Kaitlyn's Acceptance Speech Analysis

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Kaitlyn 's Acceptance Speech for the Lead Self-Possessed Scientologist Oscar: Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly conjugate verbs! I feel so surgically enhanced! And this statue - it's so heavy! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to bow down before me and accept that even in my wildest hallucinations, I never would have made daddy promise that this could ever be so meaningless. And to the other second-rate nominees, I want each of you to know how totally mega-pumped your crushing defeat makes me feel right now! You know when they first told me I was a God on Earth, I just had to take a Xanax and laugh about how great my thighs have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda special You know, there are so many blood-sucking

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