Jokes

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A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap.
The psychiatrist says, "Well...I can clearly see your nuts."

****************************************************************************

How well does cold water clean?

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of the state he lived in.

After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon.

He noticed a film like substance on his plate and he questioned,
.Grandfather, .....are these plates clean?

His grandfather replied.... those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal.

Later on that after noon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yokes.... so he asked again..
Grandfather, are you sure these plates are clean?

Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says......
I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore!

Still later on that afternoon, he decided to get dinner in a nearby town.

As he was leaving, his Grandfather's dog started to growl and would not let him pass ....

Grandfather, your dog won't let me out.

Without diverting his attention from the baseball game his Grandfather was watching, he shouted........

COLDWATER,
GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE WAY!

***********************************************

A dad walks into a market with his young son. The
>> > kid is holding a quarter.
>> > Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the
>> > face. The dad realizes
>> > the boy has swallowed the quarter and
>> > starts panicking, shouting for help.
>> >
>> > A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking
>> > woman in a blue business
>> > suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market
>> > reading her newspaper and
>> > sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the
>> > commotion, she looks up, puts
>> > her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds her
>> > newspaper and places it
>> > on the counter. Then she gets up from her seat and
>> > makes her way,
>> > unhurried, across the market. Reaching the boy, the
>> > woman carefully takes
>> > hold of the boy's testicles and
>> > starts to squeeze, gently at first and then over
>> > more firmly. After a few
>> > seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up
>> > the quarter, which the
>> > woman deftly catches in her free hand.
>> >
>> > Releasing the boy, the woman hands the coin to the

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