I'm Stan - I'm Gay

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This essay is the story of my life, in a way. "A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit." Psalm 51:12

I was raised in a close, loving household and went to parochial school. When I began to experience attraction to male peers in junior high school, I didn't know what to make of the feelings. Mostly, I stuffed them down, decided this was an adolescent phase, and went along with my life.

At 13, I began to masturbate daily, often fueled by fantasies of guys in my class. I told myself this phase would pass; however, when friends in high school started dating girls, bragging of their exploits, I couldn't relate. I knew many girls who were my friends, but I'd never felt the slightest spark of romantic interest in them.

Through high school and college, I dated several girls and dutifully "made out" with a few, but never felt that "rush" I got from my attraction to men. Friends from college began to pair off, marry, and have children. I began to realize this adolescent "phase" was not going to magically vanish.

To this day, I thank God for protecting...

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