Kyle Clarke's Accident: A Case Study

TWO

Kyle Clarke was a college student at the University of Florida who never left after his time in Gainesville was completed. In his late twenties, his apartment living room was usually littered with dozens of empty beer and soda cans, consuming every inch of counter space. Not to mention the abundance of marijuana paraphernalia scattered about.

On this morning, Kyle was slumped over his hand-me-down living room sofa, trying to recover from what seemingly was another drunken bender that he had encountered. As he sleeps, Gator, his red nose Pit Bull, is pulling on Kyle’s sleeve in a poor attempt to wake him up. Gator pulls Kyle off of the couch and Kyle’s face hits the end table before he crashed to the floor. The crash awoke him instantly

and he shot up from the floor, hitting his head on the underneath part of the coffee table.

As he looked around confused, he said, “Shit, Gator! What the fuck am I doing sleeping out here?”

Kyle rose into a long stretch followed by an even longer yawn. He grabbed a roach joint from the ashtray, lit it up, and took a few pulls. He noticed his cell phone displaying that he had two new text messages. He grabbed his cell phone and read the messages.

First Message:

Kyle, I know your home. You need to text me back. This is Tom, You remember, your old boss. I’m not sure if you know, But were missing a giant vending machine. We’re not pointing fingers, but how an eight hundred pound vending machine can just up and disappear is just...unfathomable. So, just text or call me back.

Kyle couldn’t help but smirk as he passed the vending machine on his way to the bathroom. He started brushing his teeth but as he turned on the water faucet, no water came out. “Come on,” He said.

Second Message:

Mr. Clarke, this is Margret, your Probation officer. I’m texting in regards to the drug test that we have scheduled for you today. Remember it’s at five O clock. Don’t forget. Text me when you get this.

As he gargled a mouth full of beer in place of water, and spit it out he screamed, “Fuck!”