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Theories of grief and loss
Five stages of grief
Five stages of grief
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Grief is the natural human emotional response related to a loss of loved one or separation. Everyone grief differently. It is a process or a journey which does not end on a certain time. Life and grief are connected and both consists of good days and bad days. Sometimes grief may happen for months or years which ultimately will bring healing. “Grieving is crucial, necessary and unavoidable for successful adaptation” (Malkinson 1996). Grief and bereavement depend on the culture, religion and the nature of relationship with the lost one. There are many theories which explain grief. Lindemann (1994) developed a theory of grief. The theory of Parkes (1998) on grief is much similar to the theory of Bowlby (1980). The author would like take Kubler-Ross (1969) theory of grief to explain the grief process. The theories of grieving help to understand bereavement. There are several stages including in this model and Kubler-Ross believes that …show more content…
grief is real as the loss and it is individualised. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Denial appears like disbelief in a person who is grieving. This initial stage of grieving is more symbolic for a person who lost their loved one. It means when they come home it is difficult to believe that the loved one is not going to walk in the door at any time or they will never walk through that door again. When a person is in denial, initially he may respond by being paralysed with shock. Denial help to manage feelings unconsciously and also it helps to survive. In this stage the word become meaningless and life does not make any sense. They go numb and they have no idea of how to go on in life. Sometimes denial comes in the form of questioning the reality. The second stage is anger and it appears in many ways. Anger towards the loved one that he did not take care of himself or anger to self because of not providing him a better care. Sometimes there could be anger towards the doctor for not saving the loved one. In grieving there will be many forms of anger happens frequently in life. There is no limit for anger. It can extent to God also for not coming to help when we needed the most. Anger is an indication of the depth of love towards the loved one. There will be an end for anger and the feeling of loss will change its form. In the bargaining stage we need life returned to how it was and need the loved one back at home. We live in past trying to negotiate our path out of the hurt. Feeling guilty is common in bargaining. This stage of grief helps our mind to move from one state of loss to another and it can change over time. Bargaining is the way of escaping from the pain of loss. Sometimes we bargain that we might die for our loved one. Eventually the mind comes to the reality that our loved one is really gone. After the stage of bargaining our attention moves to the present.
Grief enters to the life at a very deep level. Depression is the right response to a big loss. The person in grief is withdrawn from life and live in deep sadness. There is no desire to do anything even if the mind says to do things. Life feels empty. The loss of a loved one is a depressing situation and this is an appropriate response. Sometimes this might need treated. In grief depression is nature’s way of protecting the nervous system to adapt something difficult to handle.
The stage of acceptance is about accepting the reality and recognising the permanent loss of the loved one. This is the final stage where healing takes place and we learn to live with the reality. Healing brings us closer to the loved person. We begin to accept sadly that it was our loved one’s time to die. We learn to begin our life by remembering our loved one. We cannot replace what is lost but we can start to make new relationships. Unless we give grief its time, we cannot begin life
again. My husband, Basil is originally from India and has been living in the UK for the past 12 years. His parents remain at home in India. He is very attached to his dad. One particular morning my husband got a call from his brother to say that their father was admitted to hospital with bad chest infection and he had been diagnosed with cancer lung and he could die at any moment. Basil could not believe his ears. He started saying; “my brother could be wrong”, he cried aloud by saying the doctors could be wrong. He booked flight and we left to see dad. When he saw his dad, both of them cried. Later that evening, Basil’s dad passed away. Basil was in a state of shock. He said “I cannot believe that my dad will not telephone me anymore”. Then he was very angry at mother for not taking him to the hospital sooner. Basil blamed the doctors for not diagnosing early. He sat for a long time at his bedside and cried. He claimed that he would have taken his father anywhere in the world to treat him. Two days after this, the funeral was arranged. After this Basil was not speaking with anybody. Every morning he went to church and spend hours in the cemetery. Basil became very depressed to the point where he would not even eat. His family was trying to distract him. In sudden death, the grief can take longer (Kubler-Ross.E and Kessler.D 2007). It took a few weeks, but he began to accept it and said that he got to see him before he passed away and dad was very comfortable. Accepting the reality of the loss of loved one takes time because it involves intellectual and emotional acceptance (Worden.J 2000). Basil became more content and was able to return home to UK. He put up an enlarged photo of his dad in our living room. Every year he goes to India for dad’s death anniversary. He talks to the children about their granddad and our son is given the name of his granddad to keep the memory. Grief is the personal experience of the loss. So viewing it in stages is appropriate (Worden.J 2000). According to Kubler-Ross not every individual go through all of the five stages. I was able to support my husband during the time of grief. This grief theory helped my husband to achieve comfort from knowing that same experiences are shared by others. However Stroebe et al (2004) argues that these stage model explain about the dynamic process of coping. Researches show that the limitation of Kubler-Ross’s model is that it present grief in a linear fashion and it consists of a set pattern, in reality the stages can overlap these patterns (Buglass.E 2010). Grief is an emotional, spiritual and psychological journey to healing. Grief theories are naturally valuable as it comforts and guides us in the grief process.
