoir.
Scene: Janie’s loneliness, desire for marriage and naive nature leads her to an ill-advised, and as a result brief, marriage to an older man named Logan Killicks. This demonstrates both her love longing and her lack of experience with love. Still, terrible as the marriage is, it is a learning experience.
... Joyce Dorado. "Who Are We, But For The Stories We Tell: Family Stories And Healing." Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, And Policy 2.3 (2010): 243-249. PsycARTICLES. Web. 2 May 2014.
In the end, readers are unsure whether to laugh or cry at the union of Carol and Howard, two people most undoubtedly not in love. Detailed character developments of the confused young adults combined with the brisk, businesslike tone used to describe this disastrous marriage effectively highlight the gap between marrying for love and marrying for ?reason.? As a piece written in the 1950s, when women still belonged to their husbands? households and marriages remained arranged for class and money?s sake, Gallant?s short story excerpt successfully utilizes fictional characters to point out a bigger picture: no human being ought to repress his or her own desires for love in exchange for just an adequate home and a tolerable spouse. May everyone find their own wild passions instead of merely settling for the security and banality of that ?Other Paris.?
David loved his step- mother very much and was often jealous of her other commitments and lack of soul attention towards him. During his early teens, David was informed that his step- mother had been fighting breast cancer for some time. He was previously unaware, and felt betrayed by his uninforming parents. Pearl's steady decline left him devastated, and her death in 1967 found him suddenly alone with his father (Bardsley 2001). Traumatic events like David losing his mother does a great deal to an individual's development in society due to the fact that there is no longer a positive cohesive whole unit as a family. We find that many people who lack a solid family background struggle later in life. An example of this would be the two guest speakers that spoke to our criminal justice class on November 12, 2001. Both individuals had parents who were once in jail or they had a limited relationship with.
“ It was the most beautiful and poignant love story I’ve ever read” ( Dir Darnell ). Love that is genuine is hard to come by on a daily basis, everyone is not meant to experience the marvelous wonders it has to offer. Not only is the subject matter cropped for modern day television, but the supporting characters in the novel are remade to fit Winfrey’s impression of Their Eyes Were Watching God. Males who would not perceive to be the typical sex to gossip, partake in many female characteristics in the movie. Janie’s character is broadcast to be a voice to be reckoned with in the screenplay as a vital denotation of women’s entitlement and place in this world as more than just a caregiver.
Janie marries three different men over the course of Their Eyes Were Watching God: Logan Killicks, Joe (Jody) Stark, and Tea Cake. Janie is able to preserve her agency in these marriages via an internal rebellion, she uses her thoughts to remain happy and outside the world her husband’s create. It is often the case that husbands expects a marriage where the female is subordinate to them and even Janie’s grandmother suggests Janie should abide by this expectation. However, Janie creates a space in her mind for an idealistic relationship and a place that her husband’s cannot touch. This ...
Using the murder of Dee Ann’s mother as a means to intertwine the lives of the characters together, Steve Yarbrough examines the nature of relationships in “The Rest of Her Life.” The relationships in the story take a turn after Dee Ann’s mother is killed, with characters seeking to act more on their own, creating distance between many relationships throughout the story. Independent lifestyles prevent emotional bonds that hold relationships together from forming, thus preventing the characters from maintaining healthy relationships. The dysfunctional relationship present between Dee Ann and Chuckie in “The Rest of Her Life” is the result of the characters ' desire for self-gratification.
...g and filled with detailed solutions for each act of child abuse. The book allows the reader to visual themselves in each situation and knows how to react towards such each incident. It helped me understand why adults abused as children act the way they do when it comes to social interaction. Personally, I have attained new information that I was unaware of. In the beginning, I have always believed that child abuse only involved physical or sexual abuse. I did not know that emotional abuse actually existed. I was unaware of the fact that emotional abuse gravely affects children as they grow up. This book may open up the minds of people who are unaware of or refuse to believe that child abuse is occurring daily in our society because it is so informative and persuasive at the same time. If one needs to educate themselves concerning child abuse, consider this book.
