Journal Entry: Jamie

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It’s the night before the first day of high school. At 1:00AM, Jamie still nervously lies awake on her bed, while thinking about her new chapter in life. Middle school wasn’t the best experience for her, as she was bullied for being “overweight” and being a nerd. Neither boys nor girls liked her for the way she was. Jamie couldn’t wait for high school to start so she could never see them again.
During the summer, Jamie spent most of her time alone at home as her parents both worked long hours. Her daily activities consist of going on Facebook, playing with her Barbie, watching television, reading the Bible, and purging. Jamie had developed the disorder of anorexia nervosa and purged out whatever she ate in order to lose weight to be socially fit. The experience of being bullied gave her the determination and persistence to continue even though it was painful and started to erode her lower teeth. Beauty obsessions started to follow the thorough analysis of television shows such as Gossip Girls and America’s Next Top Model. From these shows, Jamie developed a sense what perfection meant to her. Her allowance for the rest of the summer was spent on new makeup and clothes. By the end of the summer, her goal of having a thigh gap was successful. After losing 50 pounds, Jamie only weighed about 83 pounds. It seems like this is what our culture expected from women and of her. Our culture, reflected by media, displays an image of how woman should look and that ideal image is embodied in the Barbie that Jamie holds in her hand.
At 5:30AM, Jamie wakes up to start her makeup application. She follows the directions that learned online about putting on the perfect amount of makeup from foundation to eyeliner to lipstick and which brands to u...

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...ress, the diner found some work for her to earn money. Because of the gentleness of waitress and the kindness of the people, Jamie decides to push on with life.
Eventually, life straightened out for Jamie. She is working part time in the diner and part time on her own business that was supported from the money earned from the diner. Most importantly, this money is used to support her daughter, Emily. Later on that night, as Jamie just put Emily to sleep, she thinks to herself how far she has made it and that she is now a woman. Our culture taught young girls to grow up to socially fit into the norms by striving to mimic the life and body of figures such as Barbie. Following the expectations of culture did not make Jamie a woman; it was the courage to stand up to make the right decisions after falling down from mistakes. It is what being a strong human being means.

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