Is Facebook Making Us Lonely Summary

In the article, “Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?” by Stephen Marche the overall message is about questioning whether the usage of Facebook is making people feel lonely. In other words, whether or not Facebook, which is a social media tool, can manipulate a person to feel a certain way. The article explains that due to many people using Facebook, communication, like face-to-face contact, has decreased and therefore loneliness has taken over some people, as an illness. It also states that Facebook is a tool that many people use and it is how they use it that makes a difference. I believe that loneliness can only affect a person through his/her own actions; no one, not even a tool, can make that happen. The interpretation of a post, the Internet’s

availability and choosing what to post for others to see has no effect on changing a person’s mood.

I believe that there isn’t a direct connection between loneliness and Facebook. This is said because a person cannot be manipulated by a tool, what a person sees and interprets from it can. A tool cannot do much to a person, for instance all Facebook does is allow a person to interact with family members at long distances and create networks. It’s understandable that nowadays due to the advances of technology face-to-face contact has decreased and that people have started to be lonely. Loneliness is an illness in which people believe they have no one to count on, but that is mostly all in the mind.

Moreover, in the article Stephan Marche quotes Moira Burke, who analyzed Facebook users and indicated that there is a connection between what people read and their interpretations. He writes, “If people are reading about lives that are much better than theirs, two things can happen … they can feel worse about themselves, or they can feel motivated” (Marche 23). In other words, people make their own meaning of what they see. When people read about what other people are doing they can interpret that information in two ways, hope or frustration. This is important because it is showing that Facebook doesn't have a direct effect on what people feel by reading posts from other people. Facebook itself doesn't make a person feel motivational or depressed, it is the post and the comprehension of the posts that change a person.
John Cacioppo, who studied loneliness, questions whether the Internet changes what a person feels or if due to what a person feeling lonely they decides to rely on the Internet.

Marche quotes Cacioppo when it said, “does the Internet make people lonely, or are lonely people more attracted to the Internet?” (Marche 19). This is interpreted as lonely people relying on the Internet for satisfaction or if people who use the Internet often start feeling lonely. People use the Internet for many reasons like to watch videos, listen to music, play games or do research. Yes, it may be possible that lonely people have relied on the Internet to get away from the feeling because with the Internet they are able to talk to people, be active by playing games, or watch movies. Some may also say that because a person becomes too attentive to the Internet they may isolate themselves from everyone else, which may be true since technology is powerful. However, a person needs to have a control over their usage of the

Internet.

Stephan Marche highlights that the advantage of using Facebook is that people are able to post things that they would want to show to others. He said, “the beauty of Facebook, the source of its power, is that it enables us to be social while sparing us the embarrassing reality of society,” (Marche 31). This is saying that people are not placing who they really are on Facebook. By limiting what they show to other people they are portraying themselves as other people. This then prevents a person from getting to know a new people and who they really are. Although Facebook is the medium in which other people sees what a person posts, it isn't Facebook who chooses or allows what a person can and cannot post. There are a variety of things that can be seen in Facebook, such as videos, pictures, comments and advertisements. But just because these items are viewable it doesn’t mean that it was Facebook who posted it and made a person look at them.

Furthermore, I believe that Facebook is not making us lonely.

The act of feeling and being lonely is due to isolation. People can sometimes isolate themselves in a hard time, such as grieving from a loss or because they feel they should. In Facebook once created the account a person can choose whom to send a friend request to. After a friend request has been accepted both people are able to post in each other’s wall and are able to see any posts that they publish. If they wish to comment or like it the person is interacting with another person through Facebook. However, if a person decides to do nothing, then the person may think that no one wants to talk to

them.
In addition, Stephan Marche compares that feeling narcissistic or lonely it is the same. He states, “narcissism is the flip side of loneliness, and either condition is a fighting retreat from the messy reality of other people,” (Marche 37). This means that when a person feels lonely or narcissistic the cause of the feeling is due to ones self. Narcissism means that a person feels too obsessed about themselves and focus on themselves. This is similar to loneliness because a person decides to get away from everyone else and just be without company. Some may interpret as not having company and being able to admire themselves as good, but with too much obsession and no one to talk to it will then lead to loneliness. Loneliness and narcissism is what a person decides to do based upon of what they think. Its what they think that makes them change their mood, meaning that a tool cannot do that because a tool cannot think for a person.

Stephan Marche insists that the people make decisions on the way they use technology. He said, “casting technology as some vague, impersonal spirit of history forcing our actions is a weak excuse. We make decisions about how we use our machines not the other way around,” (Marche 30). In other words we can't blame technology for the things that we do on the Internet or how we feel for using it. Facebook is just a tool that people use all over the world. It cannot make a person do something when it has no effect on a person. Some may say that the effect it has on a person is that they feel sad by seeing the activities of their friends, but then again its important to know that the friends posted it, not Facebook. Facebook should just be seen for what it is, a tool. And people shouldn’t blame that it does more than that, give information of what others present on their pages.

The usage of Facebook does not affect a person’s feeling nor does it cause an illness for them. People have control over what they feel and what analysis results they get from what they view. The company of Facebook was not and is not intentionally made available to people to make them feel lonely. It is just a tool, like the Internet, that people have access to and it depends upon them how they use it. The people need to have control over their tools and can’t let their tools control them although there are many technological advances made each day, it is necessary to keep in mind that our actions have consequences and we cannot blame others, not even a tool, for certain results such as loneliness or having no friends. If one doesn’t want to be lonely then they should change something to stop feeling that way instead of finding blame in something.