Isabella Gonzales Sparknotes

After a hit and run accident, a young student finds herself targeted by an ambitious DA, when she’s unjustly accused of drug trafficking in jail.

BRIEF SYNOPSIS

ISABELLA GONZALES (20’s) is a young waitress trying to make financial ends meet. She hopes to be a nurse. Her life changes when driving home on a rainy night and she hits something in the road. She notices blood on her car, but continues to drive home.

Isabella is shocked when she learns that she hit and killed DENNIS HOFFMAN. Isabella calls the EDWIN, the man she’s been dating, for help.

With her attorney, MICHAEL, Isabella turns herself into the police. An ambitious DA, JENNIFER DAVISON (40’s) wants Isabella prosecuted. Isabella is eventually charged, but agrees to a one-year

jail sentence.

Inside jail, she befriends JANICE who protects Isabella from other prisoners.

Isabella makes a phone call for Janice to her boyfriend asking him to bring tampons.

Isabella is released and ready to start a new life with Edwin, but things go horribly wrong when she’s falsely accused of drug trafficking. They claim the phone call she made for Janice was a code for bringing drugs. The DA is thrilled to have her arrested. This time she’s facing prison. She makes another deal.

In prison, a cellmate, SELMA, befriends and mentors Isabella to go on with her life and learn something. Isabella attends cosmetology school. She runs into Janice and her homie CRYSTAL. They attack Isabella and Isabella ends up in solitary confinement with more time. She emotionally pushes Edwin away from her. She wants him to move on with his life.

Selma, once again, mentors Isabella, who returns to the class. Janice conceals a shank and pretends to be a customer. Isabella is tempted to use the hair shears to cut Janice. Selma stops her, but Janice stabs Selma. She dies.

Edwin investigates the DA and learns she has a conflict of interest. A drunk driver killed her son. Edwin calls to have the case on Isabella reopened. Isabella is finally released; ready to begin her life with

Edwin.

STORY COMMENTS

HIT/RUN is an intriguing character driven drama. The goal of justice is clear and the stakes are high. Solid themes about justice, healing, and perseverance are well integrated into the plot.
The opening scene sets the tone and some mystery and anticipation. There’s a solid inciting event when the protagonist, Isabella, hits a man with her car.
The story is propelled forward when she agrees to a deal and goes to jail. Just when it all seems resolved, the situation spirals out of control when Isabella is accused of drug trafficking. This elevates the tension and the stakes.
The story is nicely driven by the protagonist’s inner emotional struggle and guilt. The script does a great job or inciting the emotion of indignation in the audience when the DA goes after Isabella and the situation gets darker and darker. There feels like there’s no way out for Isabella raising the tension and suspense. The script does a good job making the audience root for Isabella.
With that said, there are other areas of the script that are worth discussing.
First, it’s a story or plot that feels familiar. To be successful with a familiar concept, one has to offer the audience something new and different, such as a new hook or a refreshing point of view. Right now, although well written, the plot doesn’t really offer something original, or a strong enough hook.
At first, one thought this might be about a story of a young woman who deals more internally with the idea that she hit and killed someone and how this affects her emotionally and psychologically. This would be a story that presents with great moral conflict. However, this is only briefly touched upon and the real story is about the injustice of the legal system. Certainly, it’s a relevant topic, but, once again, it doesn’t offer a new point of view.
Basically, a young woman is unjustly persecuted and she has to overcome it. However, she really doesn’t overcome it, it’s her boyfriend, Edwin, who actually “saves” Isabella.
Thus, Isabella could be more proactive. She basically goes along with the plan or the deals. She doesn’t really fight the injustice or drive her release.
The jail and prison scenes feel familiar and predictable. There are also credibility issues. One is the first charge. It’s unclear why there would be a judge hearing the case if charges haven’t been filed yet. It doesn’t sound like a grand jury. Research this to make sure it’s proper procedure.
Her second arrest also doesn’t feel believable. The evidence isn’t convincing and the idea that they storm into the house to arrest her is a leap. It feels overly dramatic and a bit contrived that she’s having sex when they burst into the room.
Later on, there’s another concern about credibility when Edwin exposes the DA. It’s very challenging to believe that he’s the only one who has figured out her background. Also, just because she had a child who died in a similar situation may not automatically excuse her from prosecuting the case.
One does wonder about the ability of prisoners to be allowed to work with scissors and other deadly weapons, especially if they have been involved in fights.
The other area of the script that is worth discussing is the love story. One is never convinced that Edwin and Isabella are in love. One keeps wondering why Edwin supports Isabella. Try to develop stronger chemistry.

