Living Together Before Marriage

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Recommended: Pre marital cohabitation

Living Together Before Marriage

As the rate of divorce soars and as increasing numbers of marriages

disintegrate, living together has become the popular alternative to many people

in north America. Expersts estimate that "roughly 2.2 million people are

currently sharing bed and board in a live-in arrangement, this is approximately

1% of the total population."("Family." Comptoms Encyclopedia. 1992 ed.)

Living together, more formally known as non marital cohabitation, is an emerging

lifestyle. In fact, "More than one fourth of all unmarried couples living

together in the early 1980's were between 25 and 34 years old, and an additional

19 percent were 45 and over."("Today's Families."Detroit Free Press 18 October

1995: B17.) Although living together is not a recent invention, the relationship

has yet to be legitimized with a respectable name. Existing terms such as

"shacking up" or "living in sin" are just some of the crude names being tagged

to people living together. Living together can be valuable a substitute for

marriage, a cur e-all for marital problems, and a solution to the problem of

frequent divorce.

A popular rationale for living together is that it is an ideal way to

have a "try out." This trial marriage is a result of the ever increasing divorce

rate. Many couples are afraid of marriage and decide to live together with the

intention to persue marriage if the temporary arrangement is successful. The

couples hope to "minimize their chances of a potential disastrous marriage; any

conflicting attitudes toward social activities, economic arrangements, or

domestic chores will be discovered and hopefully resolved while the couple live

together." (Carter, Sharon. "Trial Marriage". Ladies' Home Journal 14 (May

1993): 12-13.) If an unsolveable conflict arises, the couple can cancel their

wedding plans and escape the painful exercise of divorce. Living together

ultimately can test the couple's compatibility and have them really get to know

each other. Although evidence suggests that "couples who live together do not

necessarily have more or less successful marriages than couples who don't live

together before the wedding, studies show that non-marital cohabitors are more

realistic about their demands and expectations of marriage.("Ross, Eshleman J.

The Family: An Introduction. 5th ed. Detroit: Allyn,1988) Living toge...

... middle of paper ...

...of divided energies among dating, career development,

and economical survival. The burden of living can bee shared as the couple

persue personal goal and ambitions. Living together, for example, can provide a

harried student with emotional, physical, and sometimes economic support from a

sympathetic partner. (Pearce, Jack M. Modern Day Marriages. New York: Abel-

Hils,1990.)

Finally, more and more are turning to the idea of living together as the

emotional, physical, social, economic, and legal benefits are much better

alternative than the consequences that can arise from a failed marriage.

Certainly, "not all couples choose to include living together as a temporary

stage in their courtship, yet the option to cohabit is becoming increasingly

popular."(Groode, Williams J. "Marriage" Comptoms Interactive Encyclopedia.

(1996 ed.)

The freedom associated with living together is an important aspect, because

after a period of time the couple may decide to marry, to end the relationship,

or simple continue living together. As future trends continue, and more

marriages fail, the number of couples who live together are going to increase

due to the valuable benefits.

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