Progress is seen on the front of Claudia and Carolyn’s relationship. David attempts to reorganizes his relationship with Claudia in an effort to remove the pressure placed on her. However, the battle between Carolyn and Claudia continues to ebb and rise as the family narrows in on the dynamics of David and Carolyn’s relationship. Napier states to Claudia that, “...the family unconsciously agreed to go back to your and Carolyn’s war to rescue your mom and dad from the hot seat” (p. 137). When the family finally breaks free from this structure the exploration of David and Carolyn’s own relationship becomes the most critical aspect in therapy.
The job of a child welfare worker appears to be a demanding profession that promotes the child’s safety, but also strengthens the family organization around them in order to successfully raise the children. This child welfare workers work in the system known as the Child Protective Services whose initiative is to protect the overall welfare of the child. The short novel From the Eye of the Storm: the Experiences of a Child Welfare Worker by Cynthia Crosson-Tower demonstrates the skills necessary to deal with the practice of social work along with both its challenges and its happy moments. The novel consists of some of the cases involving Tower’s actual career in social work. In reading the book, I was able to experience some of the actual cases in which children dealt with physical and mental abuse from their families that caused them to end up within the system. Also, some of these children had issues in adapting to foster and adoptive families based on the issues they faced earlier in life. As we have learned earlier in the course, the violence that a child experiences early in life has an overall affect on the person they become as they grow into adulthood. When children deal with adverse childhood experiences, they are at a higher risk for abusing drugs and/or alcohol, increased likelihood of abusing their own child or spouse, higher rates of violent and nonviolent criminal behavior, along with several other issues throughout their lifespan.
In the year 2015, approximately 683,000 children became victims of child abuse. Of those 683,000 children, approximately 1,670 children died from child abuse (National Statistics). Child abuse is defined as “when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child” (What is Child Abuse). There are many different kinds of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation and emotional abuse. The purpose of this paper is to enlighten the readers to the fact that throughout the story the parents and caregivers abused their children. In The Glass Castle, Jeannette talks about the many memories that she had with her parents, but it is clear that even
Cummings theme of how strong someones love can be appeals to readers minds, because everyone wants that connection with their partner, That undying love for one another. Some people long for a love...
...hy abused children may act out in a bad way. It captures the terrible effects of abuse on an innocent child. The book also shows the perceptive of what a person could be going through. For example, when you see a child acting out in an out of control manner, it could be because they were abused. We shouldn’t judge a book by its cover because we have no clue what a person have gone through and why they may act the way they do. Most often people tend to place blame instead of having empathy for others. This story can help others to become educated on the way that abuse can affect people and can help the society as a whole to move forward in with empathy and embracement. Trainers and practitioners, working in childcare and child protection, could use this book. It provided an insight for people who are interested or going into the social worker career.
Irene claims that she can bear anything as long as no one knows she has to bear it. She wants to suffer in silence to save herself and her family from scrutiny, and to keep up the idealized family image. Irene’s inner monologue after unexpectedly dropping a glass after thinking of Clare with Brian stated “Her pride revolted” (94). This shows Irene is not only thinking about her husband’s betrayal, but also what that betrayal could do for her image. Irene was embarrassed that this could happen to her and what others might think of her as a wife.
Revolving around a young and recently married couple, Hurston develops an entertaining short story that explores the idea of a perfect marriage that is forced to cope with betrayal and the process of forgiveness. Newlyweds Joe and Missie May Banks frolic in their newfound marital bliss. They could not be happier with each other and Missie proudly plays trophy wife when Joe takes her out to the ice cream parlor. Unfortunately, the story takes a turn when Slemmons starts chasing after her, promising money in exchange for sex. One night, after getting off work early, Joe discovers his wife in bed with Slemmons and their marriage turns bitter. Joe becomes cold and distant until he realizes Missie is pregnant.