In fact, Edwin is a character with more room for development.

He’s almost too perfect. Edwin never doubts Isabella, even when she acts cold and aloof towards him. Perhaps giving him some doubt and questioning her would elevate the personal tension and chemistry. Remember, great chemistry is created with the balance of conflict and attraction. Perhaps instead of Michael, Edwin is the attorney who represents Isabella.
Isabella has inner conflict, but at times she feels a bit detached and abrupt with people, making it more challenging to care about her. The audience still roots for her, but she’s not an endearing character. One reason may be because the audience doesn’t see her struggling enough with her decisions or making tough moral choices. At the end, it’s nice to see her write a letter to the family, although it would have been more effective if the audience had felt Isabella’s pain was genuine.
The secondary characters feels believable with the exception of the DA who would benefit from more developed and seems a bit one-dimensional. It’s leap to believe no one knows her background and the idea of a mental hospital stretches

believability.
There are alternatives to the current storylines: one could be that she hits and runs, but doesn’t turn herself in and struggles with moving on with her life, with this secret. This would give her greater inner conflict.
The other possible storyline is that she hits/runs, but turns herself in, that the person she hit was someone the community really cared about, and after her release she has to try and fit back into society given her backstory. This also would provide for more conflict.
Of course the current storyline can also be revised to add more originality and complexity to the plot and characters.
The most tension actually comes during Isabella’s first incarceration. There’s a feeling of doom as her release date approaches. One feels a ticking clock that something terrible is going to happen to her. This creates good anxiety and fear in the audience.
The tension isn’t as strong during the prison sequences, even in the final scene in the cosmetology class, the tension doesn’t provoke the same anticipation. The release feels anticlimactic.
Also, try to elevate the tension during the accident scene.

Here are more specific notes:
The first act, until the accident, doesn’t endear the audience to Isabella or the story. The dialogue in these scenes doesn’t sound overly compelling. What does work is the anticipation regarding Dennis pulling over and Isabella leaving.
What might be even more effective to endear one to Isabella is to show her at school and work, and make her a bit softer and engaging.
Consider making Dennis Hoffman a person that the community adored to elevate the stakes and personal tension.
Show more of Isabella’s internal struggle. Show that she’s a good person, working hard, has good goals, and one second in her life changes everything. Maybe she was tired that night. Have her question her own reflexes and why she didn’t stop. She seems to have PTSD and there’s a nice scene when she can’t drive because she’s fearful. Perhaps show her going to therapy.
Make Isabella more proactive.
Continue to work with Edwin to be less perfect and more conflicted.
Try to create more chemistry between Edwin and Isabella.
Work on the role of the DA.
Try to avoid the ending being too simplistic.
Try to make the events feel more realistic and credible.
Continue to develop dialogue.
On a small note, on page 12, it sounds a bit awkward when Isabella calls Edwin and says, “I need you to come see me.” It sounds a little demanding, and just a bit odd.
On page 16, Isabella sounds harsh, sarcastic, and demeaning when she says, “My high powered attorney…” It’s not clear why she would take this tone of voice. It makes her less likable. On page 23, she again is abrupt with Edwin and Michael.
If Isabella is going to have an attitude and a hard exterior, then she needs to be consistent and show this side of her in the jail/prison scenes, and the audience has to learn why she has such a tough exterior.
Consider cutting the flashback about Selma’s story, as it isn’t really necessary, or at least tighten it.

SUMMARY & MARKETABILITY
This is the type of film that would be appropriate for an independent film or cable/made-for-TV. The plot isn’t the most original. Once it becomes a jail/prison story it becomes less engaging, only because these types of films tend to be dark and the scenes familiar.

The characters can be castable with more development. Giving Isabella more internal conflict and giving her stronger moral decisions will give an actor more emotion to work with. Edwin is a bit too perfect and presents with no flaws. Try to find his conflict.

The script is positioned towards the drama target audience.