When we encounter the death of a loved one, it’s hard to understand and realized that the person is gone. According to Elizabeth Kubler Ross, individuals enter different stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and
All over the world and every walk of life, people experience the loss, and mourning as part of the normal life. Mourning usually occurs as a response of loss of relationship with the person, people or even animals with whom you are attached to such as death of a loved one, terminal illness, loss of your pets and animals. There are five stages of the normal grieving process: denial or isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance; the grieving process
Upon receiving the news that a loved one had died, those left to mourn, called survivors, often find themselves entangled in a complex web of emotions and reactions. The death of a loved one can be a frightening, overwhelming, and painful experience and the physical, psychological, and social effects of loss are articulated through the practice of grief. Grief has been known to be experienced in five stages called the Five Stages of Grief where each phase of the grieving process will go from initial denial to the slow healing of acceptance. However, the devastating aftermath of a loss of a loved one, coupled with the suffering experienced through the five stages of grief can cause the survivor to commit suicide themselves.
Accepting What’s Not There Have you ever wondered why you feel the way you do after you lose someone? Well that feeling is grief, and the many stages that come with it. Grief is a deep sadness, for the loss of a loved one, especially through death.
...ty during these stages of grief. The loss of a loved one is a painful experience and the effects of grief can be very difficult to overcome. However, when one begins to accept death, they also begin to acquire a type of strength that will help them cope with other struggles that they may come across throughout their lifetime.
Grieving is the outward expression of your loss. Every individual grief is likely to be expressed physically, emotionally, and psychologically. For instance, crying is a physical expression, while depression is a psychological expression. It is very important to allow the client to express these feelings. Often, death is a subject that is avoided, ignored or denied. At first it may be helpful
In 1969 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist, published the Pioneering book On Death and Dying. The work acquainted the world with the grieving process, called the five stages of grief. Kübler-Ross gathered her research from studying individuals with terminal cancer (Johnson, 2007). The first stage of the grieving process is denial. In this stage the person refuses to believe that their loved one is deceased, a common thought during this period is, “This can’t be happening to me” (Johnson, 2007).The second stage of the grieving process is anger. In this level the person becomes frustrated with their circumstances, a customary complaint is “Why is this happening to me?” (Johnson, 2007). The third stage of the grieving process is bargaining. At this point the individual hopes that they can prevent their grief, this typically involves bartering with a higher power, and an ordinary observance during this time is “I will do anything to have them back” (Johnson, 2007). The fourth and most identifiable stage of grief is depression. This phase is habitually the lengthiest as...
What is Grief? Merriam-Webster ‘s online dictionary defines grief as, “deep sadness caused by someone’s death; a deep sadness; and/or a trouble or annoyance”(n.d.). This term may have a different way of impacting one’s life depending on geographical location; culture plays an important role in how those that experiences a loss or hardship, cope with grief. After further research, a closer look will be taken at the five stages associated with grief and loss, how Hindu and Islamic Muslim culture deal with death, and how cultural differences may impact the stages of grief.
