I Miss Feeling Uncomfortable

I Miss Feeling Uncomfortable

Going overseas was indeed one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It has had a lasting impact, an impact I feel every day of my life. After living in Swansea, Wales last year, I had grown accustomed to biking along the Atlantic Coast Bay to class everyday, hiking amongst sheep-littered cliffs, more green than I could imagine, and walking the beach, just a quarter-mile from my dorm, on moonlit nights, contemplating the world and my place in it. However, I had also grown accustomed to days on end without seeing the sun, days without talking to anyone, and daily drenchings from riding an old, rusty bike in the rain, which never seemed to stop. Living such a life, completely out of my comfort zone, not knowing a soul, and not being oriented to my new community, I began to feel very depressed. I questioned why I had come and what I was doing there. I missed my friends, my boyfriend, Dagwood's sandwiches, and driving a car down Kirkwood. I missed feeling comfortable. And the further I sank in this depression, the more compassionate and understanding of the human experience I became. I can now see how someone's emotional state truly affects their outlook on life and how they interact with others on a daily basis. Before this, I honestly had no concept of why people were ever rude, mean, and inconsiderate. Sure, we have all had our bad days, and this can influence how we treat others, but I had never had bad months. And in realizing this, through being depressed from being out of my comfort zone, my capacity for compassion and understanding has grown tremendously. When someone commits an injustice to another human being, instead of so quickly judging them, I slow down and ask, "What is it in their life that is causing them to behave in this way? Where are the feelings stemming from? They must be facing some unhappiness in their life." I can relate on a level I had not known before. This has translated into my job at the Shalom Community Center, and into my daily life in my interactions with people. It has really affected how I see the world and deepened my understanding of the human experience tremendously.

After the first few months of isolation and depression, things did pick up! I began to make new friends who I still keep in contact with, from all over Britain and other exchange students from North America.