Individually, everyone has their own methods of dealing with situations and emotions regardless of any positive or negative connotation affixed to them. One prime example of this comes with grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying” suggests that there are five stages of mourning and grief that are universal and, at one point or another, experienced by people from all walks of life. These stages, in no particular order, are as follows: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. Each individual person works through these stages in different orders for varying levels of time and intensity, but most if not all are necessary to “move on.” In order for positive change to occur following a loss, one must come to terms with not only the event but also themselves.
Throughout the history of mankind there are two main things that are guaranteed in life, taxes and death. According to researchers at Hebrews For Christians, 56,000,000 people die each year, (Parson, 2014). Many of these people die at ripe old ages while there are a plethora of young people who die slow and tragic deaths. When death occurs many people are not prepared and therefore many devastating things can result from this. People usually experience problems with their emotions, they will stress over a number of situations, and many health issues will arise. Many people become depressed for long periods of time and give up on life. Although there are people who take these experiences to heart, there are many ways a person can deal with these problems. Dealing with these problems in a healthy manner, can lead to a very healthy healing process for everyone who is being affected by it. In this research paper I will discuss three main keys points. The first key point I will discuss the stages of death in the Kubler - Ross Model. Secondly I will discuss is the psychological effect of how death can effect people in many different ways. Third and final, I will show you many different ways a person can deal with grief.
Everyone has or will experience a loss of a loved one sometime in their lives. It is all a part of the cycle of life and death. The ways each person copes with this loss may differ, but according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s novel On Death and Dying, a person experiences several stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. There is no set time for a person to go through each stage because everyone experiences and copes with grief differently. However, everyone goes through the same general feelings of grief and loss. There are also sections in Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” that connect to the process of grieving: “On Pain,” “On Joy and Sorrow,” and “On Talking.” Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” reflects on Kübler-Ross’s model of the different stages of grief and loss.
People cope with the loss of a loved one in many ways. For some, the experience may lead to personal growth, even though it is a difficult and trying time. There is no right way of coping with death. The way a person grieves depends on the personality of that person and the relationship with the person who has died. How a person copes with grief is affected by the person's cultural and religious background, coping skills, mental history, support systems, and the person's social and financial status.
Grief can be defined as the natural reaction to loss. Grief is both a universal and personal experience (Mayo Clinic, 2014). Individual experiences of grief vary and are influenced by the nature of the loss (Mayo Clinic, 2014). There are multiple different theories that have attempted to explain the complex process of grief and loss. Theorists such as Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, William Worden and John Bowbly explain in their theories how they believe an individual deals with the grieving process. In this essay, I will be focusing on William Worden’s theory and will be discussing the process for a child aged nine to eleven.
Bereaved Parents go through grief, but extremely more intense than the average individual who has lost a loved one. Grief is different for every individual depending on the loss, and person they lost. Regarding implications and policy for grief, my finding point to the need of education around this topic for schools, social workers, hospitals and therapists. More professional’s services should be provided for not just individuals going through grief, but individuals who have lost a child or who have prolonged grief. Support groups and specialize grief interventions should be implanted into communities for families who are having a difficulty adapting to the death of their child. The high rates of marital problems, health related problems and depression should also be addressed. There should be some therapeutic interventions that reach out to bereaved parents
Depression happens when all attempts to prevent the impact of the loss have failed that the reality of it begins to set in as a profound sadness and lack of direction. Depression can be seen in Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem “In Memoriam A. H. H.” For example, in Canto 46 the speaker writes, “A lifelong tract of time reveal'd; / The fruitful hours of still increase; / Days order'd in a wealthy peace, / And those five years its richest field” (13-16). Here the speaker is saying that the five years he knew his friend were the best years of his life. The reality of the death of the speaker’s friend has set in and he finds himself miserable. In a way, the speaker is already giving up the possibility that there can be anything better than the five years he had with his friend. To give up on a full life so early is depressing. Additionally, in Canto 71 the characteristics of depression can clearly be seen. For example, the speaker writes, “Sleep, kinsman thou to death and trance / And madness, thou hast forged at last” (1321-1322). Within these lines, sleep symbolizes not only death, but also a dazed depressed state. This dazed depressed condition leads the speaker into a frenzy of confusion and regret. The speaker believes that sleep and dreams are preferable to wakening life depicting a man too depressed to even get out of